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Hadith 2253

أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مُطِيعٍ، حَدَّثَنَا هُشَيْمٌ، أَخْبَرَنَا سَيَّارٌ، عَنْ الشَّعْبِيِّ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا جَابِرُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: كُنَّا مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي سَفَرٍ فَلَمَّا قَفَلْنَا تَعَجَّلْتُ، فَلَحِقَنِي رَاكِبٌ، قَالَ: فَالْتَفَتُّ، فَإِذَا أَنَا بِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَقَالَ لِي: "مَا أَعْجَلَكَ يَا جَابِرُ ؟"قَالَ: إِنِّي حَدِيثُ عَهْدٍ بِعُرْسٍ، قَالَ: "أَفَبِكْرًا تَزَوَّجْتَهَا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ؟"قَالَ: قُلْتُ: بَلْ ثَيِّبًا، قَالَ: "فَهَلَّا بِكْرًا تُلَاعِبُهَا وَتُلَاعِبُكَ ؟"قَالَ: ثُمَّ قَالَ لِي: "إِذَا قَدِمْتَ فَالْكَيْسَ الْكَيْسَ"، قَالَ: فَلَمَّا قَدِمْنَا، ذَهَبْنَا نَدْخُلُ، قَالَ: "أَمْهِلُوا حَتَّى نَدْخُلَ لَيْلًا، أَيْ: عِشَاءً لِكَيْ تَمْتَشِطَ الشَّعِثَةُ، وَتَسْتَحِدَّ الْمُغِيبَةُ".
Sayyiduna Jabir bin Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with them both) said: We were on a journey with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). When we returned, I began to hurry. Suddenly, a rider came from behind. I turned and saw that it was the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). He said to me: "Jabir, why are you hurrying?" I replied: Because I have recently gotten married. He asked: "Did you marry a virgin or a previously married woman (thayyib)?" Sayyiduna Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) replied: I married a previously married woman. He said: "Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you?" Then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "When you reach home, there will be only intimacy and meeting." Then, when we entered Madinah, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Wait, do not enter until night falls, that is, until 'Isha, so that the woman with disheveled hair may comb and beautify herself, and the one whose husband has been away may clean herself."
Hadith Reference سنن دارمي / من كتاب النكاح / 2253
Hadith Grading تحقیق (حسین سلیم أسد الدارانی): إسناده صحيح والحديث متفق عليه، [مكتبه الشامله نمبر: 2262]
Hadith Takhrij اس روایت کی سند صحیح اور حدیث متفق علیہ ہے۔ دیکھئے: [بخاري 4052] ، [مسلم 1521] ، [نسائي 3236] ، [ابن ماجه 1860] ، [أبويعلی 1793] ، [ابن حبان 2717] ، [الحميدي 1261]
Brief Explanation
(Commentary on Hadith 2252)

From this hadith, the virtue of marrying a virgin (bakirah) is understood, and marrying a virgin is considered recommended (mustahabb). It also establishes the permissibility of playing and joking with one’s wife, and that, unless there is a specific benefit, a virgin is better than a previously married woman (thayyib). Furthermore, if a traveler returns home after many days, he should inform his wife of his arrival and give her enough time so that she may adorn and clean herself.

It is narrated in the Sahihayn that Sayyiduna Jabir radi Allahu anhu said: O beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam! My father was martyred and left behind nine sisters with me, so I thought it appropriate to marry a woman who could take good care of them.

In Sahih Muslim, it is also mentioned that my camel was very weak and slow, so the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam prodded it with a stick, and it began to run very fast. Then he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: (How swift this camel has become!) “Will you sell it?” Then he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam bought that camel, and when we returned to Madinah, he paid the price and also gave the camel back to me.

Subhan Allah al-‘Azim! How noble were the manners of the Pride of the Worlds sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, how he cared for the hearts of his companions and loved each of them equally. May Allah Ta‘ala grant us the vision of him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in this world and the Hereafter, and gather us with him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

Ameen.