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سنن دارمي
Darimi
من كتاب النكاحFrom the Book of Marriage
باب في الْقِسْمَةِ بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ:Chapter: Division Between Wives
Hadith 2244
اُردوEn
أَخْبَرَنَا عَمْرُو بْنُ عَاصِمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَيُّوبَ، عَنْ أَبِي قِلَابَةَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ الْخَطْمِيِّ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ: كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقْسِمُ فَيَعْدِلُ وَيَقُولُ: "اللَّهُمَّ هَذِهِ قِسْمَتِي فِيمَا أَمْلِكُ، فَلَا تَلُمْنِي فِيمَا تَمْلِكُ وَلَا أَمْلِكُ".
Umm al-Mu'mineen Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) used to stay with each of his wives in turn and maintained justice among all his wives, and he used to say: "O Allah, this is my action regarding that which I control, so do not blame me concerning that which You control and I do not control."
Brief Explanation
(Commentary on Hadith 2243)
That is, I am able to stay with each of them in turn, but if the heart inclines more towards one, I have no control over that; do not hold me accountable for it, for this is from You.
Subhan Allah! What a magnificent teaching of justice and fairness this is.
From this hadith, it is understood that a man should live with his wives with justice and fairness, and he should strive as much as possible that in any matter, there should be no shortcoming or injustice towards any of them, even in the division of turns, it should be equal—even if one wife is young and the other is old. However, if a woman, of her own accord, gifts her turn to another wife, then the husband may stay with the other wife during her turn, as Umm al-Mu’minin Sayyidah Sawdah radi Allahu anha gave her turn to Sayyidah Aishah radi Allahu anha. As for the love of the heart, affection, or desire for intimacy (jima‘) being more for one wife and less for another, this is not within one’s control; it is from Allah Ta‘ala. That is why the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would supplicate: “O Allah! In that which I have control over, let me uphold justice and fairness; and in that over which I have no control, do not hold me accountable.”
That is, I am able to stay with each of them in turn, but if the heart inclines more towards one, I have no control over that; do not hold me accountable for it, for this is from You.
Subhan Allah! What a magnificent teaching of justice and fairness this is.
From this hadith, it is understood that a man should live with his wives with justice and fairness, and he should strive as much as possible that in any matter, there should be no shortcoming or injustice towards any of them, even in the division of turns, it should be equal—even if one wife is young and the other is old. However, if a woman, of her own accord, gifts her turn to another wife, then the husband may stay with the other wife during her turn, as Umm al-Mu’minin Sayyidah Sawdah radi Allahu anha gave her turn to Sayyidah Aishah radi Allahu anha. As for the love of the heart, affection, or desire for intimacy (jima‘) being more for one wife and less for another, this is not within one’s control; it is from Allah Ta‘ala. That is why the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would supplicate: “O Allah! In that which I have control over, let me uphold justice and fairness; and in that over which I have no control, do not hold me accountable.”
