❖ Excessive Dowry (Mahr) Is Discouraged in Islam
By: Imran Ayub Lahori
✿ Introduction
While Islam encourages giving mahr as a gift and right to the bride, it also discourages making it burdensome or extravagant. The Sunnah promotes moderation and ease in dowry to facilitate marriage and avoid undue hardship.
✿ Prophetic Sayings on Simplicity in Mahr
➊ Ḥaḍrat ʿUqbah bin ʿĀmir (RA) narrated:
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
"The best mahr is the one that is easiest to give."
[Sahih: Sahih Abu Dawood: 1859; Irwāʾ al-Ghalīl: 1924; Abu Dawood: 2117]
→ This Hadith emphasizes simplicity and affordability in mahr.
➋ Another Hadith from Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim states:
The Prophet ﷺ asked a man how much mahr he gave to his wife. He replied:
“Four uqiyah (160 dirhams).”
The Prophet ﷺ responded:
“Four uqiyah?! As though you are carving silver out of the side of a mountain! We have nothing to give you.”
[Muslim: 1424]
→ The response indicates disapproval of unnecessary extravagance, especially when one’s means do not support it.
✿ Statement of ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb (RA)
➌ Ḥaḍrat ʿUmar (RA) said:
“Do not exaggerate in the dowries of women. If it were a means of worldly honor or piety before Allah, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ would have been most entitled to it.”
[Sahih: Irwāʾ al-Ghalīl: 1927; Abu Dawood: 2106; Nasa’i: 3349; Tirmidhi: 1114; Ibn Hibban: 1259; Darimi: 2/141; Hakim: 2/175; Bayhaqi: 7/234]
→ This powerful advice from the second Caliph further affirms that extravagant mahr is neither a virtue nor a mark of status.
✿ Scholarly Opinion:
Ibn Qudāmah (رحمه الله) stated:
"It is better that the mahr not be overly expensive."
[Al-Mughnī: 10/101]
✿ Clarification from Qur’an and Sunnah
Though simplicity is preferred, giving a large mahr is permissible if done within one’s means, without burden or showing off.
➤ Allah ﷻ says:
“Even if you gave one of them a qinṭār (large treasure), do not take it back.”
[Surah An-Nisāʾ: 20]
→ This indicates permission to give a large mahr, provided it is done willingly.
➤ A Hadith reports:
“The Negus (King of Abyssinia) gave Umm Ḥabībah (RA) a mahr of 4,000 dirhams on behalf of the Prophet ﷺ, and the Prophet ﷺ accepted it.”
[Sahih: Sahih Abu Dawood: 1853; Abu Dawood: 2107]
→ The Prophet ﷺ’s acceptance of this generous mahr proves that excess is not prohibited, but it should be based on affordability and sincerity, not ostentation.
Conclusion
While it is disliked (makrūh) to set an excessive mahr that burdens the groom or turns marriage into a financial transaction, there is no sin in giving a large mahr if it is done according to one’s means. The ideal is to follow the Prophetic example of moderation, promoting ease in marriage and preserving its sacredness.
