Surah Ar-Room (30) — Ayah 21

(Ayah 21) ➊ {وَ مِنْ اٰيٰتِهٖۤ اَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِّنْ اَنْفُسِكُمْ اَزْوَاجًا … :} That is, among the signs indicating Allah’s greatness and His perfect power is that He created wives for you from among yourselves (not for any benefit to Himself, but for your sake), so that you may go to them and find tranquility. The meaning of {’’سَكَنَ عِنْدَهُ‘‘} is to physically go and stay with someone, and {’’سَكَنَ إِلَيْهِ‘‘} means to find comfort and tranquility with someone emotionally and spiritually. This is a great sign of Allah that even our father Adam (peace be upon him), while living in Paradise where every blessing was present, only found tranquility when Allah created his wife and our mother Hawwa (peace be upon her) from his own self, as He said: «{ هُوَ الَّذِيْ خَلَقَكُمْ مِّنْ نَّفْسٍ وَّاحِدَةٍ وَّ جَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ اِلَيْهَا }» [ الأعراف : ۱۸۹ ] “He is the One who created you from a single soul and made from it its mate, so that he may find tranquility with her.” After Adam (peace be upon him), for the tranquility of his offspring, men and women were made as pairs for each other. This is the perfection of His power that the creation of men and women has always remained in such balance and moderation that their mutual need for pairing is fulfilled. It has never happened that men became so numerous that they could not find wives, or women increased so much that they could not find husbands. And it is also His wisdom that only a man can find tranquility with a woman and a woman with a man, so Allah Himself created their pairs from among humans. It is clear that all those stories are mere fables in which there is mention of pairing and procreation between humans and jinn, and it is also clear that those monks and ascetics who, by waging war against human nature, sought tranquility by severing ties with women, are in great deception, because the outcome of fighting nature is always defeat. Just as eating food at the time of hunger is not an obstacle in the path of connection with Allah, but is a basic necessity of human life, similarly, marriage is not an obstacle in the path of connection with Allah, but is a cause of tranquility for a person and a basic necessity. The most pious person among the children of Adam, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), said: [ حُبِّبَ إِلَيَّ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا النِّسَاءُ وَالطِّيْبُ وَجُعِلَ قُرَّةُ عَيْنِيْ فِي الصَّلاَةِ ] [ نسائي، عشرۃ النساء، باب حب النساء : ۳۳۹۱، عن أنس رضی اللہ عنہ ] “Women and perfume have been made beloved to me from this world, and the coolness of my eyes has been placed in prayer.”
Remember! This tranquility can only be obtained through the relationship of marriage between a man and a woman, because the lawful way of pairing is this. The wicked cannot attain this blessing. The disbelieving nations, by rebelling against Allah’s commands, have adopted the way of men and women living together without marriage, but they can never attain the tranquility that a husband and wife receive, and not to mention those accursed ones who try in vain and unsuccessfully to find tranquility by fulfilling their lust with men with men, women with women, or with dogs, cats, and other animals, because this is against not only human nature but also the nature of animals.
➋ { وَ جَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَّوَدَّةً …:} That is, along with tranquility in the pairing of man and woman, Allah has placed friendship and mercy. Countless tales of love are famous in the world and there is noise and commotion about it everywhere, but the true friendship and love that, by Allah’s grace, is created between husband and wife, those caught in unlawful love and forbidden relationships cannot even sense it. Is it not a great sign of Allah that a man and a woman who do not even fully know each other, after marriage, by Allah’s grace alone, are bound in such a bond of affection and love that lasts a lifetime and grows stronger day by day? The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: [ لَمْ نَرَ لِلْمُتَحَابَّيْنِ مِثْلَ النِّكَاحِ ] [ ابن ماجہ، النکاح، باب ما جاء في فضل النکاح : ۱۸۴۷، عن ابن عباس و صححہ البوصیري و الألباني ] “We have not seen anything like marriage for two who love each other.” In the explanation of this hadith, Mulla Ali Qari writes: “That is, when a man and a woman love each other, we have not seen anything like marriage for them, because it increases love, whereas as a result of adultery, enmity and hatred arise instead of love.”
➌ { وَ رَحْمَةً:} Among the great signs of Allah’s power, along with friendship and love, is the mercy and kindness that Allah has placed between husband and wife, so that they are extremely kind and merciful to each other in health and youth as well as in old age and sickness. Whereas the love of lovers and the wicked, no matter how tumultuous, scatters with the fading of beauty, and the real motive in it is to fulfill one’s own lust and pure selfishness, not mercy for the beloved.
➍ { اِنَّ فِيْ ذٰلِكَ لَاٰيٰتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَّتَفَكَّرُوْنَ : ’’ فِيْ ذٰلِكَ ‘‘} (In this) refers to the things mentioned in the previous verse and this verse, that is, in creating you from insignificant clay, in spreading you as humans throughout the earth, in creating your pairs from among yourselves for your tranquility, and in creating the feeling of friendship and mercy between you, there are many signs indicating Allah’s existence, His oneness, His power, and His establishing of the Hereafter, but only for those who reflect on these things.

