Source: Fatāwā Amunpūrī by Shaykh Ghulām Muṣṭafā Ẓahīr Amunpūrī
From birth until adulthood, there are stages in which a human being is almost a helpless structure, requiring complete and focused attention and step-by-step guidance. The responsibility of upbringing—fulfilling physical, intellectual, and religious needs—has been placed upon the parents. However, at times, adverse circumstances force separation between the parents.
In such a situation, who will bear the responsibility of a child who needs nurturing and whose parents’ dispute is no fault of his own? Islam has not restricted this right exclusively to either the mother or the father. Rather, it assesses capability—who among them can properly raise the child and fulfill his religious, spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs. If the mother possesses this capability, the child will remain with her; if the father possesses it, the child will be placed under his care. In Arabic, this is termed ḥaḍānah (حضانة).
فِي الشَّرْعِ حِفْظُ مَنْ لَا يَسْتَقِلُّ بِأَمْرِهِ وَتَرْبِيَتِهِ وَوِقَايَتِهِ عَمَّا يُهْلِكُهُ أَوْ يَضُرُّهُ
“In Islamic terminology, ḥaḍānah means safeguarding one who is not independent in his affairs, nurturing him, and protecting him from that which may destroy or harm him.”
إِنَّ امْرَأَةً قَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، إِنَّ ابْنِي هَذَا كَانَ بَطْنِي لَهُ وِعَاءً، وَثَدْيِي لَهُ سِقَاءً، وَحِجْرِي لَهُ حِوَاءً، وَإِنَّ أَبَاهُ طَلَّقَنِي، وَأَرَادَ أَنْ يَنْتَزِعَهُ مِنِّي، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ: أَنْتِ أَحَقُّ بِهِ مَا لَمْ تَنْكِحِي
“A woman said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! This son of mine—my womb was his vessel, my breast his drink, and my lap his shelter. His father has divorced me and wishes to take him from me.’ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.’”
Imām al-Ḥākim رحمه الله declared it Ṣaḥīḥ al-Isnād, and Ḥāfiẓ al-Dhahabī رحمه الله also declared it Ṣaḥīḥ.
Ḥāfiẓ Ibn al-Mulaqqin رحمه الله likewise graded it Ṣaḥīḥ.
لَمْ يَخْتَلِفُوا أَنَّ الأُمَّ أَحَقُّ بِالْوَلَدِ الطِّفْلِ مِنَ الأَبِ مَا لَمْ تَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِذَا تَزَوَّجَتْ فَلَا حَقَّ لَهَا فِي الْحَضَانَةِ، فَإِنْ كَانَتْ لَهَا أُمٌّ فَأُمُّهَا تَقُومُ مَقَامَهَا، ثُمَّ الْجَدَّاتُ مِنْ قِبَلِ الأُمِّ أَحَقُّ بِهِ مَا بَقِيَتْ مِنْهُنَّ وَاحِدَةٌ
“There is no difference among the scholars that the mother has more right to the young child than the father so long as she does not remarry. If she remarries, she has no right to custody. If she is absent, then the maternal grandmother takes her place, followed by other maternal grandmothers as long as even one of them remains.”
This is an issue of consensus (ijmāʿ).
ʿAllāmah Abū Bakr Ibn al-ʿArabī رحمه الله (d. 543 AH) said:
اتَّفَقَ الْعُلَمَاءُ عَلَى ذَلِكَ
“The scholars have unanimously agreed upon this.”
“I was with Sayyidunā Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه when he said: A woman came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said: ‘May my parents be sacrificed for you! My husband wants to take my son from me, while my son benefits me and brings water for me from the well of Abū ʿInabah.’ Her husband came and said: ‘Who is disputing with me regarding my son?’ The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘O boy! This is your father and this is your mother. Choose whichever you wish.’ The boy took his mother’s hand and left with her.”
Imām al-Tirmidhī graded it Ḥasan Ṣaḥīḥ, Imām al-Ḥākim graded it Ṣaḥīḥ al-Isnād, and Ḥāfiẓ al-Dhahabī declared it Ṣaḥīḥ.
هَذَا فِي الْغُلَامِ الَّذِي قَدْ عَقَلَ وَاسْتَغْنَى عَنِ الْحَضَانَةِ، فَإِذَا كَانَ كَذَلِكَ خُيِّرَ بَيْنَ أَبَوَيْهِ
“This ruling applies to a child who has attained understanding and is no longer in need of care. In such a case, he may be given a choice between his parents.”
Nāṣir al-Sunnah ʿAllāmah al-Albānī رحمه الله said:
“This is not absolute. An exception applies when the child possesses understanding; otherwise, granting choice to a child is inconceivable because he is weak in intellect. Further details can be found in Zād al-Maʿād.”
