Fatwa by: Sheikh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah protect him)
Question:
I have a friend who is extremely pious, follows the teachings of Islam, and loves to engage in good deeds. However, she is known for one particular habit: she always wants to stand out from her other friends. For example, she always wants to wear clothes that are different from other women (she does observe hijab). If she finds out that another woman has bought the same clothing as hers, she will stop wearing it and never wear it again. Similarly, she seeks to differentiate herself in her children's clothing and household items. She does not want to take away anyone's blessings, no matter how beautiful their belongings may be, but she simply wants to stand out. Is this considered envy or arrogance? She dislikes both envy and arrogance.
Answer:
We are not fully aware of what might be in this woman’s heart that causes her to behave in this way. If her behavior is due to envy, then envy is forbidden. Envy is defined as “wishing for the removal of blessings from the one being envied and striving to harm them.” However, as you have mentioned, she does not behave this way.
If her behavior is due to arrogance and disliking others to share in her qualities, then this too is forbidden. However, the blameworthy arrogance that is condemned is the kind that entails rejecting the truth and belittling people. Loving beautiful clothing does not fall under this kind of arrogance. Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty.
If her actions are driven by a desire to stand out and be known for a particular habit, we must investigate the underlying reason. It could be that her behavior stems from certain values or tendencies that take root in the hearts of some people, which do not necessarily have forbidden causes. And Allah knows best.
Question:
I have a friend who is extremely pious, follows the teachings of Islam, and loves to engage in good deeds. However, she is known for one particular habit: she always wants to stand out from her other friends. For example, she always wants to wear clothes that are different from other women (she does observe hijab). If she finds out that another woman has bought the same clothing as hers, she will stop wearing it and never wear it again. Similarly, she seeks to differentiate herself in her children's clothing and household items. She does not want to take away anyone's blessings, no matter how beautiful their belongings may be, but she simply wants to stand out. Is this considered envy or arrogance? She dislikes both envy and arrogance.
Answer:
We are not fully aware of what might be in this woman’s heart that causes her to behave in this way. If her behavior is due to envy, then envy is forbidden. Envy is defined as “wishing for the removal of blessings from the one being envied and striving to harm them.” However, as you have mentioned, she does not behave this way.
If her behavior is due to arrogance and disliking others to share in her qualities, then this too is forbidden. However, the blameworthy arrogance that is condemned is the kind that entails rejecting the truth and belittling people. Loving beautiful clothing does not fall under this kind of arrogance. Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty.
If her actions are driven by a desire to stand out and be known for a particular habit, we must investigate the underlying reason. It could be that her behavior stems from certain values or tendencies that take root in the hearts of some people, which do not necessarily have forbidden causes. And Allah knows best.