21-1. That is, He created women from your own kind so that they may become your wives and you may become pairs. In Arabic, "zawj" means a pair. In this sense, a man is a "zawj" for a woman and a woman is a "zawj" for a man. The meaning of women being of the human kind is that the first woman in the world, Lady Hawwa, was created from the left rib of Prophet Adam (peace be upon him). Then from both of them, the human race began.

21-2. The meaning is that if the kind of man and woman were different from each other, for example, if women were from the jinn or animals, then the comfort that is now obtained due to both being of the same kind would never have been achieved. Rather, there would have been hatred and aversion towards each other. This is the perfect mercy of Allah Almighty that He made the wives of humans, humans themselves.

21-2. "Mawaddah" is that a man loves his wife immensely, and likewise, the wife loves her husband. As is commonly observed. Such love as exists between husband and wife does not exist between any two people in the world. And "rahmah" is that a man provides every kind of comfort and ease to his wife, which Allah Almighty has made him responsible for, and likewise, the woman within her capacity and authority. However, this comfort and mutual love is obtained only from those pairs that are established through marriage according to the law of Shariah, and Islam considers only these as pairs. It does not recognize illegal pairs as pairs at all, rather, it declares them adulterers and immoral and prescribes punishment for them. Nowadays, the devils who are the flag bearers of Western civilization are engaged in these reprehensible efforts that, as in Western societies, in Islamic countries too, marriage should be declared unnecessary, and immoral men and women should be recognized as pairs and, instead of punishment, they should be granted the rights that a legal pair receives. (قٰتَلَهُمُ اللّٰهُ ۡ اَنّٰى يُؤْفَكُوْنَ) 63. Al-Munafiqun:4).

21. And among His signs is that He created for you spouses [18] from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.

[18]
Both Man and Woman Are Seekers and Sought After Each Other:

That is, from the clay figure itself, He creates its pair, which, in terms of humanity, is of the same kind. But in terms of physical structure, these are two types. Both are seekers and sought after each other. Man finds tranquility with woman, and woman finds tranquility with man. And there is such attraction placed between them that they cannot attain peace while being separated from each other. Then Allah grants some couples only sons, some only daughters, and some a mixed offspring, but never has there been a time in human history when there were so many men in the world that they could not find wives, or so many women were born and the number of men was so small in comparison that women could not find husbands.

Such a Proportion in the Birth of Men and Women That Is Necessary for the Survival of the Species:

Thus, in the creation of man and woman, Allah also keeps in view that proportion which is necessary for the survival of the species. Then, it is as a result of this very attraction between man and woman that the secret of the survival of the human race is hidden. From this, families and tribes are formed, and the foundation of civilization and society is laid. Then, such love is placed between these spouses (husband and wife) that they are ready to sacrifice themselves for each other, and both are compassionate and merciful towards the offspring that is born. To such an extent do these feelings and emotions develop between them that they strive to maintain their sacred marital bond for life. Now, just consider: if Allah had not placed these feelings and emotions between the spouses, would the population of the earth or the survival of the human race have been possible? And can any other god accomplish this task? Or is it possible that lifeless, unconscious, and blind matter, by mere coincidence, could take into account such wisdom and considerations?