Source: Sharh Kitab al-Jami‘ from Bulugh al-Maram by Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani
Translation: Hafiz ‘Abd al-Salam bin Muhammad Bhutvi
Hadith Reference:
وعن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم: لا تمار اخاك ولا تمازحه ولا تعده موعدا فتخلفه [اخرجه الترمذي بسند ضعيف.]
Narrated by Ibn ʿAbbas (رضي الله عنهما): The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“Do not argue with your brother, do not joke with him, and do not make a promise to him only to break it.”
(This Hadith is reported by al-Tirmidhi with a weak chain of narration.)
Authentication and Grading of the Hadith:
Classification: Weak
Al-Tirmidhi [1995] narrated it and stated: “This Hadith is Hasan Ghareeb; we know it only through this chain.”
Al-Albani graded it weak in Da‘if al-Tirmidhi [341] and Da‘if al-Jami‘ [6274].
Linguistic Notes:
① What is the status of this Hadith’s chain?
This Hadith has a weak chain, because one of its narrators is Layth ibn Abi Sulaym. It is stated in Taqrib:
“Truthful, but his memory deteriorated in old age, and his narrations became indistinguishable, so he was abandoned.”
② Why did al-Tirmidhi declare it Hasan Ghareeb?
He called it Ghareeb because it has only one chain of transmission. Despite the weakness of the narrator, he called it Hasan due to the fact that its meaning is supported by other verses and Hadiths.
③ Is it permissible to report a weak Hadith?
Reporting a weak Hadith is not permissible, unless it is clearly mentioned that the Hadith is weak—just as the author has clarified here.
Knowledge of a Hadith’s weakness is itself a form of valuable knowledge, so that people can avoid relying on it. If the Hadith is supported by other stronger Hadiths or by the Qur’an, it may be cited for reinforcement, but the weakness must always be made clear. The argument should be made based on the overall meaning, not on a specific word or phrase from a weak Hadith.
The prohibited type of disputation (مراء) is when one continuously objects to another person’s words without necessity, with the intention of humiliating or overpowering them.
Imam al-San‘ani said in Subul al-Salam:
“The goal is to belittle the other and show superiority.”
The condemnation of unnecessary disputes is found in authentic Hadiths. The Prophet ﷺ said:
إن أبغض الرجال إلى الله الألد الخصم
[Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-ʿIlm 2]
“The most hateful of men to Allah is the one who is obstinate and quarrelsome.”
Allah also criticized the disbelievers by saying:
مَا ضَرَبُوهُ لَكَ إِلَّا جَدَلًا ۚ بَلْ هُمْ قَوْمٌ خَصِمُونَ
[Az-Zukhruf: 58]
“They do not cite him (the son of Mary) to you except for argument. But they are a quarrelsome people.”
Not every dispute is prohibited. If the purpose is to seek truth or clarify the truth through evidence, and if done with good conduct, it is permissible and even required. Allah says:
وَجَادِلْهُم بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ
[An-Nahl: 125]
“And argue with them in a way that is best.”
Such debates and discussions, when done respectfully, are part of the Prophetic tradition.
For instance, Prophet Ibrahim (عليه السلام) debated and refuted the claims of Nimrod, and disproved the worshippers of stars, the moon, and the sun with the argument "لَا أُحِبُّ الْآفِلِينَ".
He addressed idol-worshippers, telling them: “Ask their biggest idol. He did this.” — prompting them to reflect on their own fault.
Even when debating the People of the Book, Allah commanded:
وَلَا تُجَادِلُوا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ إِلَّا بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ
[Al-ʿAnkabut: 46]
“Do not argue with the People of the Book except in a way that is best.”
So when dealing with fellow Muslims, we must adopt an even better approach.
The kind of joking that is prohibited is that which involves mockery, humiliation, or disrespect towards a Muslim brother.
Such jokes often stem from arrogance, self-conceit, and the desire to show superiority. They lead to resentment and hatred in hearts.
Allah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ...
[Al-Ḥujurat: 11]
“O you who believe, let not a people mock another people—it may be that they are better than them. Nor should women mock other women—it may be that they are better than them.”
Joking is permissible when it is light-hearted, free of falsehood, and does not affect the dignity of the one being joked with.
If the person being joked with also enjoys the jest and is not offended, such jokes are allowed and were part of the Prophet’s ﷺ character.
However, great wisdom and sensitivity are required so that no one is hurt. As the poet says:
Be ever mindful of the feelings of friends,
Lest crystal hearts be cracked with careless words.
Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه) narrated: People said, “O Messenger of Allah! You joke with us.”
He replied:
إني لا أقول إلا حقا
[Sahih al-Tirmidhi 1621]
“I only say what is true.”
Books of Hadith contain many instances of the Prophet’s ﷺ good-natured humor.
One example: A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and requested a mount. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“We will give you the offspring of a she-camel.”
The man said, “What use is a young she-camel to me?”
The Prophet ﷺ replied:
“Are camels born from anything but she-camels?”
[Sunan Abi Dawud – Bab: What is Reported About Joking]
Also see Sahih Abi Dawud 4998
For a detailed discussion on breaking promises, refer to the Hadith in this chapter: (1400/6)
Translation: Hafiz ‘Abd al-Salam bin Muhammad Bhutvi
Hadith Reference:وعن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم: لا تمار اخاك ولا تمازحه ولا تعده موعدا فتخلفه [اخرجه الترمذي بسند ضعيف.]
