❀ Enduring a Husband’s Harshness and Ingratitude: A Call to Patience ❀
Source:
This article is derived from the book “500 Questions and Answers for Women” based on the fatwas of the scholars of the Haramain, translated by Hafiz Abdullah Saleem.
I have been married for twenty-five years and have several children. Despite this, I face many hardships from my husband. He often humiliates me in front of our children, relatives, and even strangers without cause. He has never shown me any appreciation. I only feel peace when he is away from home. It is worth noting, however, that he does pray and fears Allah. I seek your guidance towards the path of safety and well-being.
Jazākum Allāhu Khayran
My dear sister, remain steadfast and patient. Advise your husband in a kind and gentle manner. Remind him of Allah and the Day of Judgment, perhaps he may reflect and turn back from his bad conduct and embrace righteousness.
If he continues with his wrongful behavior and persists in his harshness, then he bears the burden of sin, and you will be rewarded for your patience and perseverance.
✔ Supplicate regularly during prayer and in other times, asking Allah to:
✔ Continue to examine yourself and remain firm upon the religion.
If there is any shortcoming from your side regarding the rights of Allah or your husband, then repent sincerely before Allah.
Perhaps your current hardship is due to a sin, for Allah has said:
﴿وَمَا أَصَابَكُمْ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُو عَنْ كَثِيرٍ﴾
[Surah Ash-Shūrā: 30]
“And whatever calamity befalls you, it is because of what your own hands have earned—and He pardons much.”
There is no harm in discussing the matter with his father, elder brothers, relatives, or trusted neighbors—people whom he respects—so they may counsel him and encourage him towards good treatment and proper conduct.
As Allah commands:
﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾
[Surah An-Nisā’: 19]
“And live with them (your wives) in kindness.”
And He also says:
﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ﴾
[Surah Al-Baqarah: 228]
“And women have rights similar to those upon them in a just manner, and men have a degree over them.”
May Allah rectify your situation and your husband’s,
May He grant your husband guidance and righteousness,
And may He unite both of you upon goodness and piety, for He is the Most Generous.
(By: Former Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Ibn Bāz رحمه الله)
Source:
This article is derived from the book “500 Questions and Answers for Women” based on the fatwas of the scholars of the Haramain, translated by Hafiz Abdullah Saleem.
❖ Question:
I have been married for twenty-five years and have several children. Despite this, I face many hardships from my husband. He often humiliates me in front of our children, relatives, and even strangers without cause. He has never shown me any appreciation. I only feel peace when he is away from home. It is worth noting, however, that he does pray and fears Allah. I seek your guidance towards the path of safety and well-being.
Jazākum Allāhu Khayran
❖ Answer:
My dear sister, remain steadfast and patient. Advise your husband in a kind and gentle manner. Remind him of Allah and the Day of Judgment, perhaps he may reflect and turn back from his bad conduct and embrace righteousness.
If he continues with his wrongful behavior and persists in his harshness, then he bears the burden of sin, and you will be rewarded for your patience and perseverance.
❖ What Should You Do?
✔ Supplicate regularly during prayer and in other times, asking Allah to:
- Guide your husband to the straight path
- Grant him noble character
- Protect you from his harm and from the harm of others
✔ Continue to examine yourself and remain firm upon the religion.
If there is any shortcoming from your side regarding the rights of Allah or your husband, then repent sincerely before Allah.
Perhaps your current hardship is due to a sin, for Allah has said:
﴿وَمَا أَصَابَكُمْ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُو عَنْ كَثِيرٍ﴾
[Surah Ash-Shūrā: 30]
“And whatever calamity befalls you, it is because of what your own hands have earned—and He pardons much.”
❖ Additional Practical Steps:
There is no harm in discussing the matter with his father, elder brothers, relatives, or trusted neighbors—people whom he respects—so they may counsel him and encourage him towards good treatment and proper conduct.
As Allah commands:
﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾
[Surah An-Nisā’: 19]
“And live with them (your wives) in kindness.”
And He also says:
﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ﴾
[Surah Al-Baqarah: 228]
“And women have rights similar to those upon them in a just manner, and men have a degree over them.”
❖ Final Supplication:
May Allah rectify your situation and your husband’s,
May He grant your husband guidance and righteousness,
And may He unite both of you upon goodness and piety, for He is the Most Generous.
(By: Former Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Ibn Bāz رحمه الله)
