Ibn Hibban

Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates this statement of the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "The best charity is that which is given when one is in a state of prosperity (or after giving which a person remains prosperous), and the upper hand is better than the lower hand, and each of you should begin with those under his care, because his wife will say, 'Spend on me,' his children will say, 'To whom are you handing me over?' his slave will say, 'Give me food, then take work from me.'"

(Imam Ibn Hibban, may Allah have mercy on him, says:): The statement of the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), "The upper hand is better than the lower hand," in my view, means: the hand of the one who gives charity is superior to the hand of the one who asks. It does not mean that the one who takes without asking is superior, because it is impossible that the hand for which an action has been declared permissible becomes inferior to another person who has been commanded to perform a certain act as an obligation and he fulfills it, or that the other person seeks nearness to Allah Almighty through a voluntary act. Sometimes, the giver adopts fewer means in his giving compared to the one for whom taking has been made permissible. And sometimes, the one for whom taking has been made permissible is more virtuous and more pious than the one who is giving. So, when it is impossible to apply this without declaring one superior to the other, it becomes established that the one who gives charity is superior to the one who asks for it.