This excerpt is taken from Shaykh Jāwīd Iqbāl Sialkōṭī’s book: Wālidayn aur Aulād ke Huqūq (The Rights of Parents and Children).
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show excellence (good treatment) to your parents.”
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا
“And We have enjoined upon man to treat his parents with excellence. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship.”
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“And We have instructed man concerning his parents: his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final return.”
وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّهَ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“And [remember] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel: ‘Worship none but Allah, and treat parents with excellence…’”
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا
“And We have instructed man to treat his parents with kindness.”
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and treat parents with excellence.”
① عن أسماء بنت أبى بكر قالت أتتني أمي راغبة فى عهد النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فسألت النبى أصلها قال نعم وفي رواية قدمت أمي وهى مشركة
Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (رضي الله عنهما) said: “My mother came to me during the time of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, and she was a polytheist. I asked the Prophet: ‘Should I keep ties with her?’ He said: ‘Yes.’ (In another narration: ‘My mother came to me while she was a polytheist.’)”
② عن أبى هريرة قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله من أحق بحسن صحابتي قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال ثم أبوك
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه said: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Who is most entitled to my excellent companionship?” He replied: “Your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” He replied: “Then your father.”
③ عن بهز بن حكيم عن أبيه عن جده قال قلت يا رسول الله من أبر قال أمك ثم أمك ثم أمك ثم أباك
A Companion narrated: “I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah, whom should I treat with greatest righteousness?’ He said: ‘Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father.’”
④ عن المقدام بن معديكرب أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الله يوصيكم بأمهاتكم ثلاثا إن الله يوصيكم بآبائكم
Al-Miqdam ibn Ma‘dikarib رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers,” three times. “Allah enjoins you concerning your fathers.”
⑤ عن عبد الله قال سألت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أى العمل أحب إلى الله قال الصلاة على وقتها قال ثم أى قال ثم بر الوالدين قال ثم أى قال الجهاد فى سبيل الله
‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud رضي الله عنه said: I asked the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: “Which deed is most beloved to Allah?” He said: “Prayer at its proper time.” I asked: “Then which?” He said: “Kind treatment of parents.” I asked: “Then which?” He said: “Jihad in the path of Allah.”
⑥ عن عبد الله بن عمرو عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال رضى الرب فى رضى الوالد وسخط الرب فى سخط الوالد
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parent, and the anger of the Lord is in the anger of the parent.”
Note (as mentioned in the source): In this hadith, “والد” (parent) refers to both mother and father.
⋆ المراد بالوالد الجنس او اذا كان حكم الوالد هذا فحكم الوالدة اقوى وبالاعتبار اولى
Meaning: “The word ‘parent’ here is used as a general term; and if this is the ruling regarding the father, then the ruling regarding the mother is even stronger and more deserving.”
Benefit (as stated): If a person’s parents are pleased with him, then (in the sense of obedience to Islam) Allah is pleased with him; and if they are displeased with him, then Allah is displeased with him.
⑦ عن عبد الرحمن بن عوف قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول قال الله تعالى أنا الرحمن وهى الرحم شققت لها من اسمي من وصلها وصلته ومن قطعها بتته
‘Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf رضي الله عنه said: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say that Allah تعالى said: “I am al-Rahman, and it is al-Rahim (the kinship tie). I derived its name from My Name. Whoever maintains it, I will maintain ties with him; and whoever cuts it, I will cut him off.”
Benefit: Whoever maintains family ties, Allah تعالى will maintain His connection with him; and whoever severs them, Allah will sever him. Among all relatives, the greatest right of maintaining ties belongs to parents.
⑧ عن أبى الدرداء قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول الوالد أوسط أبواب الجنة فإن شئت فأضع ذلك الباب أو احفظه
Abu al-Darda’ رضي الله عنه said: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say: “The parent is the best (central) gate of Paradise. If you wish, neglect that gate (by displeasing him), or preserve it (by serving him).”
⑨ عن عائشة قالت قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم دخلت الجنة فسمعت فيها قراءة فقلت من هذا قالوا حارثة بن النعمان فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم كذلكم البر كذلكم البر وكان أبر الناس بأمه
‘A’ishah رضي الله عنها said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “I entered Paradise and heard recitation in it. I asked: ‘Who is this?’ They said: ‘Harithah ibn al-Nu‘man.’ The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ‘Such is righteousness, such is righteousness!’ And he was among the most dutiful of people to his mother.”
⑩ عن معاوية بن جاهمة أن جاهمة جاء إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئت أستشيرك فقال هل لك من أم قال نعم قال فالزمها فإن الجنة عند رجليها
Mu‘awiyah ibn Jahmah narrated that Jahmah came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I intended to go out for battle, and I came to consult you.” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He replied: “Yes.” He said: “Then stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.”
⑪ عن جاهمة قال أتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أستشيره فى الجهاد فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم ألك والدان قلت نعم قال الزمهما فإن الجنة تحت أرجلھما
Jahmah رضي الله عنه said: I came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم seeking consultation about jihad. He asked: “Do you have parents?” I said: “Yes.” He said: “Stay with them, for Paradise is beneath their feet.”
Benefit (as stated): “Paradise beneath their feet” means that through obeying and serving them, Allah grants a person Paradise. It does not mean that Paradise is under the feet of the wife.
⑫ عن أبى هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاث دعوات مستجابات لا شك فيهن دعوة المظلوم ودعوة المسافر ودعوة الوالد على ولده
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Three supplications are answered—there is no doubt about them: the supplication of the oppressed, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of a parent against (or for) his child.”
⑬ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لم يتكلم فى المهد إلا ثلاثة عيسى ابن مريم وصاحب جريج وكان جريج رجلا عابدا فاتخذ صومعة فكان فيها فأتته أمه وهو يصلي فقالت يا جريج فقال يا رب أمي وصلاتي فأقبل علىٰ صلاته فانصرفت فلما كان من الغد أتته وهو يصلي فقالت يا جريج فقال يا رب أمي وصلاتي فأقبل علىٰ صلاته فانصرفت فلما كان من الغد أتته وهو يصلي فقالت يا جريج فقال يا رب أمي وصلاتي فأقبل علىٰ صلاته فقالت اللهم لا تمته حتىٰ ينظر إلىٰ وجوه المومسات فتذاكر بنو إسرائيل جريجا وعبادته وكانت امرأة بغي يتمثل بحسنها فقالت إن شئتم لأفتننه لكم قال فتعرضت له فلم يلتفت إليها فأتت راعيا كان يأوي إلىٰ صومعته فأمكنته من نفسها فوقع عليها فحملت فلما ولدت قالت هو من جريج فأتوه فاستنزلوه وهدموا صومعته وجعلوا يضربونه فقال ما شأنكم قالوا زنيت بهذه البغي فولدت منك فقال أين الصبي فجاءوا به فقال دعوني حتىٰ أصلي فصلىٰ فلما انصرف أتى الصبي فطعن فى بطنه وقال يا غلام من أبوك قال فلان الراعي قال فأقبلوا علىٰ جريج يقبلونه ويتمسحون به وقالوا نبني لك صومعتك من ذهب قال لا أعيدوها كما كانت من طين ففعلوا وبينا صبي يرضع من أمه فمر رجل راكب علىٰ دابة فارهة وشارة حسنة فقالت أمه اللهم اجعل ابني مثل هذا فترك الثدي وأقبل إليه فنظر إليه فقال اللهم لا تجعلني مثله ثم أقبل علىٰ ثديه فجعل يرتضع قال فكأني أنظر إلىٰ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وهو يحكي ارتضاعه بإصبعه السبابة فى فيه فجعل يمصها قال ومروا بجارية وهم يضربونها ويقولون زنيت سرقت وهى تقول حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل فقالت أمه اللهم لا تجعل ابني مثلها فترك الرضاع ونظر إليها فقال اللهم اجعلني مثلها
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “No infant spoke in the cradle except three: ‘Isa ibn Maryam, the companion of Jurayj…” (then he mentioned the story of Jurayj). In summary: Jurayj was a devout worshipper who lived in a monastery. His mother came while he was praying and called him, but he chose to continue the prayer instead of answering her. She returned, and this happened again the next day, and again the third day. She then supplicated against him. Later, a prostitute tried to tempt him but failed, then she committed adultery with a shepherd and became pregnant, falsely accusing Jurayj. People attacked him, destroyed his monastery, and beat him. Jurayj asked to pray, then he went to the infant and asked: “O boy, who is your father?” The infant replied: “So-and-so, the shepherd.” The people then apologized and wanted to rebuild his monastery in gold, but he asked them to rebuild it as it was. The hadith also mentions another infant who spoke regarding a rider and a slave girl, explaining that outward appearances can be deceptive.
Benefit (as stated): From these narrations it is understood that a mother’s supplication (and even her curse) regarding her child is not rejected by Allah, and that harming parents can have severe consequences.
