Question:
Is it permissible for a virgin girl to marry without her father’s consent? Additionally, what is the Islamic ruling on young men and women communicating over the phone or exchanging messages under the pretext of marriage?
However, it is equally impermissible for a father to prevent his daughter from marrying a righteous and compatible suitor. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
«إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وأمانته فزوجوه، إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبير»
“When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes for marriage, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be fitnah (tribulation) on Earth and widespread corruption.”
[Hasan - Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1084]
Allah says in the Quran:
«وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ»
“It may be that you dislike something while it is good for you, and it may be that you love something while it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.”
[Surah Al-Baqarah: 216]
(Shaykh Saleh bin Fawzan bin Abdullah Al-Fawzan)
Is it permissible for a virgin girl to marry without her father’s consent? Additionally, what is the Islamic ruling on young men and women communicating over the phone or exchanging messages under the pretext of marriage?
Answer:
1. Marrying Without the Wali’s Permission
It is not permissible for a woman to marry without her guardian’s (wali) consent, as he has been entrusted with overseeing her well-being and making informed decisions regarding her marriage. The father, being the primary guardian, is generally more experienced and capable of making sound judgments in such matters.However, it is equally impermissible for a father to prevent his daughter from marrying a righteous and compatible suitor. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
«إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وأمانته فزوجوه، إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبير»
“When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes for marriage, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be fitnah (tribulation) on Earth and widespread corruption.”
[Hasan - Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1084]
2. The Role of the Daughter
A daughter should avoid insisting on marrying someone whom her father disapproves of, as her father may have deeper insight into what is beneficial for her. She should place trust in her guardian’s judgment and continue making du’a (supplication) to Allah for a righteous spouse.Allah says in the Quran:
«وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ»
“It may be that you dislike something while it is good for you, and it may be that you love something while it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.”
[Surah Al-Baqarah: 216]
3. Prohibition of Unnecessary Interaction Between Genders
It is impermissible for a girl to engage in conversations or exchange messages with a boy under the pretext of marriage. Such interactions lead to:- Fitnah (temptation): Young men may begin to look at the girl with inappropriate intentions.
- Loss of modesty: Repeated interactions can strip the girl of her haya (modesty), which is a fundamental virtue in Islam.
- Negative consequences: These practices rarely end in praiseworthy outcomes and may cause harm to the girl’s reputation and dignity.
Conclusion
- A woman cannot marry without her father’s (or wali’s) consent, as his guidance is essential in ensuring a successful and righteous union.
- Fathers should not reject suitable proposals without valid reasons.
- Communication between non-mahram men and women, whether through phone calls or messages, is strictly prohibited as it leads to temptation and compromises modesty.
(Shaykh Saleh bin Fawzan bin Abdullah Al-Fawzan)