Muslim

Hadith Commentary:

Benefits and Issues:
This hadith shows that the women related to Ja'far (radi Allahu anhu) were weeping loudly due to natural and instinctive grief, and because of the intensity of their sorrow and distress, they were not aware of it. Therefore, even when others tried to stop them, they did not desist. And the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), despite his intense grief, was content with the will of Allah, and in the face of the martyrdom of his three dear and beloved companions, he continued to uphold religious and legal matters. Eventually, he instructed the informant to use force, saying: stop them by force, put dust in their mouths. However, that person did not have enough courage and strength to do so. For this reason, Aisha (radi Allahu anha) wished that he would refrain from repeatedly informing the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), from which it is understood that the women were only raising their voices. They were not performing wailing (niyahah) and the like, otherwise the other noble Companions (radi Allahu anhum ajma'in) would have stopped them. And the purpose of that man was to block the means (sadd al-dhara'i), lest they begin wailing (niyahah).

Hadith Commentary:
1.
The martyrdom of Ja'far ibn Abi Talib (radi Allahu anhu) was a cause of great honor and respect in the sight of Allah, but the women of the household, compelled by natural emotions, began to weep and wail.
It should be remembered that the prohibition of weeping is only when it is accompanied by lamentation (wailing).
It is possible that those women were weeping uncontrollably, or they thought that the mentioned person was speaking on his own behalf.
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had not given him any command, so they paid no attention to what he said.
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
"Put dust in their mouths."
This means: leave them to their state.
Throw dust in their mouths; if they do not listen, then let them be.
Its literal meaning can also be intended, that is, put dust in their mouths.
Since they were noble women from a great family, he did not dare to throw dust in their mouths.
2.
It should be clear that the women who were weeping were not the wives of Ja'far (radi Allahu anhu), because he had only one well-known wife, Asma bint Umais (radi Allahu anha).
It is possible that they were other women from the family.
(Fath al-Bari: 7/644.)

