Surah An-Nisaa (4) — Ayah 19

(Ayah 19) ➊ {لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ اَنْ تَرِثُوا النِّسَآءَ كَرْهًا:} After incidentally mentioning the rulings of repentance in relation to adultery and similar matters, from here the rights of women are being discussed again, and the purpose is to save women from the oppression and excesses that were committed against them in the time of ignorance. The addressees here are either the heirs of the husband, as Imam Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) and other hadith scholars have narrated from Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) regarding the reason for the revelation of this verse, that in the time of ignorance, the heirs of the deceased used to become the owners of his wife just like other things. If one of them wished, he would marry her himself, or marry her off to someone else (and take the dowry himself), and if they wished, they would completely prevent the woman from marrying (until she died and they themselves became the heirs of her wealth). The woman's own guardians had no authority in this matter. Upon this, Allah Almighty revealed this verse and ended their dominance over the woman. [ بخاری، التفسیر، باب : «لا یحل لکم …» : ۴۵۷۹ ] And it is also possible that the addressees are the husbands, as some scholars have written in the reason for the revelation that they would not divorce the women but would keep harassing them, so that if they died, they would become their heirs, and if the women wanted to seek divorce, they would have to return some of what had been given to them. Upon this, this verse was revealed. In the first case, the summary is that after the husband's death, it is not permissible to prevent her from marrying, rather she can marry whomever she wishes, and the husband's heirs cannot forcibly inherit her in this way. In the second case, i.e., when the husbands are the addressees, the summary is that it is not permissible for the husband to harass the woman with the intention of taking back the dowry and not divorce her, until she is forced to seek khul‘. This second case seems more authentic, and Ibn Atiyyah and others have preferred this, because the rest of the verse is undoubtedly related to the husbands, since in the case of clear indecency, it is the husband who has the right to restrain her, so that he may take back the dowry or whatever he has given and then divorce her; the husband's heirs do not have this authority. (Fath al-Qadir, Qurtubi) And it is also possible that the address is to the general Muslims, which would include the husband, the deceased's heirs, and other Muslims as well. (Fath al-Qadir)

➋ {اِلَّاۤ اَنْ يَّاْتِيْنَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ:} The statement of Ibn Kathir (may Allah have mercy on him) is that Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both), ‘Ikrimah, and Dahhak (may Allah have mercy on them) have taken {”بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ“} to mean rebellion and disobedience, but Ibn Jarir (may Allah have mercy on him) has preferred that it be kept general, and that it includes obscene speech, bad character, causing harm, adultery, and all such vices, and the meaning would be that if the excess is from the woman's side, then you may compel her to seek khul‘, so that she returns the wealth that was given.

➌ {وَ عَاشِرُوْهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ:} This is the third ruling regarding women, that you should live with them in a good manner. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: [خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِيْ ] [ ابن ماجہ، النکاح، باب حسن معاشرۃ النساء : ۱۹۷۷، عن ابن عباس رضی اللہ عنہما۔ ترمذی : ۳۸۹۵۔ الصحیحۃ : ۲۸۵ ] "The best among you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."

➍ {فَاِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوْهُنَّ فَعَسٰۤى …:} This is also a completion of the instruction to live with them in a good manner, meaning that if, due to some moral weakness or unattractiveness, you begin to dislike them and wish to divorce them, even then do not immediately divorce them, but keep them with you in a good way; it may be that through their companionship you obtain abundant good, such as righteous children or blessings in wealth, and your dislike turns into love. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her habits, he will like another." [ مسلم، الرضاع، باب الوصیۃ بالنساء : ۱۴۶۷، عن أبی ھریرۃ رضی اللہ عنہ ] Another meaning could be that if, due to dislike, you wish to separate from them, it may be that in this separation there is abundant good for them, for example, they may get a better husband. See Surah al-Nisa (130).

