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سنن دارمي
Darimi
من كتاب النكاحFrom the Book of Marriage
باب مُدَارَاةِ الرَّجُلِ أَهْلَهُ:Chapter: Managing One’s Family
Hadith 2258
اُردوEn
أَخْبَرَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الرَّقَاشِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَارِثِ، حَدَّثَنَا الْجُرَيْرِيُّ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَلَاءِ، عَنْ نُعَيْمِ بْنِ قَعْنَبٍ، عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ: أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , قَالَ: "إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ، فَإِنْ تُقِمْهَا، كَسَرْتَهَا، فَدَارِهَا، فَإِنَّ فِيهَا أَوَدًا وَبُلْغَةً".
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Indeed, woman was created from a rib, so if you try to straighten her, you will break her. Therefore, treat her with good manners, for there is crookedness in her and also comfort."
Brief Explanation
(Commentary on Hadith 2257)
The reference to being created from a rib is an allusion to Lady Hawwa (alayha as-salam), whom Allah Ta'ala brought into existence from the rib of Prophet Adam (alayhis-salam). Furthermore, a rib is crooked, especially more so towards the upper part; similarly, a woman is also crooked from the upper part, that is, from the tongue. To be patient with her sharpness of tongue and harsh speech, and to maintain the household with good conduct, is to follow and emulate the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).
How eloquently the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) explained that if, through your harshness, you try to straighten her, you will break her just like a bone or a dry stick, and the fabric of your household will fall apart. Therefore, treat her well; through good treatment, she will change on her own. Beating, taunting, and abusive language will only fuel hatred and revenge.
By «أَوَدَّا» is meant crookedness, and by «بُلْغَةً» is meant that quality through which a person derives pleasure and delight from his wife, as will be mentioned further in the hadith.
The reference to being created from a rib is an allusion to Lady Hawwa (alayha as-salam), whom Allah Ta'ala brought into existence from the rib of Prophet Adam (alayhis-salam). Furthermore, a rib is crooked, especially more so towards the upper part; similarly, a woman is also crooked from the upper part, that is, from the tongue. To be patient with her sharpness of tongue and harsh speech, and to maintain the household with good conduct, is to follow and emulate the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).
How eloquently the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) explained that if, through your harshness, you try to straighten her, you will break her just like a bone or a dry stick, and the fabric of your household will fall apart. Therefore, treat her well; through good treatment, she will change on her own. Beating, taunting, and abusive language will only fuel hatred and revenge.
By «أَوَدَّا» is meant crookedness, and by «بُلْغَةً» is meant that quality through which a person derives pleasure and delight from his wife, as will be mentioned further in the hadith.