⑭ عن ابن عمر عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال بينما ثلاثة نفر يتمشون أخذهم المطر فأووا إلىٰ غار فى جبل فانحطت علىٰ فم غارهم صخرة من الجبل فسدت عليهم فقال بعضهم لبعض انظروا أعمالا عملتموها لله صالحة فادعوا الله بها لعله يفرجها فقال أحدهم اللهم إنه كان لي والدان شيخان كبيران ولي امرأة ولي صغار كنت أرعى عليهم فإذا رحت عليهم فحلبت بدأت بوالدي أسقيهما قبل بني وإنه نأىٰ بي الشجر فما أتيت حتىٰ أمسيت فوجدتهما قد ناما فحلبت كما كنت أحلب فجئت بالقدح فقمت عند رءوسهما أكره أن أوقظهما من نومهما وأكره أن أسقي الصغار قبلهما والصغار يتضاغون عند قدمي فلم يزل ذلك دأبي ودأبهم حتىٰ طلع الفجر فإن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج لنا فرجة نرىٰ منها السماء ففرج الله لهم فرجة حتىٰ رأوا منها السماء وقال الثاني اللهم إنه كانت لي ابنة عم أحبها كأشد ما يحب الرجال النساء فطلبت إليها نفسها فأبت حتىٰ آتيها بمائة دينار فسعيت حتىٰ جمعت مائة دينار فأتيتها بها فلما قدرت بين رجليها قالت يا عبد الله اتق الله ولا تفتح الخاتم إلا بحقه فقمت عنها اللهم إن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج لنا منها فرجة ففرج لهم وقال الآخر اللهم إني كنت استأجرت أجيرا بفرق من أرز فلما قضىٰ عمله قال أعطني حقي فعرضت عليه حقه فرغب عنه فلم أزل أزرعه له حتىٰ جمعت منه بقرا وراعيها فجاءني فقال اتق الله ولا تظلمني فأعطني حقي فقلت اذهب إلىٰ تلك البقر وراعيها فخذها فقال اتق الله ولا تستهزئ بي فقلت إني لا أستهزئ بك خذ تلك البقر وراعيها فأخذها فذهب بها فإن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج ما بقي ففرج الله عنهم
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Three men were walking when rain caught them, so they sought shelter in a cave in a mountain. A rock slid down and blocked the entrance. They said to one another: ‘Look to the righteous deeds you did purely for Allah, and supplicate to Allah through them—perhaps He will relieve you.’ One of them mentioned his exceptional dutifulness to his elderly parents, another mentioned leaving a sinful act for Allah’s sake, and the third mentioned returning a worker’s right with complete honesty. Each one supplicated by his sincere deed, and Allah opened the cave for them until they were able to leave.”
Benefit: Serving parents can become a means by which Allah removes worldly difficulties and distress.
⑮ عن ابن عمر أن رجلا أتى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إني أصبت ذنبا عظيما فهل لي توبة قال هل لك من أم قال لا قال هل لك من خالة قال نعم قال فبرها
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have committed a great sin—do I have repentance?” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: “No.” He said: “Do you have a maternal aunt?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then be dutiful to her.”
⑯ عن ابن عمر قال أتى النبى رجل فقال يا رسول الله إني أذنبت ذنبا كبيرا فهل لي من توبة قال ألك والدان قال لا قال فلك خالة قال نعم فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فبرها إذا
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have committed many great sins—do I have repentance?” He said: “Do you have parents?” He said: “No.” He said: “Do you have a maternal aunt?” He said: “Yes.” The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Then be dutiful to her.”
Benefit: From these narrations, the source concludes that dutifulness to parents (and close maternal relatives in their absence) is a means for Allah to forgive even major sins.
⑰ عن أنس بن مالك قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول من سره أن يبسط له فى رزقه أو ينسأ له فى أثره فليصل رحمه
Anas ibn Malik رضي الله عنه narrated: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say: “Whoever would like his provision to be expanded and his lifespan (trace) to be extended, let him maintain ties of kinship.”
⑱ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى قال تعلموا من أنسابكم ما تصلون به أرحامكم فإن صلة الرحم محبة فى الأهل مثراة فى المال منسأة فى الأثر
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Learn enough of your lineage to maintain your kinship ties, for maintaining kinship brings love among family, increase in wealth, and extension in lifespan.”
⑲ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله فاستأذنه فى الجهاد فقال أحيا والداك قال نعم قال ففيهما فجاهد
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم seeking permission for jihad. He said: “Are your parents alive?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then strive (make jihad) in serving them.”
⑳ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال أتى رجل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إني جئت أريد الجهاد معك أبتغي وجه الله والدار الآخرة ولقد أتيت وإن والدي ليبكيان قال فارجع إليهما فأضحكهما كما أبكيتهما
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I came wanting to go for jihad with you, seeking Allah’s Face and the Hereafter, but I came while my parents were weeping.” He said: “Return to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.”
㉑ أن رجلا هاجر إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من اليمن فقال هل لك أحد باليمن قال أبواي قال أذنا لك قال لا قال فارجع إليهما فاستأذنهما فإن أذنا لك فجاهد وإلا فبرهما
A man migrated from Yemen to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم. He said: “Do you have anyone in Yemen?” He said: “My parents.” He said: “Did they give you permission?” He said: “No.” He said: “Then return to them and seek their permission. If they permit you, then perform jihad; otherwise, be dutiful to them.”
Objection (as mentioned): Some people cite the verse below to claim that parents’ permission is not required:
قُلْ إِن كَانَ آبَاؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَاؤُكُمْ وَإِخْوَانُكُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُكُمْ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمْ وَأَمْوَالٌ اقْتَرَفْتُمُوهَا وَتِجَارَةٌ تَخْشَوْنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَاكِنُ تَرْضَوْنَهَا أَحَبَّ إِلَيْكُم مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَجِهَادٍ فِي سَبِيلِهِ فَتَرَبَّصُوا حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَ اللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْفَاسِقِينَ
“Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, the wealth you have acquired, the trade you fear may decline, and the homes you are pleased with—if these are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His cause—then wait until Allah brings His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient.”
Answer (as presented in the source): Those who require parents’ permission are not preferring parents over Allah and His Messenger; rather, they are following the Messenger’s instruction—so their ruling is based on obedience to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
Note (as stated): Jihad remains until the Day of Resurrection:
الجهاد ماض إلى يوم القيامة.
“Jihad continues until the Day of Resurrection.”
Fatwa cited (Hafiz ‘Abd al-Mannan Nurpuri رحمه الله): In the types of jihad discussed, seeking parents’ permission is necessary, based on hadith in al-Bukhari and Abi Dawud. Going without permission is described as a major sin due to عقوق الوالدين (undutifulness).
Fatwa cited (Shaykh Hafiz ‘Abd al-Salam Bhattwi رحمه الله): The majority of scholars say that if one or both parents forbid (and they are Muslim), then jihad is prohibited when it is فرض كفاية (communal obligation), because serving parents is an individual obligation; but when jihad becomes فرض عين (individually obligatory), permission is not required.
Cases when jihad becomes individually obligatory (as listed in the source):
⑴ When the enemy attacks or occupies Muslim lands.
⑵ When the leader commands a specific group/person to go out.
وإذا استنفرتم فانفروا
“When you are called to go forth, then go forth.”
⑶ When battle has begun and one is present on the battlefield:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا لَقِيتُمُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا زَحْفًا فَلَا تُوَلُّوهُمُ الْأَدْبَارَ
“O you who believe, when you meet those who disbelieve advancing (for battle), do not turn your backs to them.”
㉒ عن عمرو بن شعيب عن أبيه عن جده أن رجلا أتى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إن لي مالا وولدا وإن والدي يحتاج مالي قال أنت ومالك لوالدك إن أولادكم من أطيب كسبكم فكلوا من كسب أولادكم
A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have wealth and children, and my father needs my wealth.” He said: “You and your wealth belong to your father. Indeed, your children are among the best of your earnings, so eat from your children’s earnings.”
Benefit (as stated): If parents are in need, they have a right to take from their child’s wealth—while avoiding injustice and maintaining fairness between children.
㉓ عن عبد الله بن عمر قال كانت تحتي امرأة وكنت أحبها وكان عمر يكرهها فقال لي طلقها فأبيت فأتى عمر النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فذكر ذلك له فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم طلقها
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما said: I had a wife whom I loved, but ‘Umar (my father) disliked her. He told me to divorce her, but I refused. ‘Umar went to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and mentioned it to him, so the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Divorce her.”
㉔ عن أبى الدرداء قال إن رجلا أتاه فقال إن لي امرأة وإن أمي تأمرني بطلاقها فقال أبو الدرداء سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول الوالد أوسط أبواب الجنة فإن شئت فأضع ذلك الباب أو احفظه
A man came to Abu al-Darda’ رضي الله عنه and said: “I have a wife, and my mother commands me to divorce her.” Abu al-Darda’ said: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say: “The parent is the best gate of Paradise; if you wish, neglect that gate or preserve it.”
