Nasai

1870. Commentary: The purpose is that mourning and lamentation cannot last forever; eventually, they will come to an end. However, this is not called patience (sabr). True patience is that a person, at the initial moment of calamity, restrains himself according to the rulings of Shariah and maintains human dignity—and this is the difficult task. The reward is also for this patience. If one shows patience after weeping and wailing, then what kind of patience is that? In the end, one is compelled to be patient anyway, but this is not the patience prescribed by Shariah; rather, it is forced, as there is no alternative. The reward and recompense are only for that patience which is exercised at the time of trial and grief, not for the patience that comes afterwards.

Hadith Commentary:
It is mentioned in the narration that there was no doorkeeper at your (the Prophet’s sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) residence; this is precisely what corresponds to the chapter heading.

Hadith Commentary:
➊
From this hadith, it is understood that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) did not keep any doorkeeper who would convey people's needs to him; rather, people would present their needs directly before him (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). However, when secret attacks from the Khawarij began, and Ali (radi Allahu anhu) was martyred at their hands, and there was also an assassination attempt on Muawiyah (radi Allahu anhu), Muawiyah (radi Allahu anhu) restricted the comings and goings of people.
Although he did this as a precaution, even then Amr ibn Murrah (radi Allahu anhu) narrated this statement of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam):
"Whoever, as a ruler, closes his door before the needy and weak servants,
then Allah, the Exalted, will close the doors of the heavens before him at the time of his need and poverty.
That is, he will receive no help from Allah, the Exalted."
Upon hearing this hadith, Muawiyah (radi Allahu anhu) appointed a special person at the door who would ascertain the needs and necessities of the people and convey them to him.
(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, al-Ahkam, Hadith: 1332)
➋
In any case, in view of current circumstances, there is no harm in appointing a well-mannered, sensible, and experienced person as a doorkeeper.
And Allah knows best.

Benefits and Issues:
Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has narrated this hadith in «باَبُ زِيَارَةِ الْقُبُورِ» (The Chapter on Visiting Graves), indicating that a woman may visit the graveyard. This is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam instructed the woman to fear Allah and to be patient, but did not prohibit her from coming to the graveyard. Women should go to the graves of their loved ones, supplicate for them, remember death, and renew their concern for the Hereafter; they must never display impatience there.

Hadith Commentary:
In a hadith of Muslim, it is stated: "I had forbidden you from visiting graves, but now you may do so." From this, it is understood that in the early period of Islam, there was a prohibition, and later permission was granted.

In other ahadith, it is also mentioned: "Visit the graves, for it reminds one of death," meaning that it brings about tenderness in a person's heart.

In one hadith, it is stated: "Allah has cursed those women who frequently visit graves." In its explanation, Qurtubi said that this curse is upon those women who roam around the graves day and night and do not pay attention to their husbands' affairs, not that visiting graves is absolutely forbidden for women. Because in remembering death, both men and women are equal.

However, if women go to the graveyard and wail and commit acts contrary to the Shariah, then visiting graves will not be permissible for them.

Allamah Ayni Hanafi states:
"Visiting graves is disliked (makruh) for women, rather it is forbidden (haram) in this era, especially for the women of Egypt."
That is, in the present circumstances, visiting graves is disliked, rather forbidden, for women, particularly for Egyptian women. The scholar said this according to his own circumstances; otherwise, nowadays, the condition of women is the same everywhere.

Maulana Waheed uz-Zaman (rahimahullah) states:
Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) has not clearly stated whether visiting graves is permissible or not, because there is a difference of opinion in this matter. And the ahadith in which permission for visiting is mentioned were not according to his conditions. Muslim has narrated marfu‘: "I had forbidden you from visiting graves, now visit them, for it reminds you of the Hereafter." (Waheedi)

The hadith that Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) has narrated here establishes the permissibility of visiting graves in that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) forbade the woman from weeping there. He did not object to the mere act of visiting. From this, the permissibility of visiting graves is established.

