Tirmidhi

1: Ja'far ibn Abi Talib radi Allahu anhu was martyred in 8 AH during the Battle of Mu'tah.
His death certainly brought grief and sorrow to everyone, especially to his family members.

2: In this, there is evidence that it is recommended (mustahabb) for relatives and neighbors to send food to the family of the deceased.
But today’s innovators have turned the matter upside down:
the "third day" (teeja),
"qul",
the seventh and fortieth day (satwan and chaliswan)—such Hindu-like customs have been invented, and the heirs of the deceased are thoroughly exploited,
we seek refuge with Allah from these superstitions.

Benefits and Issues:
Some people, reasoning from this hadith, say that it is not permissible to cook food in the house of the deceased for three days. However, the statement of the Noble Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was specifically for that particular time. To extend it to three days does not appear to be correct according to the Shariah. Furthermore, the original intent behind this was to express sympathy with the family of the deceased, not merely to prohibit cooking food. Therefore, to deduce from this that cooking food in the house of the deceased is absolutely forbidden is also not correct.

However, there is another custom that has become widespread, which is questionable in terms of Shariah, and that is preparing food and arranging a general invitation for those who participate in the funeral. The people who attend the funeral are of two types: first, the close relatives, who come from distant areas (different cities). They cannot return immediately, and due to their special relationship with the deceased, it is also not appropriate for them to leave right away. The second type are those who, generally, are greater in number than the close relatives; these are friends, neighbors, and people of the same school of thought. Their participation is limited to the funeral prayer or, at most, until the burial. After that, they return to their own homes.

Preparing food for the first type of people is certainly permissible, because they are very close to the deceased and they stay with the family of the deceased. But to prepare food for the second type of people as well, to feed them as at banquets, or to compel them to eat, or to make a public announcement of a general invitation, is an undue hardship, which is questionable in terms of Shariah. This practice was started by the wealthy, for whom cooking a few cauldrons of food is not a difficult matter. But this custom has created difficulties for those with limited means. Therefore, arranging a general invitation for all participants of the funeral on this occasion is something that needs to be corrected; this arrangement for food should be only for the close relatives. It should not be arranged for others, nor should others participate in it.

Benefits and Issues:
➊
The Battle of Mu'tah took place against the Christian Roman Empire in Jumada al-Ula, 8 AH (August or September 629 CE).

➋
In this battle, three great leaders of the Muslims—Zayd ibn Harithah, Ja'far al-Tayyar ibn Abi Talib, and Abdullah ibn Rawahah (radi Allahu anhum)—were martyred one after the other. In the end, under the leadership of Khalid ibn al-Walid (radi Allahu anhu), the Muslims forced the Christians to retreat. The Muslims themselves also acted with great wisdom and returned safely. For details, see: (Al-Raheeq al-Makhtum, p. 526)

➌
It is the duty of the relatives and neighbors of the deceased to prepare food for the family of the deceased. It is not appropriate for people to gather at the house of the deceased as guests to eat. The prohibition of gathering at the house of the deceased is mentioned in Hadith (1612).

Benefits and Issues:
➊ From this hadith, it is understood that it is Sunnah to provide food for those whose loved one has passed away.
➋ The right of the neighbor comes first and is the greatest.
➌ Providing food is Sunnah only for the family members of the deceased and for their relatives who have come from afar; the local residents and those who participated in the burial are not entitled to it.
➍ It is not correct for the family of the deceased to cook food themselves or for people to gather at their house. This is proven to be prohibited in the hadith. See: [مسند احمد : 402/2 ۔ واسنن ابن ماجه ، الجنائز ، حديث : 1612]

Explanation:
Ja‘far ibn Abi Talib radi Allahu anhu—Ja‘far radi Allahu anhu was the son of Abu Talib and the brother of Ali radi Allahu anhu, and he was ten years older than him. He migrated to Abyssinia and resided there. The Negus (Najashi) and his followers accepted Islam at his hands. Then he also migrated to Madinah and arrived at Khaybar when it had already been conquered. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam kissed him between his eyes and said: “I do not know whether I am more pleased at the arrival of Ja‘far or at the conquest of Khaybar.” [المعجم الكبير للطبراني : 108/2]

He was a very generous person. In the 8th year of Hijrah, he drank from the cup of martyrdom in the battle of Mu’tah and departed for the highest Paradise. In this battle, the command of the Muslim army was in his hands. Both of his arms were severed from his body during the battle. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “Allah, the Exalted, has given him two wings in place of his two arms, with which he flies wherever he wishes in Paradise.” [المعجم الكبير للطبراني : 107/3]

For this reason, he is called Ja‘far al-Tayyar, and his title is also Ja‘far Dhu’l-Janahayn.

Benefit:
This hadith proves that it is for others, the companions, to arrange food for the family of the deceased, because they are afflicted with grief and are occupied with the deceased. Furthermore, this hadith also shows that it is Sunnah to provide food to the family of the deceased for only one meal. The custom of three days that is prevalent among us is not Sunnah. There is no evidence in the Qur’an and Hadith for providing food for three days. Please consider the fatwas of some major scholars:

The author of Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, Mawlana Muhammad Abdul Rahman Muhaddith Mubarakpuri rahimahullah, writes: It is narrated from Abdullah ibn Ja‘far radi Allahu anhu that when the news of Ja‘far Tayyar radi Allahu anhu’s martyrdom came, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “Prepare food for the family of Ja‘far, for there has come to them something that has preoccupied them from preparing food.” [ابوداود 3132 الترمذي : 998 ابـن مـاجه 1610 صـححه ابن السكن و حسنه الترمذي كذا فى النيل : 97/4]

From this hadith, it is understood that relatives and neighbors should cook food and send it to the house of the deceased on the day of death.

I say that from the hadith of Abdullah ibn Ja‘far radi Allahu anhu, only sending food for one or two meals is established, and sending food for three days is not established from this hadith nor from any other hadith.

Sayyiduna Jarir ibn Abdullah radi Allahu anhu states that we, meaning the Companions radi Allahu anhum, used to consider gathering at the house of the deceased after burial, preparing food, and eating it as a form of lamentation (niyahah), i.e., just as wailing over the deceased is forbidden, similarly, gathering at the house of the deceased after burial and eating food is also forbidden. [مقالات محدث مباركپوري رحمہ اللہ :ص 331 تا 333]

The judge of Doha, Qatar, Shaykh Ahmad ibn Hajar al-Buwtami states: For the family and relatives of the deceased to hold gatherings for condolence and mourning, and to prepare food for those coming for condolence for three days, is an innovation (bid‘ah). (Bid‘aat aur un ka Shar‘i Post-Mortem, p. 275)

The Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Hafiz Sanaullah Madani rahimahullah (commentator of Sunan al-Tirmidhi and Sahih al-Bukhari), writes: It is only permissible to provide food to the family of the deceased temporarily. However, preparing food for those who participated in the burial along with the family of the deceased is not permissible.

In the hadith of Jarir ibn Abdullah Bajali radi Allahu anhu, it is stated that gathering at the house of the deceased after burial and preparing food is, according to us (the Companions), a form of lamentation (niyahah), which is prohibited in the hadith. [فتاوي ثنائيه مدنيه : 179/3ء 180]

Mufti Aminullah Peshawari rahimahullah has declared this to be an innovation (bid‘ah) for several reasons. [فتاوي الدين الخالص : 316/7- 317]