Narrated by Ibn ʿAbbas (رضي الله عنهما): The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“Do not argue with your brother, do not joke with him, and do not make a promise to him only to break it.”
(This Hadith is reported by al-Tirmidhi with a weak chain of narration.)
Authentication and Grading of the Hadith:Classification: Weak
Al-Tirmidhi [1995] narrated it and stated: “This Hadith is Hasan Ghareeb; we know it only through this chain.”
Al-Albani graded it weak in Da‘if al-Tirmidhi [341] and Da‘if al-Jami‘ [6274].
Linguistic Notes:- لَا تُمارِ: From the root “م ر ي”, in the form of Mufaʿala, it means: "Do not argue".
- فَتُخْلِفَه: A present-tense verb in the form of If‘al, and it is in the subjunctive case here because it is preceded by a particle of prohibition (نهي) and followed by فـ indicating consequence. The particle "أن" is understood to be implied after the فـ.
✦ Key Benefits and Lessons:
① What is the status of this Hadith’s chain?
This Hadith has a weak chain, because one of its narrators is Layth ibn Abi Sulaym. It is stated in Taqrib:
“Truthful, but his memory deteriorated in old age, and his narrations became indistinguishable, so he was abandoned.”
② Why did al-Tirmidhi declare it Hasan Ghareeb?
He called it Ghareeb because it has only one chain of transmission. Despite the weakness of the narrator, he called it Hasan due to the fact that its meaning is supported by other verses and Hadiths.
③ Is it permissible to report a weak Hadith?
Reporting a weak Hadith is not permissible, unless it is clearly mentioned that the Hadith is weak—just as the author has clarified here.
Knowledge of a Hadith’s weakness is itself a form of valuable knowledge, so that people can avoid relying on it. If the Hadith is supported by other stronger Hadiths or by the Qur’an, it may be cited for reinforcement, but the weakness must always be made clear. The argument should be made based on the overall meaning, not on a specific word or phrase from a weak Hadith.
✦ Prohibition of Arguing with Muslims
The prohibited type of disputation (مراء) is when one continuously objects to another person’s words without necessity, with the intention of humiliating or overpowering them.
Imam al-San‘ani said in Subul al-Salam:
“The goal is to belittle the other and show superiority.”
The condemnation of unnecessary disputes is found in authentic Hadiths. The Prophet ﷺ said:
إن أبغض الرجال إلى الله الألد الخصم
[Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-ʿIlm 2]
“The most hateful of men to Allah is the one who is obstinate and quarrelsome.”
Allah also criticized the disbelievers by saying:
مَا ضَرَبُوهُ لَكَ إِلَّا جَدَلًا ۚ بَلْ هُمْ قَوْمٌ خَصِمُونَ
[Az-Zukhruf: 58]
“They do not cite him (the son of Mary) to you except for argument. But they are a quarrelsome people.”
✦ Is All Disputation Prohibited?
Not every dispute is prohibited. If the purpose is to seek truth or clarify the truth through evidence, and if done with good conduct, it is permissible and even required. Allah says:
وَجَادِلْهُم بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ
[An-Nahl: 125]
“And argue with them in a way that is best.”
Such debates and discussions, when done respectfully, are part of the Prophetic tradition.
For instance, Prophet Ibrahim (عليه السلام) debated and refuted the claims of Nimrod, and disproved the worshippers of stars, the moon, and the sun with the argument "لَا أُحِبُّ الْآفِلِينَ".
He addressed idol-worshippers, telling them: “Ask their biggest idol. He did this.” — prompting them to reflect on their own fault.
Even when debating the People of the Book, Allah commanded:
وَلَا تُجَادِلُوا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ إِلَّا بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ
[Al-ʿAnkabut: 46]
“Do not argue with the People of the Book except in a way that is best.”
So when dealing with fellow Muslims, we must adopt an even better approach.
✦ What Type of Joking is Prohibited?
The kind of joking that is prohibited is that which involves mockery, humiliation, or disrespect towards a Muslim brother.
Such jokes often stem from arrogance, self-conceit, and the desire to show superiority. They lead to resentment and hatred in hearts.
Allah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ...
[Al-Ḥujurat: 11]
“O you who believe, let not a people mock another people—it may be that they are better than them. Nor should women mock other women—it may be that they are better than them.”
✦ What Type of Joking is Permissible?
Joking is permissible when it is light-hearted, free of falsehood, and does not affect the dignity of the one being joked with.
If the person being joked with also enjoys the jest and is not offended, such jokes are allowed and were part of the Prophet’s ﷺ character.
However, great wisdom and sensitivity are required so that no one is hurt. As the poet says:
Be ever mindful of the feelings of friends,
Lest crystal hearts be cracked with careless words.
Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه) narrated: People said, “O Messenger of Allah! You joke with us.”
He replied:
إني لا أقول إلا حقا
[Sahih al-Tirmidhi 1621]
“I only say what is true.”
Books of Hadith contain many instances of the Prophet’s ﷺ good-natured humor.
One example: A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and requested a mount. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“We will give you the offspring of a she-camel.”
The man said, “What use is a young she-camel to me?”
The Prophet ﷺ replied:
“Are camels born from anything but she-camels?”
[Sunan Abi Dawud – Bab: What is Reported About Joking]
Also see Sahih Abi Dawud 4998
✦ Breaking Promises:
For a detailed discussion on breaking promises, refer to the Hadith in this chapter: (1400/6)