Note (as stated): “Parent” here refers to both parents.
Benefit (as explained in the source): If parents command divorce due to a genuine, shar‘i reason and real harm, the child should obey. If they command something against the Shari‘ah, that is not obeyed.
㉕ عن أبى هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا يجزي ولد والدا إلا أن يجده مملوكا فيشتريه فيعتقه
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A child cannot fully repay his parent unless he finds him enslaved, buys him, and then frees him.”
Benefit: Even lifelong service cannot fully repay parents’ rights.
㉖ عن ابن عمر قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن أبر البر صلة المرء أهل ود ابيه بعد ان يولي
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Among the greatest forms of righteousness is that a person maintains ties with the friends of his father after his father has passed away.”
رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“My Lord, have mercy upon them as they raised me when I was small.”
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ
“Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers on the Day the account is established.”
㉗ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال القنطار اثنا عشر ألف أوقية كل أوقية خير مما بين السماء والأرض وقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن الرجل لترفع درجته فى الجنة فيقول أنىٰ هذا فيقال باستغفار ولدك لك
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A qintar is twelve thousand uqiyyah; every uqiyyah is better than what is between the heavens and the earth.” And the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Indeed, a man’s rank is raised in Paradise, so he says: ‘How is this (for me)?’ It is said: ‘By your child seeking forgiveness for you.’”
مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِيِّ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَن يَسْتَغْفِرُوا لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ وَلَوْ كَانُوا أُولِي قُرْبَىٰ مِن بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُمْ أَصْحَابُ الْجَحِيمِ
“It is not for the Prophet and those who believe to seek forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they are close relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of the Hellfire.”
(The source then states its ruling regarding parents who die upon shirk.)
فَإِن تَابُوا وَأَقَامُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتَوُا الزَّكَاةَ فَإِخْوَانُكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ
“But if they repent, establish prayer, and give zakah, then they are your brothers in religion.”
㉘ إن بين الرجل وبين الشرك والكفر ترك الصلاة
“Between a man and shirk and kufr is the abandonment of prayer.”
㉙ قال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم ليس بين العبد والشرك إلا ترك الصلاة فإذا تركها فقد أشرك
“The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ‘There is nothing between a servant and shirk except abandoning prayer; if he abandons it, he has committed shirk.’”
㉚ فمن تركها متعمدا فقد خرج من الملة
“Whoever abandons it deliberately has exited the religion.”
㉛ عن المغيرة بن شعبة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الله حرم عليكم عقوق الأمهات
Al-Mughirah ibn Shu‘bah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Allah has forbidden for you disobedience to mothers…”
㉜ عن معاذ بن جبل قال أوصاني رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم بعشر كلمات قال لا تشرك بالله شيئا وإن قتلت أو حرقت ولا تعقن والديك وإن أمراك أن تخرج من أهلك ومالك
Mu‘adh ibn Jabal رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم advised me with ten words… “Do not associate anything with Allah—even if you are killed or burned—and do not disobey your parents even if they command you to leave your family and your wealth.”
㉝ عن عبد الرحمن بن أبى بكرة عن أبيه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر قال ثلاثا قالوا بلى يا رسول الله قال الإشراك بالله وعقوق الوالدين
Abu Bakrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Shall I not inform you of the greatest major sins?” … “Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents.”
㉞ عن أبى أمامة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاثة لا يقبل الله منهم صرفا ولا عدلا عاق ومنان ومكذب بالقدر
Abu Umamah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Allah does not accept from three people any obligatory or voluntary deed: the undutiful to parents, the one who reminds others of his favors, and the one who denies divine decree.”
فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا
“So do not say to them even ‘uff,’ and do not scold them.”
Benefit (as stated): Even if parents say something you dislike due to old age, you must not respond in a way that harms them.
㉟ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله فقال جئت أبايعك علىٰ الهجرة وتركت أبوي يبكيان قال ارجع إليهما فأضحكهما كما أبكيتهما
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “I came to pledge allegiance to you upon migration, and I left my parents weeping.” He said: “Return to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.”
㊱ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال رغم أنفه ثم رغم أنفه ثم رغم أنفه قيل من يا رسول الله قال من أدرك أبويه عند الكبر أحدهما أو كليهما فلم يدخل الجنة
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “May his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust!” It was said: “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “The one who reaches his parents in their old age—one or both—and then does not enter Paradise (by serving them).”
㊲ عن أبى هريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم رقي المنبر فقال آمين آمين آمين فقيل له يا رسول الله ما كنت تصنع هذا فقال قال لي جبريل رغم أنف عبد أدرك رمضان فانسلخ منه لم يغفر له فقلت آمين ثم قال رغم أنف عبد أدرك والديه أو أحدهما فلم يدخله الجنة فقلت آمين ثم قال رغم أنف عبد ذكرت عنده فلم يصل عليك فقلت آمين
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم ascended the minbar and said: “Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.” He explained that Jibril said: “May the one who reaches Ramadan and then it passes and he is not forgiven be humiliated”—so he said: “Ameen.” Then: “May the one who reaches his parents, or one of them, and does not enter Paradise be humiliated”—so he said: “Ameen.” Then: “May the one in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you be humiliated”—so he said: “Ameen.”
㊳ عن أبى هريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال ملعون من عمل عمل قوم لوط ملعون من عمل عمل قوم لوط ملعون من عمل عمل قوم لوط ملعون من ذبح لغير الله ملعون من عق والديه
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Cursed is the one who does the action of the people of Lut,” (three times), and: “Cursed is the one who slaughters for other than Allah; cursed is the one who is undutiful to his parents.”
㊴ عن أبى الطفيل عامر بن وائلة قال كنت عند على بن أبى طالب فأتاه رجل فقال ما كان النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم يسر إليك قال فغضب وقال ما كان النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم يسر إلى شيئا يكتمه الناس غير أنه قد حدثني بكلمات أربع قال فقال ما هن يا أمير المؤمنين قال قال لعن الله من لعن والده لعن الله من ذبح لغير الله لعن الله من آوى محدثا لعن الله من غير منار الأرض
Abu al-Tufayl ‘Amir ibn Wathilah said: I was with ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عنه when a man asked him: “What secret did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم confide in you?” ‘Ali became angry and said that the Prophet did not confide anything that he concealed from people except that he told him four statements: “Allah curses the one who curses his parents; Allah curses the one who slaughters for other than Allah; Allah curses the one who shelters an innovator/offender; Allah curses the one who alters the boundary markers of the land.”
㊵ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن من أكبر الكبائر أن يلعن الرجل والديه قيل يا رسول الله وكيف يلعن الرجل والديه قال يسب الرجل أبا الرجل فيسب أباه ويسب أمه فيسب أمه
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Among the greatest major sins is that a man curses his parents.” It was said: “How does a man curse his parents?” He said: “He insults another man’s father and that man insults his father; and he insults another man’s mother and that man insults his mother.”
㊶ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من الكبائر أن يشتم الرجل والديه قالوا يا رسول الله وهل يشتم الرجل والديه قال نعم يسب أبا الرجل فيسب أباه ويسب أمه فيسب أمه
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “It is among the major sins that a man insults his parents.” They said: “Does a man insult his parents?” He said: “Yes—he insults another man’s father and that man insults his father; and he insults another man’s mother and that man insults his mother.”
㊷ عن عبد الله بن عمرو عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يدخل الجنة منان ولا عاق ولا مدمن خمر
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “He will not enter Paradise: the one who constantly reminds others of his favors, the one undutiful to parents, and the habitual drinker of wine.”
㊸ عن عمرو بن مرة الجهني قال جاء رجل إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله شهدت أن لا إله إلا الله وأنك رسول الله وصليت الخمس وأديت زكاة مالي وصمت رمضان فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم من مات علىٰ هذا كان مع النبيين والصديقين والشهداء يوم القيامة هكذا ونصب إصبعيه ما لم يعق والديه
‘Amr ibn Murrah al-Juhani رضي الله عنه said: A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that you are the Messenger of Allah; I pray the five prayers, pay zakah, and fast Ramadan.” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Whoever dies upon this will be with the Prophets, the truthful, and the martyrs on the Day of Resurrection”—and he raised two fingers—“so long as he is not undutiful to his parents.”
㊹ عن جبير بن مطعم أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يدخل الجنة قاطع رحم
Jubayr ibn Mut‘im رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The one who severs kinship ties will not enter Paradise.”
Benefit: If severing general family ties is so severe, then severing ties with parents is even more severe.
