Surah An-Nisaa (4) — Ayah 4

In the age of ignorance, people used to take the Mahr of women themselves and did not give them anything. Allah Almighty forbade this and commanded that women be given their dowry gladly. Then, if any woman gladly gives a part or all of her dowry to her husband, it is permissible for the husband and he may consume it gladly. However, if a woman forgives the Mahr due to the husband's bad character or bad treatment and the husband accepts it, then this is against this verse. Similarly, if the Mahr is forgiven by deceit and then divorce is given, that too will not be permissible; rather, the Mahr will have to be given, because that is contrary to it being given gladly.

The exegesis of this verse has been done along with the previous verse.

4. And give women their dowries [7] graciously. But if they, of their own pleasure, remit any part of it to you, then consume it gladly and with pleasure.

[7] When the discussion about orphan girls and their dowry began, it was also emphasized regarding the dowry of ordinary women that their dowry should be given to them in full, willingly and with pleasure. However, if they themselves, without any compulsion or coercion, willingly forgo this dowry or a part of it, then it is lawful and pure sustenance for you. But there should never be any deceit or trickery in making them forgo their dowry or a part of it.

Determination of Dowry:

Here, an important question arises: how much should the dowry be? In this regard, we should first keep in view the Sunnah of the Prophet. Thus, Abu Salamah bin Abdur Rahmanؓ says that he asked Sayyidah Aishaؓ, "How much was the dowry of the wives of the Messenger of Allahﷺ?" She replied, "Twelve uqiyah of silver and nash." Then Sayyidah Aishaؓ asked me, "Do you know what nash is?" I said, "No." She said, "Nash means half, and this totals twelve and a half uqiyah of silver or five hundred dirhams. This was the dowry of the Messenger of Allahﷺ for his wives."
[مسلم: کتاب النکاح، باب الصداق]
In this regard, another narration is as follows: Abu Al-Ajfa says that once Sayyiduna Umar bin Khattabؓ said to the people during his sermon, "Listen! Do not fix excessive dowries for women, because if increasing the dowry was a matter of honor in this world or a matter of piety with Allah, then the Prophetﷺ would have been most deserving of it. And I do not know that the Messenger of Allahﷺ fixed the dowry of any of his wives or daughters more than twelve uqiyah of silver."
[ترمذی: ابواب النکاح: باب ماجاء فی مھور النساء]
Between these two narrations, we prefer the narration of Sayyidah Aishaؓ in Muslim, which mentions twelve and a half uqiyah of silver (one uqiyah = 40 dirhams) or 500 dirhams. Dirham was a silver coin, whose weight was 4.5 masha of silver. According to this calculation, this is 500 x 2/9 x 12/1 = 2/375 = 2/1. 187 tola of silver, and if we assume the current rate as 150 rupees per tola, then today this amounts to =/28125 Pakistani rupees. The second calculation is that 20 dirhams = one dinar, and dinar was a gold coin weighing 3.5 masha. According to this, 500/20 = 25 dinars, whose weight is 25 x 24/7 tola, and if the rate of one tola of gold is set at 4500 rupees per tola, then this equals =/32812 Pakistani rupees. If we take the average of these two amounts, we can say that the Messenger of Allahﷺ fixed the dowry of his wives and daughters at thirty thousand rupees according to the current currency of Pakistan, and this is the amount about which Sayyiduna Umarؓ said, "People! Do not fix more dowry than this." Now, consider a third narration related to this. When Sayyiduna Umarؓ was addressing the people, a woman called out (because this matter was related to women's rights), "How can you impose such a restriction when Allah Himself has said:
﴿ وَّاٰتَيْتُمْ اِحْديٰهُنَّ قِنْطَارًا ﴾ [4: 2]
That is, even if you have given one of your wives a treasure as dowry..." Hearing this, Sayyiduna Umarؓ spontaneously exclaimed, "O Lord! Forgive me, here everyone is more learned than Umarؓ." Then he ascended the pulpit and said, "People! I had forbidden you from fixing more than four hundred dirhams as dowry. I take back my opinion. Whoever among you wishes, may give as much dowry as he wants." Apart from these hadiths, there is another agreed-upon hadith related to Sayyiduna Abdur Rahman bin Aufؓ that he married an Ansari woman in exchange for gold the weight of a date-stone as dowry, but it is difficult to determine how big or small that handful was and what its weight was. Since gold is the heaviest metal, it is assumed that it was also about six or seven tola of gold. Regarding the minimum dowry, there is also a hadith found in almost all books of hadith that "A woman offered herself to the Messenger of Allahﷺ, but he remained silent. Then a man said, 'O Messenger of Allahﷺ! If you do not want her, then marry her to me!' The Prophet asked him, 'Do you have anything to give as dowry?' He replied, 'Nothing except this sheet that I am wrapped in.' The Prophet said, 'Will you keep this sheet or give it to her? Go and find even an iron ring.' He went but could not find even that and returned. The Prophet asked him, 'Do you know any Quran?' He replied, 'Yes! I know such and such surahs.' The Prophet said, 'Alright, teach her those surahs (as dowry).'” From this hadith, it is known that even an iron ring can be a dowry. Some jurists, based on this hadith, believe that the minimum dowry is a quarter dinar or five dirhams, and some set the limit at half a dinar or ten dirhams. From all these hadiths, it is concluded that the dowry should be according to the husband's means and should be such that both parties are satisfied and content, and according to the current Pakistani currency, its moderate standard is thirty thousand rupees.