Hadith Commentary:
The name of Zayd ibn Harithah’s mother was Sa‘diyyah, and his father’s name was Harithah, with Abu Usamah as his kunyah.
He was a distinguished member of the Banu Quda‘ah, a respected tribe of Yemen.
In his childhood, he was abducted by raiders.
He was sold as a slave in the market of ‘Ukaz for four hundred dirhams to Hakim ibn Hizam, who brought him to his paternal aunt, Umm al-Mu’minin Khadijah radi Allahu anha, and from there he came into the service of the Noble Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
When his father received news of him in Yemen, he hurriedly came and requested his return in the court of Prophethood.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave Zayd ibn Harithah full choice: if he wished to return home, he could happily go with his father, and if he wished, he could remain with the Prophet.
Zayd ibn Harithah radi Allahu anhu preferred the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam over his own family and did not go with his father and uncle.
This was because the favors and noble character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had deeply settled in his heart.
After this incident, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam took him to the place of Hijr and, addressing those present, said: “O people! Bear witness that I have adopted Zayd as my son.
He is my heir and I am his heir.”
After this, he began to be called Zayd ibn Muhammad.
This continued until the following verse of the Noble Qur’an was revealed: call adopted sons by (the names of) their fathers.
This is more just in the sight of Allah.
After that, he was again called Zayd ibn Harithah.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam arranged his marriage with Umm Ayman, his freed slave woman.
From her, his son Usamah was born.
It is sufficient for his virtue that Allah mentioned him by name in a verse of the Noble Qur’an and narrated an incident about him, whereas no other Companion is mentioned by name in the Qur’an.
He was martyred with great bravery in the Battle of Mu’tah in 8 AH.
At that time, he was 55 years old.
After him, the command of the army was taken up by Ja‘far al-Tayyar radi Allahu anhu.
He was the respected son of the Prophet’s noble uncle, Abu Talib.
His mother’s name was Fatimah.
He was among the earliest to accept Islam, along with thirty-one others.
He was ten years older than ‘Ali radi Allahu anhu.
In both appearance and character, he greatly resembled the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Distressed by the persecution of the Quraysh, he also participated in the migration to Abyssinia, and in the court of the Negus, he delivered such a passionate speech about Islam and the Messenger of Islam that the King of Abyssinia accepted Islam.
In 7 AH, he arrived in Madinah at the time when the monotheists had conquered Khaybar.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam embraced him and said: “I cannot say whether I am happier at your arrival or at the conquest of Khaybar.”
He too was martyred with great bravery in the Battle of Mu’tah, and this news caused the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam immense grief.
The house of Ja‘far radi Allahu anhu became a place of mourning.
On this occasion, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said what is mentioned in the hadith here.
After him, ‘Abdullah ibn Abi Rawahah radi Allahu anhu took command of the army.
He was present at the Pledge of ‘Aqabah.
He participated in Badr, Uhud, Khandaq, and all subsequent battles except the conquest of Makkah and those after it.
He was a very obedient and dutiful Companion.
He belonged to the tribe of Khazraj.
He accepted Islam on the night of ‘Aqabah and was appointed as the leader (naqib) of Banu Harithah, and a bond of brotherhood (mu’akhah) was established between him and Miqdad ibn Aswad al-Kindi radi Allahu anhu.
He was the first to bring the good news of the victory at Badr to Madinah.
He drank the cup of martyrdom with bravery in the Battle of Mu’tah.
After him, according to the prophecy of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the Sword of Allah, Khalid radi Allahu anhu, took command, and under his leadership, the Muslims achieved a great victory.
Imam al-Bukhari rahimahullah has established from this hadith that wailing and mourning over the dead by calling out and announcing is so impermissible that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam ordered that earth be put in the mouths of the family of Ja‘far radi Allahu anhu because of their inappropriate act of wailing and mourning, which is a sign of his displeasure, and this is an idiom indicating extreme anger.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
The meaning of this heading is that if a person afflicted by calamity sits patiently in his home and people come to offer condolences, then this will not be considered a pre-Islamic (jahiliyyah) custom, which is religiously prohibited.

(2)
From this hadith, it is understood that the weeping and wailing of the women of the household upon the martyrdom of Ja'far (radi Allahu anhu) was not to the degree of being prohibited (haram), because if it had been haram, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) would have sent someone else as well to stop them from this act. For it is impossible for the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) to tolerate falsehood and allow it to persist.
Nor can it be imagined about the female Companions (sahabiyyat) that they would persist in a prohibited act and, despite being repeatedly stopped, would not desist from it.
And this permissible type of weeping was only prohibited so that it would not reach the level of prohibition (haram).

(3)
The wisdom and discernment of Aisha (radi Allahu anha) is also commendable, as she correctly assessed the situation and said in her heart that this person is indeed strange: neither does he act according to the wish of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) by explaining and persuading the women to refrain from wailing and lamentation, nor does he desist from repeatedly coming to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and troubling him with reports.

Benefits and Issues:
It is permissible and recommended (mustahabb) for the family of the deceased and their relatives and friends to sit together and gather on such occasions, but it is not necessary that one must sit on the ground; rather, depending on the circumstances, there is no harm in sitting on mats, cots, or chairs.

However, considering it obligatory to sit for three days for the sake of those coming and going for condolences is incorrect, because this is not a matter of Islamic law (shar‘i) that it should be deemed necessary. At most, it can be considered a permissible custom. And Allah knows best what is correct.

Furthermore, during these days, the person coming for condolences, along with those present, considers it necessary to first raise their hands and make supplication (du‘a). And if someone does not do so, or if the family of the deceased does not adopt this method, it is taken badly, and that person or the family of the deceased is considered to be denying supplication. However, the issue is not about the importance and virtue of supplication, for that is well established and no one denies the importance and virtue of supplication. The real issue is about making supplication in the manner prescribed by the Sunnah.

