◈ 8 Effective Means of Softening the Heart – In Light of Authentic Hadiths ◈
Source: Fatāwā al-Dīn al-Khāliṣ, Vol. 1, Page 236
What are the effective remedies for hard-heartedness (qaswat al-qalb)?
Just as a physically ill person cannot treat others until cured himself, the heart must also be purified before guiding others. Hard-heartedness is a spiritual disease, and it is essential to treat it for a believer’s emotional and spiritual well-being. Below are eight proven and effective methods to soften the heart, all derived from authentic sources.
Feeding the poor is a highly effective way to remove the hardness of the heart and to draw closer to Allah.
A man once complained to the Prophet ﷺ about the hardness of his heart. The Prophet ﷺ responded:
“Stroke the head of the orphan and feed the needy.”
– Musnad Aḥmad (2/263), Ṭabarānī (Mukhtaṣar Makārim al-Akhlāq) 1/120, Majmaʿ al-Zawāʾid 8/160, Ḥilyat al-Awliyāʾ 1/214, al-Targhīb by al-Mundhirī, Mishkāt al-Maṣābīḥ 2/425
This practice fosters empathy and softens the heart significantly.
Narrated by Abū al-Dardāʾ رضي الله عنه:
A man complained to the Prophet ﷺ about his hard heart. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Would you like your heart to be softened and your needs fulfilled?
Show mercy to the orphan, place your hand gently over his head, and feed him from your food.
Your heart will become soft, and your needs will be fulfilled.”
This profound guidance not only benefits the heart but also fulfills worldly and spiritual needs.
The greatest and most effective remedy for a hard heart is the constant remembrance of Allah.
Dhikr brings life to the heart and reconnects it with its Creator.
Limiting idle talk helps direct the heart towards Allah and prevents heedlessness.
Silence, when coupled with dhikr, is a powerful tool for spiritual discipline.
The Prophet ﷺ rarely joked—only around twenty instances are recorded—and even then, always in truth.
Abandoning excessive humor helps maintain spiritual seriousness and heart-softness.
Umm al-Dardāʾ رضي الله عنها said:
“Attending funerals, visiting the sick, and visiting graves soften the heart.”
These are moments of reflection that remind us of death and the afterlife, thus cleansing the heart of arrogance and heedlessness.
Ibn al-Qayyim writes in al-Fawāʾid (p. 167):
“Four things, when excessive, harden the heart:
① Overeating
② Oversleeping
③ Excessive talk
④ Too much social interaction”
In Madārij al-Sālikīn (1/453), he elaborates that five things corrupt the heart:
◈ Too much mixing with people
◈ Long hopes and expectations
◈ Attachment to anything besides Allah
◈ Eating excessively
◈ Sleeping excessively
These cause heedlessness and weaken the heart’s connection to Allah.
For deeper understanding, readers are encouraged to refer to the book:
"al-Fawāʾid" – covering the purification of the soul, the science of the heart, and divine love.
May Allah grant us the ability to act upon these remedies and make our hearts among those softened by His remembrance and beautified by mercy.
He alone is the granter of success, and there is no Lord besides Him.
This is what I hold to be correct, and Allah knows best.
Source: Fatāwā al-Dīn al-Khāliṣ, Vol. 1, Page 236
❖ Question:
What are the effective remedies for hard-heartedness (qaswat al-qalb)?
❖ Introduction
Just as a physically ill person cannot treat others until cured himself, the heart must also be purified before guiding others. Hard-heartedness is a spiritual disease, and it is essential to treat it for a believer’s emotional and spiritual well-being. Below are eight proven and effective methods to soften the heart, all derived from authentic sources.
✿ 8 Effective Means to Soften the Heart
➊ Feeding the Needy
Feeding the poor is a highly effective way to remove the hardness of the heart and to draw closer to Allah.
➋ Showing Mercy to Orphans
A man once complained to the Prophet ﷺ about the hardness of his heart. The Prophet ﷺ responded:
“Stroke the head of the orphan and feed the needy.”
– Musnad Aḥmad (2/263), Ṭabarānī (Mukhtaṣar Makārim al-Akhlāq) 1/120, Majmaʿ al-Zawāʾid 8/160, Ḥilyat al-Awliyāʾ 1/214, al-Targhīb by al-Mundhirī, Mishkāt al-Maṣābīḥ 2/425
This practice fosters empathy and softens the heart significantly.
➌ Fulfilling Others’ Needs
Narrated by Abū al-Dardāʾ رضي الله عنه:
A man complained to the Prophet ﷺ about his hard heart. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Would you like your heart to be softened and your needs fulfilled?
Show mercy to the orphan, place your hand gently over his head, and feed him from your food.
Your heart will become soft, and your needs will be fulfilled.”
This profound guidance not only benefits the heart but also fulfills worldly and spiritual needs.
➍ Engaging in the Remembrance of Allah (Dhikr)
The greatest and most effective remedy for a hard heart is the constant remembrance of Allah.
Dhikr brings life to the heart and reconnects it with its Creator.
➎ Reducing Unnecessary Speech
Limiting idle talk helps direct the heart towards Allah and prevents heedlessness.
Silence, when coupled with dhikr, is a powerful tool for spiritual discipline.
➏ Avoiding Excessive Joking
The Prophet ﷺ rarely joked—only around twenty instances are recorded—and even then, always in truth.
Abandoning excessive humor helps maintain spiritual seriousness and heart-softness.
➐ Attending Moments of Reflection and Advice
Umm al-Dardāʾ رضي الله عنها said:
“Attending funerals, visiting the sick, and visiting graves soften the heart.”
These are moments of reflection that remind us of death and the afterlife, thus cleansing the heart of arrogance and heedlessness.
➑ Maintaining Balance in Eating, Sleeping, Speaking, and Socializing
Ibn al-Qayyim writes in al-Fawāʾid (p. 167):“Four things, when excessive, harden the heart:
① Overeating
② Oversleeping
③ Excessive talk
④ Too much social interaction”
In Madārij al-Sālikīn (1/453), he elaborates that five things corrupt the heart:◈ Too much mixing with people
◈ Long hopes and expectations
◈ Attachment to anything besides Allah
◈ Eating excessively
◈ Sleeping excessively
These cause heedlessness and weaken the heart’s connection to Allah.
❖ Additional Guidance
For deeper understanding, readers are encouraged to refer to the book:
"al-Fawāʾid" – covering the purification of the soul, the science of the heart, and divine love.
❖ Final Words
May Allah grant us the ability to act upon these remedies and make our hearts among those softened by His remembrance and beautified by mercy.
He alone is the granter of success, and there is no Lord besides Him.
This is what I hold to be correct, and Allah knows best.
