Nasai

In the first hadith, the state before the most virtuous charity is described, and in this one, the state after the most virtuous charity is described.

Hadith Commentary:
That is, your family, dependents, and all those associated with you, as well as laborers and others whose food you have taken responsibility for.
In the same way, among relatives, those who are poor and needy should be given precedence in care and attention over other poor and needy people.

Hadith Commentary:
One should first take care of one’s family, dependents, and workers, etc., whose food and expenses you have taken upon yourself. Likewise, among relatives, those who are poor and needy should be given priority.
These people are to be given precedence over other poor and destitute individuals.
From this hadith, it is also understood that it is obligatory (fard) upon a person to provide for the sustenance and expenses of his wife and children.
To evade this responsibility or to separate oneself from it is not permissible in any circumstance.
It should not be the case that the wife earns herself and feeds the family; this destroys the order of the household and leaves deficiencies in the upbringing of the children as well.
And Allah knows best.

Hadith Commentary:
It is understood that after the rights of Allah, fulfilling the rights of one’s father and all other relatives is the greatest act of worship among human rights.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
After the rights of Allah, it is necessary to fulfill the rights of human beings. Among human rights, the rights of parents and family members are foremost. From this, it is understood that providing maintenance (nafaqah) for one’s family is obligatory upon a person. The situation should not be such that a woman, out of distress, is compelled to say: “Either give me food or set me free by divorcing me.” Similarly, a slave should not have to say: “Feed me, then take work from me,” or “You take work from me, but why do you not feed me?” Likewise, one’s own son should not have to say: “Arrange for my food; to whom are you entrusting me?” In short, all types of dependents demand food, and this is their right, the fulfillment of which is his responsibility. Therefore, when spending, one should begin with those whose maintenance is his obligation.

(2)
It is also understood from this hadith that if a person is unable to provide maintenance (nafaqah) for his wife or children, then the woman may seek separation through the court, requesting that her husband set her free. The command of Allah, the Exalted, is: “Do not retain them to harm them so that you transgress.” ( al-Baqarah: 231) From the last part of the hadith, Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has indicated that a portion of this hadith is actually the statement of Abu Hurairah radi Allahu anhu, which has been incorporated into the hadith. And Allah knows best.

Hadith Commentary:
It is clearly evident from this hadith that if one's relatives and all dependents are deserving, then they have the foremost right to receive charity, alms, and zakat.
Therefore, those who give such charity are given the glad tidings of double reward.

1676. Commentary: The meaning is that if, after giving charity (sadaqah), a person himself becomes dependent on others for fulfilling his own basic needs, then such charity is disliked. Therefore, the best charity is that after giving it, a person does not become dependent on others.

“...is rich.” Whether that is richness of the heart or of wealth. It should not be that after giving charity, he himself begins to beg, or his family members become needy. Not every person possesses the faith, certainty, and reliance upon Allah (tawakkul) like Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radi Allahu anhu, that he gives away all his wealth in charity. This lofty rank is granted to whomever it is granted. Some scholars have interpreted its meaning as: the best charity is that by which the recipient becomes self-sufficient (ghani) and no longer has the need to ask. And Allah knows best.