Muslim

Hadith Commentary: Benefits and Issues: Generally, when people marry, they look at a woman’s beauty and wealth, and her family background; her religion and character are considered only at the very end. However, from the Islamic perspective, the real essence is a woman’s religion (deen), faith (iman), and her character. If, on the basis of religion, other qualities are also present, then it is light upon light (nur ‘ala nur). But if one abandons religion and chooses other traits or reasons, it becomes a cause of distress for the man, as the statement of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is: “Do not marry a woman merely for her beauty, for her beauty may lead to her ruin. Nor marry for wealth, for wealth can cause rebellion and transgression. Rather, marry on the basis of religion. A religious, black, and ill-mannered slave woman is better.”

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
Taking lineage and family background into consideration at the time of marriage is not devoid of benefits and advantages, but giving importance to religiosity and moral character is absolutely essential.

(2)
It is not necessary to be equal in wealth, as for example, ‘Abdur-Rahman ibn ‘Awf radi Allahu anhu, who was a merchant and a wealthy person, married his sister to Bilal radi Allahu anhu, who was an Abyssinian slave.
(Sunan al-Daraqutni: 3/302)
Similarly, being equal in lineage and family background is also not necessary, because the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself married Zayd ibn Harithah radi Allahu anhu (who was a slave) to Zaynab bint Jahsh radi Allahu anhuma (who was a Qurayshi woman), as is indicated in the Noble Qur’an.
(al-Ahzab: 37)

Benefits and Issues:
The phrase (تربت يداك) "May your hands be covered with dust" is not intended as a curse, but rather, according to Arabic idiom, carries the meaning of supplication and encouragement.
In relation to marriage with a woman, only this final point should be given importance.
Other matters are secondary and additional.
If they are attained, then so be it, and they are a great blessing.
Otherwise, they do not hold such importance that, because of them, the real matter—religious commitment—should be neglected.

1) In this narration, although there is no explicit mention of marrying adulterous women, the Prophet’s (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) statement, “Obtain the one with religion,” implies that one should not marry an adulteress, because she is not a woman of religion. By “woman of religion” is meant a woman who is steadfast in fulfilling the obligations and requirements of religion.

2) In every matter, one should keep the company of religious people, for this provides the opportunity to benefit from their character, habits, and spiritual blessings.

3) It is not prohibited to marry a woman of lineage, beauty, or wealth; rather, what is blameworthy is to not give importance to the most significant quality, which is religiosity. If, along with religiosity, the other qualities are also present, then it is an added blessing. However, to reject the proposal of a religious woman merely because she is not wealthy or of noble lineage is not correct.

4) The meaning of words should be taken as it is commonly understood in society, whether that meaning is good or bad. The apparent words themselves are not to be considered, such as “Tiribat yadak” and “Thakilatka ummuk” and so on. Apparently, these are words of supplication (against someone), but their literal meaning is not intended.

5) A person should make decisions after considering the future and the eventual outcome. Because of a righteous woman, a man will be blessed in the future, as she will safeguard her husband’s home, family, wealth, and honor, and will consider obedience and compliance as her own good fortune. On the contrary, an unrighteous woman will become the cause of many troubles.

6) The majority of people make mistakes in choosing a spouse for marriage. This majority cannot be taken as proof. The correct standard is only that which the Shari‘ah has set, i.e., giving preference to religiosity.

Benefits and Issues:

➊
Marriage is a lifelong relationship; therefore, in seeking a life partner, one strives to find such a person with whom life becomes pleasant.

➋
The desire for a good wife or a good husband is a legitimate desire; however, the criterion for this selection should be correct.

➌
Most people consider outward things as the standard of superiority.
Many people prefer to marry into wealthy families so that they may share in their wealth, even though wealth is a fleeting shadow.
A rich person can become poor in the blink of an eye, and a poor person’s fortunes can change and he may acquire wealth; therefore, this is not a reliable criterion for establishing a permanent relationship.

➍
Many people prefer to form relationships in honorable families, but it is not necessary that every individual of a family considered honorable in the world is also superior in terms of morals and character.

➎
Most people are enamored by outward beauty and charm, but this is an extremely unreliable criterion because, as age advances, beauty continues to diminish.

➏
The truly reliable criterion is righteousness (noble character) and piety (taqwa).
A righteous wife remains dignified even in poverty and, in wealth, does not become arrogant and insult her husband. Often, women from lower families possess the bad habit of pride and arrogance and try to dominate their husbands, due to which love does not develop between husband and wife, which is necessary for a pleasant life. But a righteous wife, who is aware of the rights and duties of her husband—whether she is from a high family or a low one—turns the home into a paradise.

➐
The literal meaning of (تربت يداك) is:
“May your hands be covered with dust,”
that is, may you become destitute, may you have nothing but dust in your hands. However, the Arabs do not use this idiom in this literal sense; rather, they use this phrase on occasions of praise or censure.
Here, praise is intended: whoever attains a righteous woman is praiseworthy, for his life will pass well.
And due to a righteous wife who assists in goodness, his Hereafter will also be good, and in every respect, he will be successful.

Takhrij:
«أخرجه البخاري، النكاح، باب الأكفاء في الدين، حديث:5090، ومسلم، الرضاع، باب استحباب نكاح ذات الدين، حديث:1466، وأبوداود، النكاح، حديث:2047، والنسائي، النكاح، حديث:3232، وابن ماجه، النكاح، حديث:1858، والترمذي: لم أجده، وعند حديث جابر رضي الله تعالي عنه، حديث:1086، وأحمد:2 /428.»©

Explanation:
From this hadith, it is understood that in every situation, a religious woman should be chosen for marriage. One should not be infatuated with someone's wealth and riches or beauty and charm, because a woman will not merely be a wife, but will also be the mother of children. And it is evident that she will only be able to provide religious upbringing to her children when she herself is righteous and attached to the religion.