However, nowadays, most people go to the graveyard seeking intercession from the deceased and asking their needs from the saints. They cover the graves with cloth, place flowers, arrange for incense and sweeping, and spread carpets there. All these acts are impermissible in the Shariah.

Rather, such visits are absolutely forbidden (haram) in which the limits set by Allah are transgressed and acts contrary to the Shariah are committed there.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
From this hadith, Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has established the permissibility of visiting graves, because the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not prevent the woman from sitting by the grave, and the Prophet’s approval of an action is considered as evidence.
Moreover, in numerous ahadith, visiting graves is explicitly established. Thus, in Sahih Muslim, it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“I had forbidden you from visiting graves, but now you should visit them.”
(Sahih Muslim, Al-Jana’iz, Hadith: 2260 (977))
In another narration:
“I was permitted to visit my mother’s grave, so you too should visit graves, for they remind of the Hereafter.”
(Sahih Muslim, Al-Jana’iz, Hadith: 2259 (976))
In the narration of Al-Mustadrak Al-Hakim:
“Visiting graves softens the heart and brings tears to the eyes, so do not utter obscene or false speech in the graveyard.”
(Al-Mustadrak lil-Hakim: 1/376)
From these ahadith, the permissibility of visiting graves is established for both men and women.
(Fath al-Bari: 3/190)
(2)
Regarding women visiting graves, the following evidences are present:
٭ Once, Aisha radi Allahu anha returned after visiting the grave of her brother, Abdur Rahman ibn Abi Bakr radi Allahu anhu, and Abdullah ibn Abi Mulaykah said:
The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had forbidden visiting graves.
She replied:
Yes, but then he permitted it.
(Al-Sunan al-Kubra lil-Bayhaqi: 4/78)
٭ Aisha radi Allahu anha asked the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam:
O Messenger of Allah! What supplication should I recite when I visit graves? He replied:
“You should recite this supplication:
(as-salamu ‘ala ahl ad-diyar)”
(Sahih Muslim, Al-Jana’iz, Hadith: 2256 (974))
However, it is not permissible for women to visit graves in groups or frequently, because in a hadith it is mentioned that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam cursed women who visit graves excessively.
(Sunan Ibn Majah, Al-Jana’iz, Hadith: 1576)
Women who go to the graveyard adorned and for the purpose of wailing, for them visiting graves is not permissible under any circumstance.
In summary, it is permissible for women to visit graves provided that they do not go repeatedly, do not organize it collectively, and do not commit acts contrary to the Shariah while there.
And Allah knows best.
(3)
Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has given precedence to the topic of visiting graves over other issues and rulings related to funerals, because a person encounters this matter repeatedly. Therefore, Imam Bukhari has considered this topic as the foundation and basis for other rulings.
(Fath al-Bari: 3/192)

Hadith Commentary:
The meaning of the statement of Umar radi Allahu anhu in the chapter heading is that he explained the virtue of patience at the time of calamity: that Allah’s mercies descend upon the patient servant, and he is granted the ability to walk upon the straight path.

The statement of Umar radi Allahu anhu has been connected (mawsul) by Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak. Umar radi Allahu anhu described "salawat" (blessings) and "rahmah" (mercy) as the two side loads of an animal, and the middle load that remains on the back he expressed with: ﴿أُولَئِكَ هُمُ المُهتدونَ﴾ (“They are those who are rightly guided”).