19. 1 Before Islam, another injustice done to women was that after the husband's death, the people of his household would forcibly become heirs of his wife just like his wealth, and would, of their own will and without her consent, marry her themselves or marry her off to their brothers or nephews. Even a stepson would marry his deceased father's wife, and if they wished, they would not allow her to marry elsewhere. She would be forced to live like this her entire life. Islam forbade all these forms of oppression.

19. 2 Another injustice was that if the husband did not like his wife and wanted to get rid of her, he would not divorce her himself but would trouble her so much that she would be compelled to return the dowry he had given her and prefer to free herself from him. Islam also declared this act as oppression.

19. 3 By open indecency is meant adultery, foul language, or disobedience. In both these cases, permission is given for the husband to behave in such a way that she is compelled to return the dowry he gave her and seek khula, as in the case of khula, the right to take back the dowry is given (see Surah Baqarah verse 229).

19. 4 This is the command for good conduct with the wife, which the Quran has greatly emphasized, and in the hadiths, the Prophet ﷺ has also explained it in detail that a believing man (husband) should not harbor hatred against a believing woman (wife). If he likes one of her habits, another of her habits will be pleasing. Oppressing women and ruining the lives of children, in addition, also brings disrepute to Islam in such a way that by giving the right of divorce to men, it is portrayed as if Islam has given men the authority to oppress women. In this way, a great virtue of Islam is presented as a flaw and oppression.

O you who believe! It is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will [32], nor should you detain them so as to take away part of what you have given them (as dowry or gifts), unless they commit a clear act of indecency [33]. And live with them in kindness [34]. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much [34.1] good.

[32]
In the Age of Ignorance, Women Were Considered Inheritance Property:

That is, women too were considered as inheritance property, and their heir would be the stepson or the deceased’s brother. This is made clear by the following hadith: Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas ؓ states that among the Arabs it was customary that when a man died, his wife would come under the control of the deceased’s heirs (she too was considered inheritance property). If they wished, they would marry her themselves; if they wished, they would marry her off to someone else; and if they wished, they would leave her unmarried. In short, the husband’s heirs had authority over her, while the woman’s own heirs had no authority at all. Then this verse was revealed (through which women were given complete freedom). [بخاري، كتاب التفسير]

[33] That is, the right to confine them in the house is only in the case that they commit indecency, as has already been mentioned in verse 15 of this surah, and this ruling is general, not just for those stepmothers who were in wedlock with your fathers. Otherwise, it is not permissible in any way to detain women merely to seize their wealth.

[34] Regarding good conduct with wives, consider the following Prophetic instructions:

1.
Good Conduct with Wives:

The Prophet ﷺ said: “The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.”
[ترمذی، ابواب الرضاع۔ باب حق المرأۃ علیٰ زوجھا]

2. The Prophet ﷺ said (during the Farewell Sermon): “Fear Allah regarding women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allah, and their private parts have been made lawful to you by the word of Allah. You have a right over them that they do not allow anyone you dislike to enter your beds. If they do so, you may strike them, but not in a way that causes injury. And they have a right over you that you provide for them with food and clothing in a fair manner.”
[صحیح مسلم، کتاب الحج، باب حجۃ النبی]

3. The Prophet ﷺ said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her traits, he will surely be pleased with another.”
[مسلم، کتاب الرضاع۔ باب الوصیۃ بالنساء]

4. The Prophet ﷺ said: “A woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, you will break her, and if you wish to benefit from her, you must benefit from her as she is, with her crookedness.”
[بخاری، کتاب النکاح، باب المداراۃ مع النساء مسلم، کتاب الرضاع، باب الوصیۃ بالنساء]
[34۔ 1] For example, your wife may not be beautiful or educated, but she is thrifty, well-versed in household management, and does not unjustly trouble her husband in times of hardship, rather she is obedient and dutiful. Now, if a man wishes to bring a woman into his home merely for her beauty and send the other away, it is possible that the beautiful woman may make life difficult for her husband with her demands, may not be thrifty, and may demand a servant for household chores, making life unbearable for him. Therefore, be content and satisfied with what you have, try your utmost to maintain good relations and kindness, and instead of ruining your domestic life, strive to improve it.