Excess and Negligence Regarding Dowry:

After this research, let us now turn to the customs in our society and see how people fall into excess and negligence in this matter. One group consists of those who spend hundreds of thousands on the wedding, but when it comes to dowry, they say, "Set the shari dowry," and by shari dowry, they mean 32 rupees. It seems that this calculation was made by a scholar in the era when in united India, one rupee could buy four seer of desi ghee, salaries ranged from 2 to 4 rupees per month, and the price of gold was about five rupees per tola, meaning that even then, 32 rupees could buy six or seven tola of gold. Now the situation is that the value of the rupee has fallen a thousandfold, but people still remember the 32 rupees of that era. These people have gone towards negligence. The second group is those who demand a dowry far exceeding the husband's means. For example, the husband's means are not more than ten or fifteen thousand, but they demand one hundred thousand, and verbally say, "Who is going to give or take this amount? Our only purpose is to have it recorded in the marriage contract, and in this large gathering, our prestige will be established. Later, when the husband and wife are together, our daughter will forgive this amount." These people go towards excess. It should be clear that there is no room for such trickery in the Shariah. Pressuring the girl to forgo the dowry is wrong and sinful. However, if she, without any pressure, willingly forgives all or part of the dowry, that is another matter. Then there are some people who, in the name of dowry, actually sell their daughters. They demand a large amount as dowry, and after receiving it, do not give it to the girl but keep it themselves, and until they get their desired amount, they do not marry off their daughters, even if they become old. Such people commit multiple major sins. It should be clear that the dowry amount is the right of the girl, not her parents, and the evidence for this is the prohibition of shighar marriage. Thus, Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umarؓ says that the Messenger of Allahﷺ forbade shighar marriage, and shighar marriage was that a person would marry his daughter to another on the condition that the other would marry his daughter to him, and neither would have to pay dowry.
[مسلم۔ کتاب النکاح باب تحریم نکاح الشغار و بطلانہ]
That is, every girl's guardian or father would not even mention dowry so that he would not have to pay it, thus depriving the girls of dowry and consuming the amount themselves. Then there are some people who, if the woman does not forgive the dowry amount, start causing her various kinds of harm, and there are many ways of causing such harm. All such actions are forbidden and sinful. The correct way is that whatever dowry has been agreed upon should be happily given to the wives.