㊺ عن عبد الله قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاثة لا ينظر الله عز وجل إليهم يوم القيامة العاق لوالديه والمرأة المترجلة والديوث وثلاثة لا يدخلون الجنة العاق لوالديه والمدمن علىٰ الخمر والمنان بما أعطى
‘Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Three people Allah will not look at on the Day of Resurrection: the one undutiful to his parents, the woman who imitates men, and the cuckold (dayyuth). And three will not enter Paradise: the one undutiful to his parents, the habitual drinker of wine, and the one who reminds others of what he gave.”
㊻ عن أبى بكرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ما من ذنب أجدر أن يعجل الله تعالى لصاحبه العقوبة فى الدنيا مع ما يدخر له فى الآخرة من البغي وقطيعة الرحم
Abu Bakrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “There is no sin more deserving that Allah hasten its punishment in this world—along with what is stored for it in the Hereafter—than oppression and severing kinship ties.”
Benefit: Parents are the closest and greatest kinship tie; neglecting them can bring swift worldly consequences, in addition to the Hereafter.
㊼ عن العوام بن حوشب قال نزلت مرة حيا وإلىٰ جانب ذلك الحي مقبرة فلما كان بعد العصر انشق منها قبر فخرج رجل رأسه رأس حمار وجسده جسد إنسان فنهق ثلاث نهقات ثم انطبق عليه القبر فإذا عجوز تغزل شعرا أو صوفا فقالت امرأة ترىٰ تلك العجوز قلت ما لها قالت تلك أم هذا قلت وما كان قصته قالت كان يشرب الخمر فإذا راح تقول له أمه يا بني اتق الله إلىٰ متىٰ تشرب هذه الخمر فيقول لها إنك تنهقين كما ينهق الحمار قالت فمات بعد العصر قالت فهو ينشق عنه القبر بعد العصر كل يوم فينهق ثلاث نهقات ثم ينطبق عليه القبر
Al-‘Awwam ibn Hawshab said: I once stayed among a tribe near whose settlement there was a graveyard. After ‘Asr, a grave split open and a man emerged whose head was like a donkey’s head and whose body was a human body. He brayed three times, then the grave closed over him. An old woman was there spinning wool. Someone said: “Do you see that old woman?” It was said: “She is his mother.” He asked about his story, and it was said: He used to drink wine, and when he returned home his mother would advise him, but he would insult her. He died after ‘Asr, and every day after ‘Asr the grave opens for him, he brays three times, and then it closes over him.
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
“But if they strive against you to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them; but accompany them in this world with kindness.”
(The source cites the incident of Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqas رضي الله عنه in connection with this verse.)
㊽ عن على أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا طاعة فى معصية الله إنما الطاعة فى المعروف
‘Ali رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “There is no obedience in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in what is right.”
㊾ عن النواس بن سمعان قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا طاعة لمخلوق فى معصية الخالق
Al-Nawwas ibn Sam‘an رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “There is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator.”
㊿ عن على قال بعث النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم سرية فاستعمل عليهم رجلا من الأنصار وأمرهم أن يطيعوه فغضب عليهم فقال أليس أمركم النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أن تطيعوني قالوا بلى قال قد عزمت عليكم لما جمعتم لي حطبا وأوقدتم نارا ثم دخلتم فيها فجمعوا حطبا فأوقدوا فلما هموا بالدخول فجعل بعضهم ينظر إلىٰ بعض فقال قوم إنما تبعنا النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فرارا من النار أفندخلها فبينما هم كذلك خمدت النار وسكن غضبه فذكر للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال لو دخلوها ما خرجوا منها أبدا إنما الطاعة فى المعروف
‘Ali رضي الله عنه narrated: The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم sent out a detachment and appointed a man from the Ansar as their leader and commanded them to obey him. He became angry and ordered them to gather wood, light a fire, and enter it. They hesitated, saying: “We only followed the Prophet to be saved from the Fire—should we enter it?” The fire went out and the leader calmed down. When this was mentioned to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he said: “If they had entered it, they would never have come out of it. Obedience is only in what is right.”
عن عبد الله عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال السمع والطاعة على المرء المسلم فيما أحب وكره ما لم يؤمر بمعصية فإذا أمر بمعصية فلا سمع ولا طاعة
‘Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Listening and obeying is required upon a Muslim in what he likes and dislikes, so long as he is not commanded to commit disobedience. If he is commanded to commit disobedience, then there is no listening and no obedience.”
Conclusion (as stated in the source): Parents (and anyone else) are not obeyed in anything that contradicts the Shari‘ah.
فتفكر وتدبر وكن من الصالحين العاملين
“So reflect and ponder, and be among the righteous who act.”
The source states that the correct view is that people will be called by their fathers’ names, and it cites Imam al-Bukhari’s chapter title:
باب ما يدعى الناس بآبائهم
“Chapter: People will be called by their fathers.”
52 ) عن ابن عمر عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الغادر يرفع له لواء يوم القيامة يقال هذه غدر فلان بن فلان
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “For the traitor, a banner will be raised on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said: ‘This is the treachery of so-and-so son of so-and-so.’”
Benefit (as stated): Reports that claim people will be called by their mothers’ names are described in the source as weak.
The Qur’anic Command to Treat Parents Well
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show excellence (good treatment) to your parents.”
Reference: Qur’an 17:23 (Surah al-Isra’)
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا
“And We have enjoined upon man to treat his parents with excellence. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship.”
Reference: Qur’an 46:15 (Surah al-Ahqaf)
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“And We have instructed man concerning his parents: his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final return.”
Reference: Qur’an 31:14 (Surah Luqman)
وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّهَ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“And [remember] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel: ‘Worship none but Allah, and treat parents with excellence…’”
Reference: Qur’an 2:83 (Surah al-Baqarah)
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا
“And We have instructed man to treat his parents with kindness.”
Reference: Qur’an 29:8 (Surah al-‘Ankabut)
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and treat parents with excellence.”
Reference: Qur’an 4:36 (Surah al-Nisa’)
Kindness Even to Non-Muslim Parents
① عن أسماء بنت أبى بكر قالت أتتني أمي راغبة فى عهد النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فسألت النبى أصلها قال نعم وفي رواية قدمت أمي وهى مشركة
Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (رضي الله عنهما) said: “My mother came to me during the time of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, and she was a polytheist. I asked the Prophet: ‘Should I keep ties with her?’ He said: ‘Yes.’ (In another narration: ‘My mother came to me while she was a polytheist.’)”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners (al-Adab), Chapter: Maintaining ties with a polytheist parent: 5978
Who Deserves the Greatest Kindness?
② عن أبى هريرة قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله من أحق بحسن صحابتي قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال ثم أبوك
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه said: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Who is most entitled to my excellent companionship?” He replied: “Your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” He asked: “Then who?” He replied: “Then your father.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners: 5971; Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness & Ties: 6501
③ عن بهز بن حكيم عن أبيه عن جده قال قلت يا رسول الله من أبر قال أمك ثم أمك ثم أمك ثم أباك
A Companion narrated: “I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah, whom should I treat with greatest righteousness?’ He said: ‘Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father.’”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Chapter: Dutifulness to Parents: 5139 (graded hasan)
④ عن المقدام بن معديكرب أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الله يوصيكم بأمهاتكم ثلاثا إن الله يوصيكم بآبائكم
Al-Miqdam ibn Ma‘dikarib رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers,” three times. “Allah enjoins you concerning your fathers.”
Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah, Book of Manners, Chapter: Dutifulness to Parents: 3661 (graded sahih)
Among the Most Beloved Deeds
⑤ عن عبد الله قال سألت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أى العمل أحب إلى الله قال الصلاة على وقتها قال ثم أى قال ثم بر الوالدين قال ثم أى قال الجهاد فى سبيل الله
‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud رضي الله عنه said: I asked the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: “Which deed is most beloved to Allah?” He said: “Prayer at its proper time.” I asked: “Then which?” He said: “Kind treatment of parents.” I asked: “Then which?” He said: “Jihad in the path of Allah.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: “And We have enjoined man concerning his parents…”: 5970
Allah’s Pleasure Is Tied to Parents’ Pleasure
⑥ عن عبد الله بن عمرو عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال رضى الرب فى رضى الوالد وسخط الرب فى سخط الوالد
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parent, and the anger of the Lord is in the anger of the parent.”
Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Book of Righteousness & Ties, Chapter: Virtue of pleasing parents: 1899; Ibn Hibban: 328; al-Mustadrak: 7331
Note (as mentioned in the source): In this hadith, “والد” (parent) refers to both mother and father.
⋆ المراد بالوالد الجنس او اذا كان حكم الوالد هذا فحكم الوالدة اقوى وبالاعتبار اولى
Meaning: “The word ‘parent’ here is used as a general term; and if this is the ruling regarding the father, then the ruling regarding the mother is even stronger and more deserving.”
Reference: Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi (as cited in the source)
Benefit (as stated): If a person’s parents are pleased with him, then (in the sense of obedience to Islam) Allah is pleased with him; and if they are displeased with him, then Allah is displeased with him.
