✦ Harms of Forced Marriage in Islam and the Guiding Role of Parents ✦
Written by: Qari Usama bin Abdus Salam (Hafizahullah)
Islam is a comprehensive way of life that emphasizes justice, love, and mutual consent in every aspect of human interaction. Nikah (marriage) is one of the most critical matters in life, and Islam not only acknowledges the role of parental guidance, but also places paramount importance on individual consent. Based on the teachings of the Qur'an and Hadith, the concept of forced marriage is unacceptable and falls under the category of oppression (ẓulm).
The Qur’an refers to Nikah as a solemn and strong covenant (mithāqan ghalīẓan):
"وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا"
(Surah An-Nisa 4:21)
“And We took from you a firm covenant.”
This verse clearly indicates that marriage is a serious and sacred bond, which must be founded on the mutual consent of both parties.
Islam has forbidden all forms of oppression, and forced marriage is included under this prohibition:
"وَلَا تَظْلِمُونَ وَلَا تُظْلَمُونَ"
(Al-Baqarah 2:279)
“Do not oppress, and do not be oppressed.”
Narrated by Abu Hurairah (RA), the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
"لَا تُنْكَحُ الْأَيِّمُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْمَرَ، وَلَا تُنْكَحُ الْبِكْرُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْذَنَ"
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5136)
Translation: A previously married woman should not be married without seeking her approval, and a virgin girl should not be married without obtaining her permission.
Khansa bint Khidham (RA) complained to the Prophet ﷺ that her father had married her off without her consent. The Prophet ﷺ annulled her marriage.
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5138)
This action sets a clear precedent that Islam does not accept a marriage in which consent is absent.
Islam recognizes the importance of parental involvement in life decisions. Parents are entitled to provide guidance and advice, but not allowed to enforce their will.
Parents must:
◈ Understand their children’s preferences.
◈ Respect their feelings and emotions.
◈ Prioritize their children's willingness when searching for a potential spouse.
In Islam, all types of oppression are strictly prohibited, and forced marriage is also a form of injustice, as it violates the principles of personal freedom and fairness in Islam.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"اتَّقُوا الظُّلْمَ فَإِنَّ الظُّلْمَ ظُلُمَاتٌ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ"
(Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 2579)
“Beware of oppression, for oppression will be layers of darkness on the Day of Judgment.”
Parents are obligated to deal with their daughters with justice and love. Ignoring their consent in marriage and forcing them into relationships is a grave injustice, which brings upon severe warnings from Allah ﷻ.
"وَلِلظَّالِمِينَ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ"
(Ibrahim 14:22)
“And for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment.”
✔ Nikah in Islam is a serious and sacred agreement that cannot be valid without consent.
✔ Forced marriage is un-Islamic and falls under the category of oppression.
✔ Parents must respect their children's choices and provide them with sincere guidance without compulsion.
✔ Those who enforce marriage by force have been warned of severe punishment in the Hereafter.
✔ Therefore, it is essential for parents to value their daughters’ opinions, ensuring the marriage is conducted in accordance with Islamic teachings and mutual happiness.
Written by: Qari Usama bin Abdus Salam (Hafizahullah)
❖ The Significance of Consent in Marriage According to Islam
Islam is a comprehensive way of life that emphasizes justice, love, and mutual consent in every aspect of human interaction. Nikah (marriage) is one of the most critical matters in life, and Islam not only acknowledges the role of parental guidance, but also places paramount importance on individual consent. Based on the teachings of the Qur'an and Hadith, the concept of forced marriage is unacceptable and falls under the category of oppression (ẓulm).
① Qur'anic Principles Regarding Marriage
✔ The Importance of Consent
The Qur’an refers to Nikah as a solemn and strong covenant (mithāqan ghalīẓan):
"وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا"
(Surah An-Nisa 4:21)
“And We took from you a firm covenant.”
This verse clearly indicates that marriage is a serious and sacred bond, which must be founded on the mutual consent of both parties.
✔ The Prohibition of Coercion
Islam has forbidden all forms of oppression, and forced marriage is included under this prohibition:
"وَلَا تَظْلِمُونَ وَلَا تُظْلَمُونَ"
(Al-Baqarah 2:279)
“Do not oppress, and do not be oppressed.”
② Hadith on Consent in Marriage
✔ The Girl’s Consent is Mandatory
Narrated by Abu Hurairah (RA), the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
"لَا تُنْكَحُ الْأَيِّمُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْمَرَ، وَلَا تُنْكَحُ الْبِكْرُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْذَنَ"
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5136)
Translation: A previously married woman should not be married without seeking her approval, and a virgin girl should not be married without obtaining her permission.
✔ Annulment of Forced Marriage
Khansa bint Khidham (RA) complained to the Prophet ﷺ that her father had married her off without her consent. The Prophet ﷺ annulled her marriage.
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5138)
This action sets a clear precedent that Islam does not accept a marriage in which consent is absent.
③ Parental Responsibility and Guidance
Islam recognizes the importance of parental involvement in life decisions. Parents are entitled to provide guidance and advice, but not allowed to enforce their will.
Parents must:
◈ Understand their children’s preferences.
◈ Respect their feelings and emotions.
◈ Prioritize their children's willingness when searching for a potential spouse.
④ Forced Marriage: A Form of Oppression
In Islam, all types of oppression are strictly prohibited, and forced marriage is also a form of injustice, as it violates the principles of personal freedom and fairness in Islam.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"اتَّقُوا الظُّلْمَ فَإِنَّ الظُّلْمَ ظُلُمَاتٌ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ"
(Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 2579)
“Beware of oppression, for oppression will be layers of darkness on the Day of Judgment.”
⑤ Justice and Love: Parental Duties
Parents are obligated to deal with their daughters with justice and love. Ignoring their consent in marriage and forcing them into relationships is a grave injustice, which brings upon severe warnings from Allah ﷻ.
"وَلِلظَّالِمِينَ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ"
(Ibrahim 14:22)
“And for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment.”
❖ Summary ❖
✔ Nikah in Islam is a serious and sacred agreement that cannot be valid without consent.
✔ Forced marriage is un-Islamic and falls under the category of oppression.
✔ Parents must respect their children's choices and provide them with sincere guidance without compulsion.
✔ Those who enforce marriage by force have been warned of severe punishment in the Hereafter.
✔ Therefore, it is essential for parents to value their daughters’ opinions, ensuring the marriage is conducted in accordance with Islamic teachings and mutual happiness.
