Advice for Resolving Marital Conflicts and Addressing Guardianship Misuse

Excerpt from "500 Questions and Answers for Women," translated by Hafiz Abdullah Saleem

Question:​

What advice would you give to husbands and wives to resolve marital conflicts? Additionally, what advice would you give regarding guardians (wali) who prevent women under their guardianship from marrying to exploit their income?

Answer:​

1. Advice to Husbands and Wives for Resolving Marital Conflicts​

I advise both husbands and wives to avoid escalating conflicts and to adopt a spirit of compromise by sometimes foregoing their rights. This approach is supported by the guidance of the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), who said:

“A believing man should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”
[Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 1469]
Thus, each spouse should focus on their partner's positive traits and tolerate their shortcomings to maintain harmony in the marital relationship.

2. Regarding Guardians Who Exploit Women by Preventing Marriage​

For those guardians who prevent women under their care from marrying due to a desire to exploit their income, this behavior constitutes a betrayal of their trust, which is strictly prohibited in Islam.

Rulings on Such Guardianship:​

1. Prohibition of Preventing Marriage:
   
   • It is haram for a guardian to prevent a woman from marrying for selfish reasons.
2. Transfer of Guardianship:
   
   • If a guardian unjustly obstructs marriage, his guardianship is revoked, and it transfers to the next eligible guardian.
   • If the subsequent guardian also prevents the marriage, the guardianship moves further down the hierarchy.
3. Escalation to Authorities:
   
   • If all guardians are complicit in preventing the woman from marrying out of fear of losing financial benefits, the matter should be referred to the court.
   • The judge (qadi) will have the authority to arrange the marriage in such cases.

Reference: Shaykh Muhammad bin Saleh Al-Uthaymeen (رحمه الله)

Key Takeaways:​

• For Spouses: Focus on resolving differences by appreciating each other's good qualities and overlooking faults.
• For Guardians: Preventing marriage for financial gain is a betrayal and may result in losing guardianship rights.