⑦ عن عبد الرحمن بن عوف قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول قال الله تعالى أنا الرحمن وهى الرحم شققت لها من اسمي من وصلها وصلته ومن قطعها بتته
‘Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf رضي الله عنه said: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say that Allah تعالى said: “I am al-Rahman, and it is al-Rahim (the kinship tie). I derived its name from My Name. Whoever maintains it, I will maintain ties with him; and whoever cuts it, I will cut him off.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Zakah, Chapter: Maintaining ties of kinship: 1694 (graded sahih)
Benefit: Whoever maintains family ties, Allah تعالى will maintain His connection with him; and whoever severs them, Allah will sever him. Among all relatives, the greatest right of maintaining ties belongs to parents.
Parents Are the Best Gate to Paradise
⑧ عن أبى الدرداء قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول الوالد أوسط أبواب الجنة فإن شئت فأضع ذلك الباب أو احفظه
Abu al-Darda’ رضي الله عنه said: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say: “The parent is the best (central) gate of Paradise. If you wish, neglect that gate (by displeasing him), or preserve it (by serving him).”
Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Book of Righteousness & Ties: 1900; Sunan Ibn Majah, Book of Divorce: 2089 (graded sahih)
⑨ عن عائشة قالت قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم دخلت الجنة فسمعت فيها قراءة فقلت من هذا قالوا حارثة بن النعمان فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم كذلكم البر كذلكم البر وكان أبر الناس بأمه
‘A’ishah رضي الله عنها said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “I entered Paradise and heard recitation in it. I asked: ‘Who is this?’ They said: ‘Harithah ibn al-Nu‘man.’ The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ‘Such is righteousness, such is righteousness!’ And he was among the most dutiful of people to his mother.”
Reference: Al-Mustadrak (al-Hakim): 7247; also in al-Silsilah al-Sahihah: 913 (as cited in the source)
Paradise Is at the Mother’s Feet
⑩ عن معاوية بن جاهمة أن جاهمة جاء إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئت أستشيرك فقال هل لك من أم قال نعم قال فالزمها فإن الجنة عند رجليها
Mu‘awiyah ibn Jahmah narrated that Jahmah came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I intended to go out for battle, and I came to consult you.” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He replied: “Yes.” He said: “Then stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.”
Reference: Sunan al-Nasa’i, Book of Jihad, Chapter: Concession for staying back for one who has a mother: 3104 (graded hasan sahih in the source wording)
⑪ عن جاهمة قال أتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أستشيره فى الجهاد فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم ألك والدان قلت نعم قال الزمهما فإن الجنة تحت أرجلھما
Jahmah رضي الله عنه said: I came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم seeking consultation about jihad. He asked: “Do you have parents?” I said: “Yes.” He said: “Stay with them, for Paradise is beneath their feet.”
Reference: Al-Mu‘jam al-Kabir (al-Tabarani) 2/289, no. 2202; Majma‘ al-Zawa’id 8/138 (as cited: narrators trustworthy)
Benefit (as stated): “Paradise beneath their feet” means that through obeying and serving them, Allah grants a person Paradise. It does not mean that Paradise is under the feet of the wife.
Parents’ Du‘a Is Accepted; Parents’ Rights Come Before Voluntary Worship
⑫ عن أبى هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاث دعوات مستجابات لا شك فيهن دعوة المظلوم ودعوة المسافر ودعوة الوالد على ولده
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Three supplications are answered—there is no doubt about them: the supplication of the oppressed, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of a parent against (or for) his child.”
Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Chapter: Supplication of parents: 1905 (graded hasan); Sunan Ibn Majah, Chapter: Supplication of the parent and the oppressed: 3862
⑬ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لم يتكلم فى المهد إلا ثلاثة عيسى ابن مريم وصاحب جريج وكان جريج رجلا عابدا فاتخذ صومعة فكان فيها فأتته أمه وهو يصلي فقالت يا جريج فقال يا رب أمي وصلاتي فأقبل علىٰ صلاته فانصرفت فلما كان من الغد أتته وهو يصلي فقالت يا جريج فقال يا رب أمي وصلاتي فأقبل علىٰ صلاته فانصرفت فلما كان من الغد أتته وهو يصلي فقالت يا جريج فقال يا رب أمي وصلاتي فأقبل علىٰ صلاته فقالت اللهم لا تمته حتىٰ ينظر إلىٰ وجوه المومسات فتذاكر بنو إسرائيل جريجا وعبادته وكانت امرأة بغي يتمثل بحسنها فقالت إن شئتم لأفتننه لكم قال فتعرضت له فلم يلتفت إليها فأتت راعيا كان يأوي إلىٰ صومعته فأمكنته من نفسها فوقع عليها فحملت فلما ولدت قالت هو من جريج فأتوه فاستنزلوه وهدموا صومعته وجعلوا يضربونه فقال ما شأنكم قالوا زنيت بهذه البغي فولدت منك فقال أين الصبي فجاءوا به فقال دعوني حتىٰ أصلي فصلىٰ فلما انصرف أتى الصبي فطعن فى بطنه وقال يا غلام من أبوك قال فلان الراعي قال فأقبلوا علىٰ جريج يقبلونه ويتمسحون به وقالوا نبني لك صومعتك من ذهب قال لا أعيدوها كما كانت من طين ففعلوا وبينا صبي يرضع من أمه فمر رجل راكب علىٰ دابة فارهة وشارة حسنة فقالت أمه اللهم اجعل ابني مثل هذا فترك الثدي وأقبل إليه فنظر إليه فقال اللهم لا تجعلني مثله ثم أقبل علىٰ ثديه فجعل يرتضع قال فكأني أنظر إلىٰ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وهو يحكي ارتضاعه بإصبعه السبابة فى فيه فجعل يمصها قال ومروا بجارية وهم يضربونها ويقولون زنيت سرقت وهى تقول حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل فقالت أمه اللهم لا تجعل ابني مثلها فترك الرضاع ونظر إليها فقال اللهم اجعلني مثلها
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “No infant spoke in the cradle except three: ‘Isa ibn Maryam, the companion of Jurayj…” (then he mentioned the story of Jurayj). In summary: Jurayj was a devout worshipper who lived in a monastery. His mother came while he was praying and called him, but he chose to continue the prayer instead of answering her. She returned, and this happened again the next day, and again the third day. She then supplicated against him. Later, a prostitute tried to tempt him but failed, then she committed adultery with a shepherd and became pregnant, falsely accusing Jurayj. People attacked him, destroyed his monastery, and beat him. Jurayj asked to pray, then he went to the infant and asked: “O boy, who is your father?” The infant replied: “So-and-so, the shepherd.” The people then apologized and wanted to rebuild his monastery in gold, but he asked them to rebuild it as it was. The hadith also mentions another infant who spoke regarding a rider and a slave girl, explaining that outward appearances can be deceptive.
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness & Ties, Chapter: Giving precedence to dutifulness to parents over voluntary prayer and other acts: 6509
Benefit (as stated): From these narrations it is understood that a mother’s supplication (and even her curse) regarding her child is not rejected by Allah, and that harming parents can have severe consequences.
Obedience to Parents Is a Remedy for Worldly Hardships
⑭ عن ابن عمر عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال بينما ثلاثة نفر يتمشون أخذهم المطر فأووا إلىٰ غار فى جبل فانحطت علىٰ فم غارهم صخرة من الجبل فسدت عليهم فقال بعضهم لبعض انظروا أعمالا عملتموها لله صالحة فادعوا الله بها لعله يفرجها فقال أحدهم اللهم إنه كان لي والدان شيخان كبيران ولي امرأة ولي صغار كنت أرعى عليهم فإذا رحت عليهم فحلبت بدأت بوالدي أسقيهما قبل بني وإنه نأىٰ بي الشجر فما أتيت حتىٰ أمسيت فوجدتهما قد ناما فحلبت كما كنت أحلب فجئت بالقدح فقمت عند رءوسهما أكره أن أوقظهما من نومهما وأكره أن أسقي الصغار قبلهما والصغار يتضاغون عند قدمي فلم يزل ذلك دأبي ودأبهم حتىٰ طلع الفجر فإن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج لنا فرجة نرىٰ منها السماء ففرج الله لهم فرجة حتىٰ رأوا منها السماء وقال الثاني اللهم إنه كانت لي ابنة عم أحبها كأشد ما يحب الرجال النساء فطلبت إليها نفسها فأبت حتىٰ آتيها بمائة دينار فسعيت حتىٰ جمعت مائة دينار فأتيتها بها فلما قدرت بين رجليها قالت يا عبد الله اتق الله ولا تفتح الخاتم إلا بحقه فقمت عنها اللهم إن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج لنا منها فرجة ففرج لهم وقال الآخر اللهم إني كنت استأجرت أجيرا بفرق من أرز فلما قضىٰ عمله قال أعطني حقي فعرضت عليه حقه فرغب عنه فلم أزل أزرعه له حتىٰ جمعت منه بقرا وراعيها فجاءني فقال اتق الله ولا تظلمني فأعطني حقي فقلت اذهب إلىٰ تلك البقر وراعيها فخذها فقال اتق الله ولا تستهزئ بي فقلت إني لا أستهزئ بك خذ تلك البقر وراعيها فأخذها فذهب بها فإن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج ما بقي ففرج الله عنهم
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Three men were walking when rain caught them, so they sought shelter in a cave in a mountain. A rock slid down and blocked the entrance. They said to one another: ‘Look to the righteous deeds you did purely for Allah, and supplicate to Allah through them—perhaps He will relieve you.’ One of them mentioned his exceptional dutifulness to his elderly parents, another mentioned leaving a sinful act for Allah’s sake, and the third mentioned returning a worker’s right with complete honesty. Each one supplicated by his sincere deed, and Allah opened the cave for them until they were able to leave.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: Answering the supplication of one who was dutiful to his parents: 5974
Benefit: Serving parents can become a means by which Allah removes worldly difficulties and distress.