It was mentioned earlier that a woman was sitting at a grave, weeping.
You (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) forbade her, so she became upset.
Then, when she learned it was you, she hurried to come and apologize.
At that time, you (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: What is left now? Patience is only at the first strike of the calamity.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
The glad tidings given in the Noble Qur’an to those who are patient refer specifically to those who demonstrate patience and steadfastness at the very onset of a calamity.
(2)
Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has presented the noble verse regarding patience, that you should seek Allah’s help through patience and prayer. ()
Perhaps Imam Bukhari rahimahullah intends to allude to an incident: When Ibn Abbas radi Allahu anhu received news of his brother Qutham ibn Abbas’s death during a journey, he recited (إِنَّا لِلَّـهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ), then stepped aside from the road and began to perform prayer, offering two units (rak‘ah) and sitting for a long while.
When he rose, he began reciting the verse: ﴿وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ﴾ (“And seek help through patience…”).
From this, it is understood that prayer (salah) has a significant connection to enduring hardships and afflictions.
()

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
This hadith is extremely concise; further detail is provided ahead.
The intention of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was that two calamities should not be combined upon her:
Firstly, her child had passed away, and secondly, that due to impatience, her reward would also be lost.
From this hadith, it is also understood that any man can prevent any woman from wrongdoing, just as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) forbade this woman from wailing at the grave and instructed her to be patient.
(2)
From the chapter heading of Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah), it is evident that such action was not exclusive to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).
The obligation of enjoining good and forbidding evil (amr bil-ma‘ruf wa nahi ‘anil-munkar) can be fulfilled by any person. Furthermore, it is permissible to address women for admonition and advice, whether they are elderly or young.
In previous ahadith, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) addressed women to encourage them towards reward, that one should be patient in the face of calamity, and in this hadith, he addressed them to warn of a bad outcome, that through impatience, piety is lost.
(Fath al-Bari: 3/161)

Hadith Commentary: Benefits and Issues: When a calamity befalls a person or he is afflicted with some distress, it is difficult at that moment to maintain composure and exercise patience. Gradually, the grief dissipates on its own and the distress lessens until it eventually disappears. Therefore, it becomes easier to be patient later on. For this reason, the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said that true patience, which is the cause of reward and virtue, is that which is exercised at the first blow and at the initial shock. Patience after wailing and lamentation is fruitless.

1:
The meaning is that when the initial shock of the calamity strikes the heart, if a person exercises patience at that moment and does not display impatience through his actions and behavior, then this is perfect patience for which reward is promised. Later on, everyone is inevitably compelled to become patient.

Benefits and Issues:
➊
After crying, wailing, and screaming, when a person simply becomes exhausted, this cannot be considered patience (sabr).
True patience is that when a calamity strikes, nothing is said except (Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un), and one demonstrates submission and contentment with Allah’s decree.
There should be no panic, lamentation, mourning, or complaint against Allah.

➋
Due to the intensity of her emotions and because she did not recognize you, the shortcoming that occurred from this woman regarding the right of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was forgiven by him.

➌
Whoever expresses patience and contentment at the death of his minor children is given the glad tidings of Paradise.
It is narrated from Anas (radi Allahu anhu) that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Any Muslim whose three children die before reaching maturity, Allah will admit him to Paradise by virtue of His mercy upon those children.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Funerals, Chapter: Section on one whose child dies, Hadith 1248)
Similarly, in another narration, the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “A Muslim whose three children die will not be touched by the Fire of Hell.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Funerals, Hadith: 1251)
Furthermore, in the narration of Abu Sa’id al-Khudri (radi Allahu anhu), it is mentioned that the Prophet addressed the women and said: “Any woman among you who sends ahead three children (i.e., they die), they will become a barrier for her from the Fire of Hell.”
A woman asked: “And what about two children?”
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) replied: “The same ruling applies for two.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Funerals, Hadith: 1249)

Benefits and Issues:
(w)
The patience that is required by the Shari‘ah is this: when a calamity strikes or grief befalls, at that moment one restrains oneself from improper actions and words. Because at the time of intense grief, it is very difficult to control oneself and to distinguish between what is permissible and impermissible. The person who, at such a moment, keeps the rulings of the Shari‘ah in view—true patience is that of such a person. It is for him that all those divine rewards will be attained, which have been promised in the Qur’an and Hadith. As time passes, patience naturally begins to come on its own. This kind of patience is not something for which anyone should be praised or for which one should hope for reward.