Source: Fatāwā ʿIlmiyyah, Vol. 3 – Issues Related to Funeral Prayer, p. 136Question
If a close relative or family member passes away in Pakistan, we in England sit for three days to receive condolences, during which relatives send food. Is this practice correct according to Sharīʿah? Please explain in the light of the Qurʾān and Ḥadīth.
(Muhammad Fayāḍ Dāmanwī, Bradford, England)
Answer
Al-ḥamdu lillāh, waṣ-ṣalātu wa-s-salāmu ʿalā Rasūlillāh. Ammā baʿd:
The Prophet ﷺ’s Method of Expressing Grief
ʿĀʾishah رضي الله عنها narrated:
“When the news of the martyrdom of Zayd ibn Ḥārithah, Jaʿfar, and ʿAbdullāh ibn Rawāḥah رضي الله عنهم reached, the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ sat down, and signs of grief were visible on his face.”
(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 1299, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 935, Dārussalām no. 2161)
From this Ḥadīth, it is understood that it is permissible for the bereaved to sit in grief for up to three days, as was the practice of the Prophet ﷺ.
Prohibition of Mourning Beyond Three Days
When Jaʿfar ibn Abī Ṭālib رضي الله عنه was martyred, the Prophet ﷺ gave his family three days’ respite. After that, he ﷺ went to them and said:
“Do not weep for my brother after today.”
(Sunan Abī Dāwūd: 4192, Ṣaḥīḥ chain)
This Ḥadīth makes it clear that mourning and condolence gatherings should not continue for more than three days.
Sending Food to the Bereaved Family
The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said:
"اصْنَعُوا لآلِ جَعْفَرٍ طَعَامًا، فَقَدْ أَتَاهُمْ أَمْرٌ يَشْغَلُهُمْ"
“Prepare food for the family of Jaʿfar, for something has happened to them which has preoccupied them.”
(Sunan Abī Dāwūd: 3132, Ḥasan chain, Tawḍīḥ al-Aḥkām, Vol. 1, p. 508)
From this, we learn that:
❀ It is permissible for friends and relatives to arrange food for the family of the deceased during the time of condolence.
❀ If the family is preoccupied, delivering food and assisting them is not only permissible but a virtuous act.
Conclusion & Summary
➊ If a close relative passes away and you, while abroad (e.g., in England), sit for three days in mourning, this is permissible according to Sharīʿah.
➋ If friends or relatives send food during these three days as a form of condolence, this is also permissible and correct.
ھذا ما عندي والله أعلم بالصواب