Dutifulness to Parents Is a Means for Forgiveness
⑮ عن ابن عمر أن رجلا أتى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إني أصبت ذنبا عظيما فهل لي توبة قال هل لك من أم قال لا قال هل لك من خالة قال نعم قال فبرها
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have committed a great sin—do I have repentance?” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: “No.” He said: “Do you have a maternal aunt?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then be dutiful to her.”
Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Book of Righteousness & Ties, Chapter: Dutifulness to the maternal aunt: 1904 (graded sahih)
⑯ عن ابن عمر قال أتى النبى رجل فقال يا رسول الله إني أذنبت ذنبا كبيرا فهل لي من توبة قال ألك والدان قال لا قال فلك خالة قال نعم فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فبرها إذا
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have committed many great sins—do I have repentance?” He said: “Do you have parents?” He said: “No.” He said: “Do you have a maternal aunt?” He said: “Yes.” The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Then be dutiful to her.”
Reference: Al-Mustadrak (al-Hakim): 7261
Benefit: From these narrations, the source concludes that dutifulness to parents (and close maternal relatives in their absence) is a means for Allah to forgive even major sins.
Dutifulness Brings Increase in Provision and Lifespan
⑰ عن أنس بن مالك قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول من سره أن يبسط له فى رزقه أو ينسأ له فى أثره فليصل رحمه
Anas ibn Malik رضي الله عنه narrated: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say: “Whoever would like his provision to be expanded and his lifespan (trace) to be extended, let him maintain ties of kinship.”
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness & Ties, Chapter: Maintaining kinship ties and prohibition of severing them: 6523
⑱ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى قال تعلموا من أنسابكم ما تصلون به أرحامكم فإن صلة الرحم محبة فى الأهل مثراة فى المال منسأة فى الأثر
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Learn enough of your lineage to maintain your kinship ties, for maintaining kinship brings love among family, increase in wealth, and extension in lifespan.”
Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Book of Righteousness & Ties, Chapter: Learning lineage: 1979 (graded sahih)
Jihad Requires Parents’ Permission When It Is Not Individually Obligatory
⑲ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله فاستأذنه فى الجهاد فقال أحيا والداك قال نعم قال ففيهما فجاهد
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم seeking permission for jihad. He said: “Are your parents alive?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then strive (make jihad) in serving them.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Jihad, Chapter: Jihad with the permission of parents: 3004
⑳ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال أتى رجل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إني جئت أريد الجهاد معك أبتغي وجه الله والدار الآخرة ولقد أتيت وإن والدي ليبكيان قال فارجع إليهما فأضحكهما كما أبكيتهما
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I came wanting to go for jihad with you, seeking Allah’s Face and the Hereafter, but I came while my parents were weeping.” He said: “Return to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.”
Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah, Book of Jihad, Chapter: A man goes to battle while he has parents: 2782; Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Jihad: 2528
㉑ أن رجلا هاجر إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من اليمن فقال هل لك أحد باليمن قال أبواي قال أذنا لك قال لا قال فارجع إليهما فاستأذنهما فإن أذنا لك فجاهد وإلا فبرهما
A man migrated from Yemen to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم. He said: “Do you have anyone in Yemen?” He said: “My parents.” He said: “Did they give you permission?” He said: “No.” He said: “Then return to them and seek their permission. If they permit you, then perform jihad; otherwise, be dutiful to them.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Jihad, Chapter: A man goes to battle while his parents dislike it: 2530
Objection (as mentioned): Some people cite the verse below to claim that parents’ permission is not required:
قُلْ إِن كَانَ آبَاؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَاؤُكُمْ وَإِخْوَانُكُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُكُمْ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمْ وَأَمْوَالٌ اقْتَرَفْتُمُوهَا وَتِجَارَةٌ تَخْشَوْنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَاكِنُ تَرْضَوْنَهَا أَحَبَّ إِلَيْكُم مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَجِهَادٍ فِي سَبِيلِهِ فَتَرَبَّصُوا حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَ اللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْفَاسِقِينَ
“Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, the wealth you have acquired, the trade you fear may decline, and the homes you are pleased with—if these are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His cause—then wait until Allah brings His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient.”
Reference: Qur’an 9:24 (Surah al-Tawbah)
Answer (as presented in the source): Those who require parents’ permission are not preferring parents over Allah and His Messenger; rather, they are following the Messenger’s instruction—so their ruling is based on obedience to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
Note (as stated): Jihad remains until the Day of Resurrection:
الجهاد ماض إلى يوم القيامة.
“Jihad continues until the Day of Resurrection.”
Reference: Statement cited in the source (as written)
Fatwa cited (Hafiz ‘Abd al-Mannan Nurpuri رحمه الله): In the types of jihad discussed, seeking parents’ permission is necessary, based on hadith in al-Bukhari and Abi Dawud. Going without permission is described as a major sin due to عقوق الوالدين (undutifulness).
Reference: Ahkam wa Masa’il, vol. 1, p. 461 (as cited)
Fatwa cited (Shaykh Hafiz ‘Abd al-Salam Bhattwi رحمه الله): The majority of scholars say that if one or both parents forbid (and they are Muslim), then jihad is prohibited when it is فرض كفاية (communal obligation), because serving parents is an individual obligation; but when jihad becomes فرض عين (individually obligatory), permission is not required.
Reference: Fath al-Bari (discussion cited in the source)
Cases when jihad becomes individually obligatory (as listed in the source):
⑴ When the enemy attacks or occupies Muslim lands.
⑵ When the leader commands a specific group/person to go out.
وإذا استنفرتم فانفروا
“When you are called to go forth, then go forth.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari: 2825 (as cited)
⑶ When battle has begun and one is present on the battlefield:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا لَقِيتُمُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا زَحْفًا فَلَا تُوَلُّوهُمُ الْأَدْبَارَ
“O you who believe, when you meet those who disbelieve advancing (for battle), do not turn your backs to them.”
Reference: Qur’an 8:15 (Surah al-Anfal)
A Child’s Wealth and the Parents’ Right
㉒ عن عمرو بن شعيب عن أبيه عن جده أن رجلا أتى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إن لي مالا وولدا وإن والدي يحتاج مالي قال أنت ومالك لوالدك إن أولادكم من أطيب كسبكم فكلوا من كسب أولادكم
A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have wealth and children, and my father needs my wealth.” He said: “You and your wealth belong to your father. Indeed, your children are among the best of your earnings, so eat from your children’s earnings.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Sales, Chapter: A man eating from his child’s wealth: 3530 (graded hasan)
Benefit (as stated): If parents are in need, they have a right to take from their child’s wealth—while avoiding injustice and maintaining fairness between children.
Divorce at a Parent’s Command
㉓ عن عبد الله بن عمر قال كانت تحتي امرأة وكنت أحبها وكان عمر يكرهها فقال لي طلقها فأبيت فأتى عمر النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فذكر ذلك له فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم طلقها
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما said: I had a wife whom I loved, but ‘Umar (my father) disliked her. He told me to divorce her, but I refused. ‘Umar went to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and mentioned it to him, so the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Divorce her.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Manners, Chapter: Dutifulness to parents: 5138 (graded sahih)
㉔ عن أبى الدرداء قال إن رجلا أتاه فقال إن لي امرأة وإن أمي تأمرني بطلاقها فقال أبو الدرداء سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول الوالد أوسط أبواب الجنة فإن شئت فأضع ذلك الباب أو احفظه
A man came to Abu al-Darda’ رضي الله عنه and said: “I have a wife, and my mother commands me to divorce her.” Abu al-Darda’ said: I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say: “The parent is the best gate of Paradise; if you wish, neglect that gate or preserve it.”
Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Book of Righteousness & Ties: 1900 (graded sahih)
Note (as stated): “Parent” here refers to both parents.
