❖ Introduction
Condolence (Taʿziyah) refers to comforting the bereaved by expressing sympathy and encouraging patience. It is a commendable act in Islam. However, when it exceeds the limits set by the Shariʿah—manifesting in acts of impatience, wailing, or expressions of protest against divine will—it becomes blameworthy and a cause of divine punishment.The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
ليس منا من لطم الخدود وشق الجيوب ودعا بدعوى الجاهلية
“He is not from us who strikes the cheeks, tears the garments, and cries out with the cries of ignorance.”
—[Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1294; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 285; Sunan al-Tirmidhī 999]
❖ The Prophet’s Method of Condolence
◈ Example of Sayyidah Zaynab رضي الله عنها:When Sayyidah Zaynab sent word to the Prophet ﷺ regarding her dying son, he responded:
إِنَّ لِلَّهِ مَا أَخَذَ وَلَهُ مَا أَعْطَى وَكُلُّ شَيْءٍ عِندَهُ بِأَجَلٍ مُسَمًّى، فَمُرْهَا فَلْتَصْبِرْ وَلْتَحْتَسِبْ
“Indeed, to Allah belongs what He takes, and to Him belongs what He gives, and everything with Him has an appointed term. So instruct her to be patient and hope for reward.”
When she insisted, the Prophet ﷺ visited and upon seeing the child at the point of death, tears welled in his eyes. When asked, he replied:
“This is mercy which Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants, and Allah shows mercy to those who are merciful.”
—[Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1284; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 923; Ibn Mājah 1588]
❖ A Shocking Incident: The Danger of Losing Patience
A man who suffered the loss of his son, daughter-in-law, and grandson could not bear the grief. When someone consoled him by saying “It was Allah’s will,” he became enraged and uttered blasphemous words against Allah ﷻ. At that moment, the awl he was using pierced his eyes, blinding him. A terrifying example of how losing patience can lead to divine wrath. Indeed, the fruit of patience is always sweet.❖ Supplication During Tribulation
Sayyidah Umm Salamah رضي الله عنها reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:“Whenever a Muslim is afflicted with a calamity and he says what Allah has commanded —
‘إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ، اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي، وَأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا’
‘Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we shall return. O Allah, reward me in my affliction and grant me something better in return’ —**
Allah will compensate him with something better.”
—[Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 918]
❖ Duration of Mourning
Sayyidah Umm Ḥabībah رضي الله عنها said:“It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days over any deceased, except her husband — for whom the mourning period is four months and ten days.”
—[Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1486]
✔ This ruling emphasizes that mourning beyond three days is not allowed for any deceased except the husband. The wisdom in specifying women is due to their naturally tender hearts.
✔ By extension, men too are not allowed to maintain a mourning atmosphere beyond three days.
❖ Clarification Regarding Excessive Mourning
Some people commemorate the martyrdom of Imām Ḥusayn رضي الله عنه with prolonged and excessive mourning each year from 1st to 10th Muḥarram, including chest-beating, wailing, and self-harm with chains and blades.
If such practices were legitimate, then the righteous early generations — including the Ṭābiʿīn, Tabaʿ Tabiʿīn, the four Imāms, and even Imām Jaʿfar aṣ-Ṣādiq — would have done so. But there is no authentic evidence that any of them engaged in such practices, as they do not conform to the Sunnah.❖ Waiting Period (
According to Sūrah al-Baqarah (2:234) and the ḥadīth of the Prophet ﷺ, the waiting period (ʿiddah) for a widow is four months and ten days.If she is pregnant, her ʿiddah continues until she gives birth, as per Sūrah at-Ṭalāq (65:4).
✔ During this period, she is to remain in a state of simplicity and refrain from beautification as an expression of mourning for her husband.
✔ The ʿiddah is calculated based on lunar months.
❖ Conclusion
Islam has prescribed clear guidelines for condolence and mourning. Encouraging patience, avoiding acts of ignorance and extremity, and adhering to prophetic supplications and boundaries are key aspects of responding to death with dignity and submission to divine will. Mourning must never become a platform for innovation, public wailing, or blame against Allah ﷻ.May Allah ﷻ grant us all the ability to endure trials with patience and faith, and may He shower mercy upon our deceased. آمین.