Preference through choice or drawing lots is based on the child’s best interest. If the mother is more caring and protective than the father, she will be given precedence—without relying on lots or the child’s choice—because the child is immature and inclined toward play and ease. If the child chooses a parent who facilitates frivolity, such a choice is disregarded. Custody is granted to the one who ensures religious benefit and protection.
The Sharīʿah allows this. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Command your children to pray at seven, discipline them at ten, and separate their beds.” Allah Almighty says:
﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ﴾
“O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.”
Ḥasan al-Baṣrī رحمه الله said: “Take care of your children’s education and upbringing.” If the mother enrolls the child in learning and Qur’anic education while the father also fulfills these duties—or vice versa—custody is given accordingly, without drawing lots.
If one parent cannot enforce Allah’s commands while the other can, custody belongs to the one capable. Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله narrated an incident where a judge reversed a child’s choice to the father upon discovering the father allowed play while the mother enforced education—thus ruling for the mother.
Custody is not a hereditary right gained merely through kinship or marriage; rather, it is a responsibility tied to fulfilling obligations, knowledge, and practice. No one who neglects a child’s obligatory rights is entitled to guardianship. If necessary, guardianship is removed or shared to ensure compliance with obligations—because the objective is obedience to Allah and His Messenger to the greatest extent possible.
Scholars agree that no one is absolutely preferred in custody. A rebellious or negligent person cannot be preferred over a righteous, just, and beneficent one.
Question
Who has the right to raise and care for young children?Answer
In human history, the teachings of respect for human dignity presented by Islam have not even crossed the peripheral thought of any other religion, culture, or movement. Islam safeguards five fundamental rights of the children of Ādam: life, wealth, intellect, honor, and faith.From birth until adulthood, there are stages in which a human being is almost a helpless structure, requiring complete and focused attention and step-by-step guidance. The responsibility of upbringing—fulfilling physical, intellectual, and religious needs—has been placed upon the parents. However, at times, adverse circumstances force separation between the parents.
In such a situation, who will bear the responsibility of a child who needs nurturing and whose parents’ dispute is no fault of his own? Islam has not restricted this right exclusively to either the mother or the father. Rather, it assesses capability—who among them can properly raise the child and fulfill his religious, spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs. If the mother possesses this capability, the child will remain with her; if the father possesses it, the child will be placed under his care. In Arabic, this is termed ḥaḍānah (حضانة).
Meaning of Ḥaḍānah
ʿAllāmah al-Ṣanʿānī رحمه الله states:فِي الشَّرْعِ حِفْظُ مَنْ لَا يَسْتَقِلُّ بِأَمْرِهِ وَتَرْبِيَتِهِ وَوِقَايَتِهِ عَمَّا يُهْلِكُهُ أَوْ يَضُرُّهُ
“In Islamic terminology, ḥaḍānah means safeguarding one who is not independent in his affairs, nurturing him, and protecting him from that which may destroy or harm him.”
Reference: Subul al-Salām Sharḥ Bulūgh al-Marām: 2/330
Evidence from the Sunnah
Sayyidunā ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿAmr ibn al-ʿĀṣ رضي الله عنهما narrated:إِنَّ امْرَأَةً قَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، إِنَّ ابْنِي هَذَا كَانَ بَطْنِي لَهُ وِعَاءً، وَثَدْيِي لَهُ سِقَاءً، وَحِجْرِي لَهُ حِوَاءً، وَإِنَّ أَبَاهُ طَلَّقَنِي، وَأَرَادَ أَنْ يَنْتَزِعَهُ مِنِّي، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ: أَنْتِ أَحَقُّ بِهِ مَا لَمْ تَنْكِحِي
“A woman said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! This son of mine—my womb was his vessel, my breast his drink, and my lap his shelter. His father has divorced me and wishes to take him from me.’ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.’”
Reference: Musnad Aḥmad: 2/182; Sunan Abī Dāwūd: 2276; al-Sunan al-Kubrā lil-Bayhaqī: 7/8 – chain ḥasan
Imām al-Ḥākim رحمه الله declared it Ṣaḥīḥ al-Isnād, and Ḥāfiẓ al-Dhahabī رحمه الله also declared it Ṣaḥīḥ.
Ḥāfiẓ Ibn al-Mulaqqin رحمه الله likewise graded it Ṣaḥīḥ.