Benefit (as explained in the source): If parents command divorce due to a genuine, shar‘i reason and real harm, the child should obey. If they command something against the Shari‘ah, that is not obeyed.
Can a Child Ever Fully Repay a Parent?
㉕ عن أبى هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا يجزي ولد والدا إلا أن يجده مملوكا فيشتريه فيعتقه
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A child cannot fully repay his parent unless he finds him enslaved, buys him, and then frees him.”
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Emancipation, Chapter: Virtue of freeing one’s parent: 3799; Sunan al-Tirmidhi: 1906
Benefit: Even lifelong service cannot fully repay parents’ rights.
Maintaining Ties with a Father’s Friends After His Death
㉖ عن ابن عمر قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن أبر البر صلة المرء أهل ود ابيه بعد ان يولي
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Among the greatest forms of righteousness is that a person maintains ties with the friends of his father after his father has passed away.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Manners, Chapter: Dutifulness to parents: 5143 (graded sahih)
Supplicating for Parents
رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“My Lord, have mercy upon them as they raised me when I was small.”
Reference: Qur’an 17:24 (Surah al-Isra’)
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ
“Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers on the Day the account is established.”
Reference: Qur’an 14:41 (Surah Ibrahim)
㉗ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال القنطار اثنا عشر ألف أوقية كل أوقية خير مما بين السماء والأرض وقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن الرجل لترفع درجته فى الجنة فيقول أنىٰ هذا فيقال باستغفار ولدك لك
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A qintar is twelve thousand uqiyyah; every uqiyyah is better than what is between the heavens and the earth.” And the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Indeed, a man’s rank is raised in Paradise, so he says: ‘How is this (for me)?’ It is said: ‘By your child seeking forgiveness for you.’”
Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah, Book of Manners, Chapter: Dutifulness to parents: 3660 (graded hasan in the source)
Seeking Forgiveness for Deceased Polytheist Parents Is Prohibited
مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِيِّ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَن يَسْتَغْفِرُوا لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ وَلَوْ كَانُوا أُولِي قُرْبَىٰ مِن بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُمْ أَصْحَابُ الْجَحِيمِ
“It is not for the Prophet and those who believe to seek forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they are close relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of the Hellfire.”
Reference: Qur’an 9:113 (Surah al-Tawbah)
(The source then states its ruling regarding parents who die upon shirk.)
Texts Cited About Abandoning Prayer
فَإِن تَابُوا وَأَقَامُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتَوُا الزَّكَاةَ فَإِخْوَانُكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ
“But if they repent, establish prayer, and give zakah, then they are your brothers in religion.”
Reference: Qur’an 9:11 (Surah al-Tawbah)
㉘ إن بين الرجل وبين الشرك والكفر ترك الصلاة
“Between a man and shirk and kufr is the abandonment of prayer.”
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Faith, Chapter: Applying the term kufr to one who abandons prayer: 246
㉙ قال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم ليس بين العبد والشرك إلا ترك الصلاة فإذا تركها فقد أشرك
“The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ‘There is nothing between a servant and shirk except abandoning prayer; if he abandons it, he has committed shirk.’”
Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah, Chapters on Mosques & Congregations: 1080 (chain discussed in the source)
㉚ فمن تركها متعمدا فقد خرج من الملة
“Whoever abandons it deliberately has exited the religion.”
Reference: Al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib: 797 (graded hasan in the source)
Disobedience to Parents Is Forbidden and Among the Greatest Major Sins
㉛ عن المغيرة بن شعبة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الله حرم عليكم عقوق الأمهات
Al-Mughirah ibn Shu‘bah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Allah has forbidden for you disobedience to mothers…”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: Undutifulness to parents is among the major sins (as cited): 5974
㉜ عن معاذ بن جبل قال أوصاني رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم بعشر كلمات قال لا تشرك بالله شيئا وإن قتلت أو حرقت ولا تعقن والديك وإن أمراك أن تخرج من أهلك ومالك
Mu‘adh ibn Jabal رضي الله عنه said: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم advised me with ten words… “Do not associate anything with Allah—even if you are killed or burned—and do not disobey your parents even if they command you to leave your family and your wealth.”
Reference: Sahih al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib, Chapter: Warning against disobedience to parents: 2516
㉝ عن عبد الرحمن بن أبى بكرة عن أبيه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر قال ثلاثا قالوا بلى يا رسول الله قال الإشراك بالله وعقوق الوالدين
Abu Bakrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Shall I not inform you of the greatest major sins?” … “Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: Undutifulness to parents is among the major sins: 5976
㉞ عن أبى أمامة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاثة لا يقبل الله منهم صرفا ولا عدلا عاق ومنان ومكذب بالقدر
Abu Umamah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Allah does not accept from three people any obligatory or voluntary deed: the undutiful to parents, the one who reminds others of his favors, and the one who denies divine decree.”
Reference: Kitab al-Sunnah by Ibn Abi ‘Asim: 323 (graded hasan by al-Albani, as cited)
Do Not Say “Uff” to Them and Do Not Scold Them
فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا
“So do not say to them even ‘uff,’ and do not scold them.”
Reference: Qur’an 17:23 (Surah al-Isra’)
Benefit (as stated): Even if parents say something you dislike due to old age, you must not respond in a way that harms them.
Do Not Cause Parents Distress
㉟ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله فقال جئت أبايعك علىٰ الهجرة وتركت أبوي يبكيان قال ارجع إليهما فأضحكهما كما أبكيتهما
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated: A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “I came to pledge allegiance to you upon migration, and I left my parents weeping.” He said: “Return to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Jihad, Chapter: A man goes out while his parents dislike it: 2528 (graded sahih)
Humiliation for the One Who Neglects His Aging Parents
㊱ عن أبى هريرة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال رغم أنفه ثم رغم أنفه ثم رغم أنفه قيل من يا رسول الله قال من أدرك أبويه عند الكبر أحدهما أو كليهما فلم يدخل الجنة
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “May his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust!” It was said: “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “The one who reaches his parents in their old age—one or both—and then does not enter Paradise (by serving them).”
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness & Ties, Chapter: Humiliation for one who reaches his parents in old age yet does not enter Paradise: 6510
Jibril’s Supplication Against the One Who Neglects Parents
㊲ عن أبى هريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم رقي المنبر فقال آمين آمين آمين فقيل له يا رسول الله ما كنت تصنع هذا فقال قال لي جبريل رغم أنف عبد أدرك رمضان فانسلخ منه لم يغفر له فقلت آمين ثم قال رغم أنف عبد أدرك والديه أو أحدهما فلم يدخله الجنة فقلت آمين ثم قال رغم أنف عبد ذكرت عنده فلم يصل عليك فقلت آمين
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم ascended the minbar and said: “Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.” He explained that Jibril said: “May the one who reaches Ramadan and then it passes and he is not forgiven be humiliated”—so he said: “Ameen.” Then: “May the one who reaches his parents, or one of them, and does not enter Paradise be humiliated”—so he said: “Ameen.” Then: “May the one in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you be humiliated”—so he said: “Ameen.”
Reference: Sahih Ibn Khuzaymah: 1888 (as cited in the source)
The Undutiful Child Is Cursed
㊳ عن أبى هريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال ملعون من عمل عمل قوم لوط ملعون من عمل عمل قوم لوط ملعون من عمل عمل قوم لوط ملعون من ذبح لغير الله ملعون من عق والديه
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Cursed is the one who does the action of the people of Lut,” (three times), and: “Cursed is the one who slaughters for other than Allah; cursed is the one who is undutiful to his parents.”
Reference: Al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib, Chapter: Warning against disobedience to parents: 2515 (graded hasan by al-Albani, as cited)
Cursed Is the One Who Abuses Parents
㊴ عن أبى الطفيل عامر بن وائلة قال كنت عند على بن أبى طالب فأتاه رجل فقال ما كان النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم يسر إليك قال فغضب وقال ما كان النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم يسر إلى شيئا يكتمه الناس غير أنه قد حدثني بكلمات أربع قال فقال ما هن يا أمير المؤمنين قال قال لعن الله من لعن والده لعن الله من ذبح لغير الله لعن الله من آوى محدثا لعن الله من غير منار الأرض
Abu al-Tufayl ‘Amir ibn Wathilah said: I was with ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عنه when a man asked him: “What secret did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم confide in you?” ‘Ali became angry and said that the Prophet did not confide anything that he concealed from people except that he told him four statements: “Allah curses the one who curses his parents; Allah curses the one who slaughters for other than Allah; Allah curses the one who shelters an innovator/offender; Allah curses the one who alters the boundary markers of the land.”
