Excerpt from the book: Ahkām wa Masā’il – In the Light of Qur’an and Sunnah by Shaykh Mubashir Ahmad Rabbani
If a woman’s father prevents her from returning to her husband, is it obligatory for her to obey her father in this matter? And is her father considered a transgressor from a Shar‘i perspective?
A father does not possess any Shar‘i right to stop his married daughter from returning to her husband. If the father forbids her, it is not obligatory for the daughter to obey him, because after marriage, the authority over the woman rests with her husband.
A father who prevents her without a valid Shar‘i excuse is sinful and a wrongdoer in the sight of Allah.
In Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī and Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, it is narrated from ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿUmar رضي الله عنهما that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
"Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be asked about his flock. A woman is a shepherd over her husband’s house and she will be asked about her responsibility."
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Kitāb al-Jumuʿah, Bāb al-Jumuʿah fī al-Qurā wa al-Mudun (893)
Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim (1829)
This authentic ḥadīth proves that after marriage, a woman is made responsible for her husband's household, and she will be questioned about it.
Narrated by Sayyidah ʿĀ’ishah رضي الله عنها:
"I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
❝Who among people has the greatest right over a woman?❞
He ﷺ replied: ❝Her husband.❞
I then asked: ❝And who among people has the greatest right over a man?❞
He ﷺ said: ❝His mother.❞"
Musnad al-Bazzār (2/179, Ḥadīth 1466), Kashf al-Astār, al-Nasā’ī al-Kubrā (5/363, Ḥadīth 9148), al-Mustadrak al-Ḥākim (4/167, Ḥadīth 7244)
And in Musnad Aḥmad and other sources, it is reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:
"If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts in Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband – she will be told: ‘Enter Paradise through whichever gate you wish.’"
Musnad Aḥmad (1/191, Ḥadīth 1661)
These authentic narrations highlight that the husband has the highest right over a woman. If she fulfills his rights, the gates of Paradise open for her.
Ḥusayn ibn Miḥṣan narrated:
"My aunt told me that she once went to the Prophet ﷺ for a need. The Prophet ﷺ asked:
❝Do you have a husband?❞
She replied: ❝Yes.❞
He ﷺ asked: ❝How are you towards him?❞
She replied: ❝I do not fall short in fulfilling his rights except where I am unable.❞
The Prophet ﷺ then said:
❝Then consider your position with him carefully – for he is your Paradise or your Hell.❞
al-Mustadrak of al-Ḥākim (2/189, Ḥadīth 2769)
This authentic ḥadīth clearly underscores the seriousness of a wife’s relationship with her husband, and how much emphasis the Prophet ﷺ placed on fulfilling his rights.
❖ Question:
If a woman’s father prevents her from returning to her husband, is it obligatory for her to obey her father in this matter? And is her father considered a transgressor from a Shar‘i perspective?
❖ Answer:
A father does not possess any Shar‘i right to stop his married daughter from returning to her husband. If the father forbids her, it is not obligatory for the daughter to obey him, because after marriage, the authority over the woman rests with her husband.
A father who prevents her without a valid Shar‘i excuse is sinful and a wrongdoer in the sight of Allah.
✿ Prophetic Teachings on This Matter:
In Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī and Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, it is narrated from ʿAbdullāh ibn ʿUmar رضي الله عنهما that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
"Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be asked about his flock. A woman is a shepherd over her husband’s house and she will be asked about her responsibility."
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Kitāb al-Jumuʿah, Bāb al-Jumuʿah fī al-Qurā wa al-Mudun (893) Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim (1829)This authentic ḥadīth proves that after marriage, a woman is made responsible for her husband's household, and she will be questioned about it.
✿ A Woman’s Greatest Obligation is to Her Husband:
Narrated by Sayyidah ʿĀ’ishah رضي الله عنها:
"I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
❝Who among people has the greatest right over a woman?❞
He ﷺ replied: ❝Her husband.❞
I then asked: ❝And who among people has the greatest right over a man?❞
He ﷺ said: ❝His mother.❞"
Musnad al-Bazzār (2/179, Ḥadīth 1466), Kashf al-Astār, al-Nasā’ī al-Kubrā (5/363, Ḥadīth 9148), al-Mustadrak al-Ḥākim (4/167, Ḥadīth 7244)And in Musnad Aḥmad and other sources, it is reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:
"If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts in Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband – she will be told: ‘Enter Paradise through whichever gate you wish.’"
Musnad Aḥmad (1/191, Ḥadīth 1661)These authentic narrations highlight that the husband has the highest right over a woman. If she fulfills his rights, the gates of Paradise open for her.
✿ A Clear Warning from the Prophet ﷺ:
Ḥusayn ibn Miḥṣan narrated:
"My aunt told me that she once went to the Prophet ﷺ for a need. The Prophet ﷺ asked:
❝Do you have a husband?❞
She replied: ❝Yes.❞
He ﷺ asked: ❝How are you towards him?❞
She replied: ❝I do not fall short in fulfilling his rights except where I am unable.❞
The Prophet ﷺ then said:
❝Then consider your position with him carefully – for he is your Paradise or your Hell.❞
al-Mustadrak of al-Ḥākim (2/189, Ḥadīth 2769)This authentic ḥadīth clearly underscores the seriousness of a wife’s relationship with her husband, and how much emphasis the Prophet ﷺ placed on fulfilling his rights.
Final Ruling:
- ① The father has no authority to prevent his married daughter from going to her husband without a valid Shar‘i reason.
- ② The woman is not obliged to obey her father in this matter.
- ③ If the father insists on preventing her without justification, he is sinful and blameworthy.
- ④ The woman must obey her husband, and the father should not stand in her way.