Reference: al-Badr al-Munīr: 8/317
Scholarly Consensus
ʿAllāmah al-Khaṭṭābī رحمه الله (d. 388 AH) said:لَمْ يَخْتَلِفُوا أَنَّ الأُمَّ أَحَقُّ بِالْوَلَدِ الطِّفْلِ مِنَ الأَبِ مَا لَمْ تَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِذَا تَزَوَّجَتْ فَلَا حَقَّ لَهَا فِي الْحَضَانَةِ، فَإِنْ كَانَتْ لَهَا أُمٌّ فَأُمُّهَا تَقُومُ مَقَامَهَا، ثُمَّ الْجَدَّاتُ مِنْ قِبَلِ الأُمِّ أَحَقُّ بِهِ مَا بَقِيَتْ مِنْهُنَّ وَاحِدَةٌ
“There is no difference among the scholars that the mother has more right to the young child than the father so long as she does not remarry. If she remarries, she has no right to custody. If she is absent, then the maternal grandmother takes her place, followed by other maternal grandmothers as long as even one of them remains.”
Reference: Maʿālim al-Sunan: 3/282
This is an issue of consensus (ijmāʿ).
ʿAllāmah Abū Bakr Ibn al-ʿArabī رحمه الله (d. 543 AH) said:
اتَّفَقَ الْعُلَمَاءُ عَلَى ذَلِكَ
“The scholars have unanimously agreed upon this.”
Reference: al-Masālik Sharḥ Muwaṭṭaʾ Mālik: 6/489; al-Qabas fī Sharḥ Muwaṭṭaʾ Mālik ibn Anas: p. 954
When the Child Can Choose
Abū Maymūnah رحمه الله narrated:“I was with Sayyidunā Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه when he said: A woman came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said: ‘May my parents be sacrificed for you! My husband wants to take my son from me, while my son benefits me and brings water for me from the well of Abū ʿInabah.’ Her husband came and said: ‘Who is disputing with me regarding my son?’ The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘O boy! This is your father and this is your mother. Choose whichever you wish.’ The boy took his mother’s hand and left with her.”
Reference: Sunan al-Nasāʾī: 3496; Musnad Aḥmad: 2/296; Sunan Abī Dāwūd: 2277; Sunan al-Tirmidhī: 1357; Sunan Ibn Mājah: 2351 – chain Ṣaḥīḥ
Imām al-Tirmidhī graded it Ḥasan Ṣaḥīḥ, Imām al-Ḥākim graded it Ṣaḥīḥ al-Isnād, and Ḥāfiẓ al-Dhahabī declared it Ṣaḥīḥ.
Clarification by the Scholars
ʿAllāmah al-Khaṭṭābī رحمه الله said:هَذَا فِي الْغُلَامِ الَّذِي قَدْ عَقَلَ وَاسْتَغْنَى عَنِ الْحَضَانَةِ، فَإِذَا كَانَ كَذَلِكَ خُيِّرَ بَيْنَ أَبَوَيْهِ
“This ruling applies to a child who has attained understanding and is no longer in need of care. In such a case, he may be given a choice between his parents.”
Reference: Maʿālim al-Sunan: 3/283
Nāṣir al-Sunnah ʿAllāmah al-Albānī رحمه الله said:
“This is not absolute. An exception applies when the child possesses understanding; otherwise, granting choice to a child is inconceivable because he is weak in intellect. Further details can be found in Zād al-Maʿād.”
Reference: Ḥāshiyat al-Rawḍah al-Nadiyyah: 2/338
Detailed Principle by Ibn al-Qayyim
ʿAllāmah Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said (summary translated faithfully):Preference through choice or drawing lots is based on the child’s best interest. If the mother is more caring and protective than the father, she will be given precedence—without relying on lots or the child’s choice—because the child is immature and inclined toward play and ease. If the child chooses a parent who facilitates frivolity, such a choice is disregarded. Custody is granted to the one who ensures religious benefit and protection.
The Sharīʿah allows this. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Command your children to pray at seven, discipline them at ten, and separate their beds.” Allah Almighty says:
﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ﴾
“O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.”
Reference: Sūrat al-Taḥrīm: 6
Ḥasan al-Baṣrī رحمه الله said: “Take care of your children’s education and upbringing.” If the mother enrolls the child in learning and Qur’anic education while the father also fulfills these duties—or vice versa—custody is given accordingly, without drawing lots.
If one parent cannot enforce Allah’s commands while the other can, custody belongs to the one capable. Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله narrated an incident where a judge reversed a child’s choice to the father upon discovering the father allowed play while the mother enforced education—thus ruling for the mother.
Custody is not a hereditary right gained merely through kinship or marriage; rather, it is a responsibility tied to fulfilling obligations, knowledge, and practice. No one who neglects a child’s obligatory rights is entitled to guardianship. If necessary, guardianship is removed or shared to ensure compliance with obligations—because the objective is obedience to Allah and His Messenger to the greatest extent possible.
Scholars agree that no one is absolutely preferred in custody. A rebellious or negligent person cannot be preferred over a righteous, just, and beneficent one.
Reference: Zād al-Maʿād fī Hady Khayr al-ʿIbād: 4/475