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Sacrifices, Chapter: Prohibition of slaughtering for other than Allah and cursing the doer: 5124
㊵ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن من أكبر الكبائر أن يلعن الرجل والديه قيل يا رسول الله وكيف يلعن الرجل والديه قال يسب الرجل أبا الرجل فيسب أباه ويسب أمه فيسب أمه
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Among the greatest major sins is that a man curses his parents.” It was said: “How does a man curse his parents?” He said: “He insults another man’s father and that man insults his father; and he insults another man’s mother and that man insults his mother.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: A man should not insult his parents: 5973
㊶ عن عبد الله بن عمرو قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من الكبائر أن يشتم الرجل والديه قالوا يا رسول الله وهل يشتم الرجل والديه قال نعم يسب أبا الرجل فيسب أباه ويسب أمه فيسب أمه
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “It is among the major sins that a man insults his parents.” They said: “Does a man insult his parents?” He said: “Yes—he insults another man’s father and that man insults his father; and he insults another man’s mother and that man insults his mother.”
Reference: Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Book of Righteousness & Ties, Chapter: Undutifulness to parents: 1902 (graded sahih)
The Undutiful Child Is Deprived of Paradise
㊷ عن عبد الله بن عمرو عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يدخل الجنة منان ولا عاق ولا مدمن خمر
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “He will not enter Paradise: the one who constantly reminds others of his favors, the one undutiful to parents, and the habitual drinker of wine.”
Reference: Sunan al-Nasa’i, Book of Drinks, Chapter: Narration about the habitual drinkers: 5672 (as cited)
㊸ عن عمرو بن مرة الجهني قال جاء رجل إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله شهدت أن لا إله إلا الله وأنك رسول الله وصليت الخمس وأديت زكاة مالي وصمت رمضان فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم من مات علىٰ هذا كان مع النبيين والصديقين والشهداء يوم القيامة هكذا ونصب إصبعيه ما لم يعق والديه
‘Amr ibn Murrah al-Juhani رضي الله عنه said: A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that you are the Messenger of Allah; I pray the five prayers, pay zakah, and fast Ramadan.” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Whoever dies upon this will be with the Prophets, the truthful, and the martyrs on the Day of Resurrection”—and he raised two fingers—“so long as he is not undutiful to his parents.”
Reference: Al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib, Chapter: Warning against disobedience to parents: 2515 (graded sahih by al-Albani, as cited)
Cutting Family Ties Bars Entry Into Paradise
㊹ عن جبير بن مطعم أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يدخل الجنة قاطع رحم
Jubayr ibn Mut‘im رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The one who severs kinship ties will not enter Paradise.”
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness, Ties, and Etiquette, Chapter: Maintaining kinship ties and prohibition of severing them: 6521
Benefit: If severing general family ties is so severe, then severing ties with parents is even more severe.
Allah Will Not Look at Them on the Day of Resurrection
㊺ عن عبد الله قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاثة لا ينظر الله عز وجل إليهم يوم القيامة العاق لوالديه والمرأة المترجلة والديوث وثلاثة لا يدخلون الجنة العاق لوالديه والمدمن علىٰ الخمر والمنان بما أعطى
‘Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Three people Allah will not look at on the Day of Resurrection: the one undutiful to his parents, the woman who imitates men, and the cuckold (dayyuth). And three will not enter Paradise: the one undutiful to his parents, the habitual drinker of wine, and the one who reminds others of what he gave.”
Reference: Sunan al-Nasa’i, Book of Zakah, Chapter: The one who reminds others of his charity: 2562 (graded sahih)
Worldly Punishment for Severing Ties
㊻ عن أبى بكرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ما من ذنب أجدر أن يعجل الله تعالى لصاحبه العقوبة فى الدنيا مع ما يدخر له فى الآخرة من البغي وقطيعة الرحم
Abu Bakrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “There is no sin more deserving that Allah hasten its punishment in this world—along with what is stored for it in the Hereafter—than oppression and severing kinship ties.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Manners, Chapter: Prohibition of بغى (transgression): 4902 (graded sahih)
Benefit: Parents are the closest and greatest kinship tie; neglecting them can bring swift worldly consequences, in addition to the Hereafter.
㊼ عن العوام بن حوشب قال نزلت مرة حيا وإلىٰ جانب ذلك الحي مقبرة فلما كان بعد العصر انشق منها قبر فخرج رجل رأسه رأس حمار وجسده جسد إنسان فنهق ثلاث نهقات ثم انطبق عليه القبر فإذا عجوز تغزل شعرا أو صوفا فقالت امرأة ترىٰ تلك العجوز قلت ما لها قالت تلك أم هذا قلت وما كان قصته قالت كان يشرب الخمر فإذا راح تقول له أمه يا بني اتق الله إلىٰ متىٰ تشرب هذه الخمر فيقول لها إنك تنهقين كما ينهق الحمار قالت فمات بعد العصر قالت فهو ينشق عنه القبر بعد العصر كل يوم فينهق ثلاث نهقات ثم ينطبق عليه القبر
Al-‘Awwam ibn Hawshab said: I once stayed among a tribe near whose settlement there was a graveyard. After ‘Asr, a grave split open and a man emerged whose head was like a donkey’s head and whose body was a human body. He brayed three times, then the grave closed over him. An old woman was there spinning wool. Someone said: “Do you see that old woman?” It was said: “She is his mother.” He asked about his story, and it was said: He used to drink wine, and when he returned home his mother would advise him, but he would insult her. He died after ‘Asr, and every day after ‘Asr the grave opens for him, he brays three times, and then it closes over him.
Reference: Al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib, Chapter: Warning against disobedience to parents: 2017 (graded hasan by al-Albani, as cited)
No Obedience to Parents in Disobedience to Allah
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
“But if they strive against you to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them; but accompany them in this world with kindness.”
Reference: Qur’an 31:15 (Surah Luqman)
(The source cites the incident of Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqas رضي الله عنه in connection with this verse.)
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Virtues, Chapter: Virtue of Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqas: 6238
㊽ عن على أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا طاعة فى معصية الله إنما الطاعة فى المعروف
‘Ali رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “There is no obedience in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in what is right.”
Reference: Sahih Muslim, Book of Leadership, Chapter: Obligation of obeying leaders in what is not disobedience: 4765
㊾ عن النواس بن سمعان قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا طاعة لمخلوق فى معصية الخالق
Al-Nawwas ibn Sam‘an رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “There is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator.”
Reference: Sharh al-Sunnah: 2455 (graded sahih in the source)
㊿ عن على قال بعث النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم سرية فاستعمل عليهم رجلا من الأنصار وأمرهم أن يطيعوه فغضب عليهم فقال أليس أمركم النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أن تطيعوني قالوا بلى قال قد عزمت عليكم لما جمعتم لي حطبا وأوقدتم نارا ثم دخلتم فيها فجمعوا حطبا فأوقدوا فلما هموا بالدخول فجعل بعضهم ينظر إلىٰ بعض فقال قوم إنما تبعنا النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فرارا من النار أفندخلها فبينما هم كذلك خمدت النار وسكن غضبه فذكر للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال لو دخلوها ما خرجوا منها أبدا إنما الطاعة فى المعروف
‘Ali رضي الله عنه narrated: The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم sent out a detachment and appointed a man from the Ansar as their leader and commanded them to obey him. He became angry and ordered them to gather wood, light a fire, and enter it. They hesitated, saying: “We only followed the Prophet to be saved from the Fire—should we enter it?” The fire went out and the leader calmed down. When this was mentioned to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he said: “If they had entered it, they would never have come out of it. Obedience is only in what is right.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Battles (al-Maghazi), Chapter: The expedition of ‘Abdullah ibn Hudhafah: 4340
عن عبد الله عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال السمع والطاعة على المرء المسلم فيما أحب وكره ما لم يؤمر بمعصية فإذا أمر بمعصية فلا سمع ولا طاعة
‘Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Listening and obeying is required upon a Muslim in what he likes and dislikes, so long as he is not commanded to commit disobedience. If he is commanded to commit disobedience, then there is no listening and no obedience.”
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud, Book of Jihad, Chapter: Obedience: 2626 (graded sahih)
Conclusion (as stated in the source): Parents (and anyone else) are not obeyed in anything that contradicts the Shari‘ah.
فتفكر وتدبر وكن من الصالحين العاملين
“So reflect and ponder, and be among the righteous who act.”
Reference: Closing phrase as written in the source
On the Day of Resurrection: Called by the Father’s Name, Not the Mother’s
The source states that the correct view is that people will be called by their fathers’ names, and it cites Imam al-Bukhari’s chapter title:
باب ما يدعى الناس بآبائهم
“Chapter: People will be called by their fathers.”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari (chapter title cited in the source)
52 ) عن ابن عمر عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الغادر يرفع له لواء يوم القيامة يقال هذه غدر فلان بن فلان
Ibn ‘Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “For the traitor, a banner will be raised on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said: ‘This is the treachery of so-and-so son of so-and-so.’”
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: People will be called by their fathers: 6177
Benefit (as stated): Reports that claim people will be called by their mothers’ names are described in the source as weak.