Repeatedly raising the hands and making supplication has become a custom, and often nothing is even recited in it, or only Surah al-Fatihah is recited. Whereas, in Surah al-Fatihah, there is no aspect of supplicating for the forgiveness of the deceased. Thus, this method is not from the Sunnah; it is merely a custom. Secondly, in this way, supplication for the forgiveness of the deceased generally does not even occur.

Now the question arises: what is the Sunnah method of offering condolences? That method is as follows:

Firstly, the family of the deceased sitting for several days with such formality is an act for which it is extremely difficult to find any evidence from the era of the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), the era of the Companions (radi Allahu anhum ajma‘in), or the Followers (Tabi‘in). The main thing is to participate in the funeral and burial and to supplicate for the forgiveness of the deceased. After that, it is questionable for the family of the deceased to sit especially on mats or in rows. After the burial, they should become occupied with their own affairs, and whenever and wherever one meets the family of the deceased, condolences should be offered.

With what words and in what manner should condolences be offered? It is better to first advise the family of the deceased to be patient and content with Allah’s decree. By reciting (Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji‘un), it should be made clear that everyone will ultimately face the same end. Supplication for the forgiveness of the deceased should be made without raising the hands, and for the family of the deceased, supplication for beautiful patience (sabr jamil) should be made. And those supplications should be recited which are authentically reported from the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) for this occasion.

For example, when the child of the Prophet’s (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) daughter Zaynab was in the throes of death, she sent a message to the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) to come. He advised her to be patient and seek reward, saying: “To Allah belongs what He takes, and to Him belongs what He gives, and everything with Him has an appointed term, so let her be patient and seek reward.” (Sahih Bukhari, Book of Funerals, Chapter 32, Hadith 1284)

Indeed, what Allah took belongs to Him, and what He gave belongs to Him, and for each there is a fixed time with Him.

When Abu Salamah (radi Allahu anhu) passed away, the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) went to his wife, Umm Salamah (radi Allahu anha), to offer condolences and supplicated with these words:

«اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لأَبِى سَلَمَةَ وَارْفَعْ دَرَجَتَهُ فِى الْمَهْدِيِّينَ وَاخْلُفْهُ فِى عَقِبِهِ فِى الْغَابِرِينَ وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلَهُ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ وَافْسَحْ لَهُ فِى قَبْرِهِ. وَنَوِّرْ لَهُ فِيهِ» (Sahih Muslim, Book of Funerals, Hadith 920)

“O Allah! Forgive Abu Salamah, raise his rank among the rightly guided, and be the successor over those he has left behind. Forgive us and him, O Lord of the worlds. Expand his grave for him and illuminate it for him.”

Whoever does not remember these Sunnah supplications and words, he should supplicate in his own language for the forgiveness of the deceased and for beautiful patience for the family, without raising the hands, and say such things that bring comfort to the bereaved and lessen the effects of grief on their hearts and minds.

Even on this occasion, since it is not established from the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) to raise the hands in supplication, this custom should be avoided, and supplication should be made without raising the hands, in accordance with the Sunnah.

1848. Commentary:

➊ Upon the death of a close relative, a person may sit outside the house in an open place in a state of grief so that other people may come to offer condolences and sit with him and express their sympathy.

➋ Grief may also be expressed upon someone's martyrdom, even though it is a death of the highest rank; nevertheless, it is still death, which is a cause of sorrow and distress.

➌ "May Allah humiliate this senseless one"—a person should only involve himself in matters that are within his capacity. Clearly, only a close relative could have silenced the women; what could a stranger have done? Therefore, after informing, he should have sat down calmly so that Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) could have called a relevant person, but instead, he neither rested himself nor allowed you to sit in peace, even though it was a time of grief. Excessive noise and commotion are not appropriate on such occasions. In any case, that person was pious. It is established that wailing aloud over the deceased is not permissible; that is why the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) ordered it to be stopped. It is another matter that the order was not implemented.

➍ It is permissible to take an oath for emphasis.