Authored by: Imran Ayub Lahori❖ Introduction
In Islam, when choosing a woman for marriage, certain qualities are recommended that ensure the success of married life. The ideal woman should be:
➊ Loving
➋ Fertile
➌ Virgin
➍ Beautiful
➎ Noble in lineage
➏ Religious
➐ Wealthy
If all these qualities are combined, it is ideal. However, religious commitment alone is sufficient if other traits are lacking.
❖ ① Wadūdah — Loving and Affectionate
The word "wadūdah" refers to a woman who shows deep affection to her husband. She should possess:
- Praiseworthy character
- Good habits
- Noble temperament
- Exclusive love for her husband
A marriage based on mutual love leads to a harmonious and pleasant home life. This is possible only if the woman loves her husband and has no emotional inclination toward others.
❖ ② Walūdah — Fertile and Child-Bearing
The Prophet ﷺ encouraged marrying women who can bear many children. Fertility can often be judged by examining the woman’s family background.
“Marry loving and fertile women, for I will boast of your numbers before other nations on the Day of Judgment.”
(Ṣaḥīḥ — Irwā’ al-Ghalīl: 1784; Aḥmad: 3/158; Ḥilyat al-Awliyā’: 4/219; Ṭabarānī in al-Awsaṭ via al-Majmaʿ: 2235; Ibn Ḥibbān: 4028; Bayhaqī: 7/81)
❖ ③ Virginity
The Prophet ﷺ asked Jābir رضي الله عنه whether he had married a virgin or a widow. He replied that he married a widow. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Why didn’t you marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you?”
(Bukhārī: 2097; Muslim: 715; Abū Dāwūd: 3505; Tirmidhī: 1100; Nasā’ī: 6/65; Aḥmad: 3/308)
Virginity is preferred because it strengthens emotional bonding and increases marital joy.
❖ ④ Beauty
Beauty is preferred because:
- Human nature inclines toward it
- It increases love and affection between spouses
- A man is content with his wife and not tempted by others
❖ ⑤ Noble Lineage (Nasab)
This refers to a woman who possesses honor and dignity due to her family and ancestry. Marrying such a woman can elevate a man's social and familial respect.
❖ ⑥ Religious Commitment
The woman should be:
- Devout in religion
- Obedient to Allah
- Guarded from sins
- Observant of Shar‘ī commands
Such a woman contributes to success in both this world and the hereafter.
❖ ⑦ Wealth
If a woman is wealthy, her husband may treat her kindly out of affection or benefit, and their children may also prosper from her wealth.
❖ Priority of Religion
Even if all other traits are missing, religion alone is sufficient for marriage.
Narrated by Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه, the Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman is married for four reasons:
➀ Her wealth
➁ Her lineage
➂ Her beauty
➃ Her religion
So marry the one who is religious, may your hands be dusted (i.e., you will be successful).”
(Bukhārī: 5090; Muslim: 1466; Aḥmad: 2/428; Dārimī: 2/133; Abū Dāwūd: 2047; Ibn Mājah: 1858; Abū Yaʿlā: 6578; Ḥilyah: 8/383; Dāraqutnī: 3/302)
The narration that states:"Even if she is a dark-skinned slave woman, marry for her religion" — is weak.
(Ḍaʿīf Ibn Mājah: 409; al-Ḍaʿīfah: 1060; Ḍaʿīf al-Jāmiʿ: 6216)
❖ Additional Guidance: Household Capability
Along with religiosity, a woman’s capability in managing household affairs is also essential.
Narrated by Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه, the Prophet ﷺ said:
“The best women among the Quraysh are those who are righteous, deeply loving to their children, and excellent guardians of their husband's wealth.”
(Bukhārī: 5082; Kitāb al-Nikāḥ: Chapter on Whom to Marry and Which Women Are Best)
Conclusion:
When choosing a wife, give preference to a woman who is religious, loving, fertile, virtuous, and good in character.
If all ideal traits are not found, choose religiosity above all else — this will lead to barakah in both the marriage and the afterlife.
