Excerpt from the book: Ahkām wa Masā’il – In the Light of Qur’an and Sunnah by Shaykh Mubashir Ahmad Rabbani
When a man marries a second time, is it obligatory upon him to equally fulfill conjugal relations (sexual intimacy) between both wives when dividing nights?
And if at some point he is not inclined to have intercourse with one wife during her turn, will that be considered sinful?
When a man enters into a second marriage, it becomes obligatory upon him to maintain justice and fairness in material matters between both wives—such as:
If he fails to uphold justice in these areas, he will be held accountable on the Day of Judgement.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
"If a man has two wives and he is unjust between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with one side of his body paralyzed."
Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, Bāb Mā Jā’a fī al-Taswiyah bayna al-Ḍarā’ir (1141); Abū Dāwūd (2133); Ibn Mājah (1971); al-Ḥākim (2/186, Ḥadīth 2759)
This applies to matters that are within a man's capacity—such as the equitable allocation of time, resources, and presence.
But what is beyond human control, like:
—are not subject to accountability.
Imām al-Khaṭṭābī رحمه الله writes in Maʿālim al-Sunan (3/218–219):
“This ḥadīth emphasizes fair division between co-wives in matters like time and presence. A deficiency in conjugal interaction (intimacy) is disliked but not sinful.
If the heart naturally inclines to one over the other, it is not blameworthy, because the heart is beyond one’s control.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ would treat all wives equally in worldly matters and say:
‘O Allah, this is my division in what I control, so do not hold me accountable for what You control and I do not.’”
﴿وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ﴾
“And you will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if you desire it, so do not incline completely [to one] and leave the other hanging.”
Sūrah al-Nisā’: 129
Imām Ibn Kathīr رحمه الله explains in his Tafsīr (2/392):
“O people! You are not capable of maintaining absolute equality in all aspects between your wives.
Even though nights can be divided equally, there will inevitably be differences in love, desire, and intimacy.”
This is based on the Prophet ﷺ’s own example: During his final illness, he remained with Sayyidah ʿĀ’ishah رضي الله عنها and sought permission from his other wives to do so.
❖ Question:
When a man marries a second time, is it obligatory upon him to equally fulfill conjugal relations (sexual intimacy) between both wives when dividing nights?
And if at some point he is not inclined to have intercourse with one wife during her turn, will that be considered sinful?
❖ Answer:
When a man enters into a second marriage, it becomes obligatory upon him to maintain justice and fairness in material matters between both wives—such as:
Residence
Food
Clothing
Division of nights (turns for overnight stay)
If he fails to uphold justice in these areas, he will be held accountable on the Day of Judgement.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
"If a man has two wives and he is unjust between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with one side of his body paralyzed."
Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, Bāb Mā Jā’a fī al-Taswiyah bayna al-Ḍarā’ir (1141); Abū Dāwūd (2133); Ibn Mājah (1971); al-Ḥākim (2/186, Ḥadīth 2759)✿ What Is Required in Justice?
This applies to matters that are within a man's capacity—such as the equitable allocation of time, resources, and presence.
But what is beyond human control, like:
- ❤ Inclination of the heart
Emotional affection
Desire and intimacy
—are not subject to accountability.
Imām al-Khaṭṭābī رحمه الله writes in Maʿālim al-Sunan (3/218–219):
“This ḥadīth emphasizes fair division between co-wives in matters like time and presence. A deficiency in conjugal interaction (intimacy) is disliked but not sinful.
If the heart naturally inclines to one over the other, it is not blameworthy, because the heart is beyond one’s control.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ would treat all wives equally in worldly matters and say:
‘O Allah, this is my division in what I control, so do not hold me accountable for what You control and I do not.’”
✿ Quranic Guidance:
﴿وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ﴾
“And you will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if you desire it, so do not incline completely [to one] and leave the other hanging.”
Sūrah al-Nisā’: 129Imām Ibn Kathīr رحمه الله explains in his Tafsīr (2/392):
“O people! You are not capable of maintaining absolute equality in all aspects between your wives.
Even though nights can be divided equally, there will inevitably be differences in love, desire, and intimacy.”
✿ Key Scholarly References:
- Imām al-Bukhārī رحمه الله referenced this verse in Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī under the chapter “Justice Between Wives”, indicating that justice must be practiced according to one’s ability.
- ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿAbbās رضي الله عنهما interpreted ﴿وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا﴾ as referring to love and sexual relations.
- The same interpretation is reported from ʿUbaydah ibn Samrah al-Sulaymānī.
Fatḥ al-Bārī (9/313), al-Bayhaqī (7/298, Ḥadīth 11712)
Summary of Ruling:
- ✔ Justice is required in material matters (e.g., food, housing, nights).
Perfect equality in emotional attachment and physical desire is not required, as it is beyond human control.- If, during a wife’s night, a man is not physically inclined to have intercourse, he is not sinful.
- ✔ He is still required to spend the night with her in fulfillment of her turn.
- If illness or genuine inability prevents him from visiting the other wife during her turn, there is no sin upon him.
This is based on the Prophet ﷺ’s own example: During his final illness, he remained with Sayyidah ʿĀ’ishah رضي الله عنها and sought permission from his other wives to do so.
