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Hadith 23

23 - حَدَّثَنَا الْحُمَيْدِيُّ، ثنا سُفْيَانُ، ثنا أَيُّوبُ السِّخْتِيَانِيُّ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِيرِينَ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ السُّلَمِيِّ قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ يَقُولُ: " أَلَا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا، أَوْ تَقْوًي عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَانَ أَوْلَاكُمْ أَوْ أَحَقُّكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيَّ صَلَّي اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، مَا عَلِمْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّي اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ، وَلَا أَنْكَحَ ابْنَةً مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ عَلَي أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَيْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً، وَإِنَّ أَحَدَكُمُ الْيَوْمَ لَيُغْلِي بِصَدَقَةِ الْمَرْأَةِ حَتَّي تَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةً فِي نَفْسِهِ يَقُولُ: كَلِفْتُ إِلَيْكِ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ قَالَ: وَكُنْتُ غُلَامًا شَابَّا فَلَمْ أَدْرِ مَا عَلَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ " ¤قَالَ: وَأُخْرَي تَقُولُونَهَا لِبَعْضِ مَنْ يُقْتَلُ فِي مَغَازِيكُمْ هَذِهِ قُتِلَ فُلَانٌ شَهِيدًا، أَوْ مَاتَ فُلَانٌ شَهِيدًا، وَلَعَلَّهُ أَنْ يَكُونَ قَدْ أَوْقَرَ دُفَّ رَاحِلَتِهِ أَوْ عَجُزَهَا ذَهَبًا، وَقَامَ يَلْتَمِسُ التِّجَارَةَ فَلَا تَقُولُوا ذَاكُمْ، وَلَكِنْ قُولُوا كَمَا قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّي اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، أَوْ كَمَا قَالَ مُحَمَّدٌ صَلَّي اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «مَنْ قُتِلَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ فَهُوَ فِي الْجَنَّةِ» قَالَ سُفْيَانُ: كَانَ أَيُّوبُ أَبَدًا يَشُكُّ فِيهِ هَكَذَا أَوْ قَالَ سُفْيَانُ: فَإِنْ كَانَ حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ حَدَّثَ بِهِ هَكَذَا وَإِلَّا فَلَمْ يَحْفَظْ
Abu Ajfa Salmi narrates: I heard Sayyiduna Umar bin Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) saying: Beware! Do not set high dowries for women, because if this was a means of honor in this world or a means of piety in the sight of Allah Almighty, then the person most deserving of it among you would have been the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). To my knowledge, whenever the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married any of his wives, or married off any of his daughters, the dowry of none of them exceeded "twelve uqiyah," but today one of you pays a high dowry to his wife, to the extent that enmity is created in his heart for that woman and he says: Because of you, I had to face hardship. The narrator says: I was a young man and did not understand what was meant by "‘alaq al-qirbah." Sayyiduna Umar bin Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) also said: Another thing is that you people say about someone killed in battle that so-and-so died a martyr's death, or so-and-so died a martyr's death, whereas it is possible that he had loaded his riding animal with goods, or he was going for trade carrying gold and silver. Do not say this, rather say what the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (the narrator is unsure, perhaps these are the words) what the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Whoever is killed in the way of Allah will enter Paradise." Sufyan says: The narrator named Ayyub always expressed doubt in the wording of this narration in this way. The narrator named Sufyan says: If Hammad bin Zayd has also narrated this hadith in these words, then it is correct, otherwise this narration is not preserved.
Hadith Reference مسند الحميدي / 23
Hadith Grading محدثین: إسناد صحيح
Hadith Takhrij «إسناده صحيح، وقد استوفينا تخريجه في موارد الظمآن 184/4-185 برقم 1259، وصحيح ابن حبان برقم 4620 »
Explanation & Benefits
Shaykh Muhammad Ibrahim bin Basheer
Benefit:
Sayyiduna Umar radi Allahu anhu was an extremely prudent and intelligent person. He kept a close watch on every matter, to the extent that he would resolve every issue arising in marital affairs in an excellent manner. For example: people began to set excessively high dowers (mahr), and as a result, discord started to arise between husband and wife, and the husband began to taunt the wife. Some husbands who had set a high dower even started saying: “I worked hard and toiled for your sake and set such a high dower.” Because of this, Sayyiduna Umar radi Allahu anhu forbade setting a high dower. However, in the Qur’an and Hadith, there is no fixed limit for its minimum or maximum.

This hadith also explains the issue that Sayyiduna Umar radi Allahu anhu said: No one should be called a martyr (shaheed), and this is the truth and the correct position. Imam Bukhari rahimahullah established a chapter: “Chapter: It should not be said that so-and-so is a martyr” (Sahih al-Bukhari, before Hadith: 2898). It should not be said that so-and-so is a martyr. Its details can be seen in Fath al-Bari (7/175, 176).
Source: Musnad al-Humaydi: Commentary by Muhammad Ibrahim bin Bashir, Page: 23