Asking Questions for Learning from a Teacher

Authored by: Dr. Muhammad Zia-ur-Rahman Azmi (Rahimahullah)
Chapter Title: Honoring Elders in Conversation
Arabic Title: باب إكرام الكبير فى الكلام

Hadith on Giving Priority to Elders in Conversation​

❀ Sayyiduna Sahl ibn Abi Hathmah and Rafi ibn Khadij (RA) narrated that Abdullah ibn Sahl and Muhayyisah ibn Mas'ud went towards Khaybar and separated in the palm groves. Abdullah ibn Sahl was killed, and the blame fell on the Jews. His brother Abdul Rahman and two cousins, Huwayyisah and Muhayyisah, came to the Prophet (PBUH). Abdul Rahman, who was the youngest, began to speak about the matter. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Let the elders speak first," or "Give the opportunity to the elder ones to speak."
After this, Huwayyisah and Muhayyisah spoke regarding their companion's matter. The Prophet (PBUH) then said:

"If fifty of you swear an oath against one of them (the Jews), he will be handed over to you."
They replied, "How can we swear an oath about something we did not witness?" The Prophet (PBUH) then said:

"In that case, the Jews can exonerate themselves by taking fifty oaths."
They replied, "O Messenger of Allah, these are disbelievers; their oaths cannot be trusted." Thus, the Prophet (PBUH) compensated the family of Abdullah ibn Sahl for the blood money from his own side.
(Sahl (RA) said): "One day, I entered their settlement, and one of those camels kicked me with its leg."
(Bukhari 6142, 6143; Muslim 1669:2)

Example of Thoughtful Conversation​

❀ Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Tell me about a tree whose example resembles that of a Muslim. It gives fruit by the permission of its Lord at all times, and its leaves do not fall."
I thought to myself that it was the date palm tree, but I did not speak because Abu Bakr and Umar (RA) were present, and I did not wish to speak ahead of them. When they too remained silent, the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"It is the date palm tree."
When I left with my father, I said: "Father, I thought it was the date palm tree." He replied:

"What stopped you from saying it? Had you said it, I would have been happier than with many other things."
Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) replied: "I refrained because I saw that you and Abu Bakr (RA) were silent, so I disliked speaking before you."
(Bukhari 6144; Muslim 2811:64)

Respect for Elders and Scholars​

❀ Sayyiduna Abu Musa al-Ash'ari (RA) narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Part of honoring Allah is to respect an elderly Muslim, a person who has memorized the Qur'an without excessiveness or neglect, and a just ruler."
(Hasan: Abu Dawood 4843)

Key Lessons from These Narrations​

1. Respecting Elders in Speech: Elders should be given the opportunity to speak first in formal discussions.
2. Encouragement to Learn: Younger individuals should not hesitate to ask questions or share their thoughts in appropriate settings.
3. Balancing Etiquette and Initiative: While it is virtuous to show deference to elders, one should also take initiative when beneficial.
4. Respect for Virtuous Individuals: Honoring an elderly Muslim, a scholar of the Qur'an, or a just leader is akin to honoring Allah.

These teachings emphasize fostering an environment of respect, learning, and wisdom in interpersonal communication.