Obeying Parents in the Matter of Divorce: An Analytical Perspective from the Sunnah 
Written by: Imran Ayub Lahori❖ The Incident of Ibn ʿUmar (رضي الله عنهما)
Narrated from ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿUmar (رضي الله عنهما):
“I had a wife whom I deeply loved, but my father (ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb رضي الله عنه) disliked her and instructed me to divorce her. I refused. Then I mentioned this to the Prophet ﷺ, and he said:
"O ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿUmar, divorce your wife."
[Ḥasan: Sunan al-Tirmidhī: 1189, 950; Ibn Mājah: 2088; Abū Dāwūd: 5138; Musnad Aḥmad: 2/20; Ibn Ḥibbān: 426]
Imām al-Ḥākim and Imām al-Dhahabī also authenticated it.
❖ Scholarly Explanation
◈ ʿAbd al-Raḥmān al-Mubārakpūrī (رحمه الله):
This ḥadīth clearly proves that if a father commands his son to divorce his wife, it becomes obligatory, even if the son loves her deeply.
He extends this ruling to the mother as well, considering her rank higher than the father.
[Tuḥfat al-Aḥwadhī: 4/412]◈ Imām al-Shawkānī (رحمه الله):
He supports the same position.
[Nayl al-Awṭār: 4/313]❖ The Correct (Rājih) Opinion: Context Matters
Parents may command divorce under two circumstances:
➊ With Valid Sharʿī Reason:
If the parent provides a legitimate religious justification—such as:
– The wife’s poor moral character,
– Involvement in inappropriate social circles,
– Inappropriate conduct with non-maḥrams,
Then it becomes obligatory for the son to obey and issue divorce.
➋ Without a Valid Sharʿī Reason:
If the father commands divorce without any sound Islamic reason, such as:
– Jealousy of the son’s love for his wife,
– Feeling neglected by the son,
– Or emotional bias,
Then obeying such a command is not obligatory, especially if:
– The wife is righteous and morally upright,
– The relationship is based on mutual respect and piety.
❖ Fatwā of Shaykh Ibn ʿUthaymīn (رحمه الله)
Shaykh Ibn ʿUthaymīn issued a fatwā supporting the conditional obedience:
One should only obey parents in divorce if the reason is Sharʿī.
[Fatāwā al-Marʾah al-Muslimah: 2/756]❖ Clarification by Imām Aḥmad (رحمه الله)
A man once told Imām Aḥmad that his father commanded him to divorce his wife. Imām Aḥmad said:
"Do not divorce her."
The man asked:
"Did not the Prophet ﷺ instruct Ibn ʿUmar to divorce his wife at ʿUmar’s request?"
Imām Aḥmad replied:
"Is your father like ʿUmar (رضي الله عنه)?"
[Refer also to Musnad Aḥmad: 2/42]This implies that ʿUmar’s status and wisdom in issuing such a command were exceptional and not applicable to all fathers.
❖ The Wisdom Behind ʿUmar’s (رضي الله عنه) Command
Imām Aḥmad ʿAbd al-Raḥmān al-Bannā comments:
"ʿUmar disliked the woman for a valid reason, believing she was unsuitable for his son. He surely acted with foresight and wisdom—especially as someone inspired by divine intuition (ilhām)."
[al-Fatḥ al-Rabbānī: 4/17]❖ Parable from the Life of Prophet Ibrāhīm (عليه السلام)
As narrated in Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī (3364),
Ibrāhīm (عليه السلام) advised his son Ismāʿīl (عليه السلام) to “change the threshold of his door”, a metaphor instructing him to divorce his wife.
Why?
Because she was ungrateful and lacked spiritual chara
