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Hadith 1859
Umm al-Mu’minin Aisha Siddiqa (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates: (In Yemen) eleven women gathered in one place and made a pact among themselves to describe the condition of their husbands, hiding nothing.
The first woman said: My husband is like the meat of a lean camel placed on the top of a mountain; neither is the path easy so that one may climb to the top, nor is the meat fat enough that one would endure hardship to bring it down.
The second said: If I begin to describe my husband, where would I stop? I fear I may not be able to describe everything, but if I do, I can mention all his open and hidden faults.
The third said: My husband is very tall; if I speak, I get divorced, and if I remain silent, he leaves me hanging (neither married nor divorced).
The fourth said: My husband is like the night of Tihamah (moderate)—neither too hot nor too cold (i.e., always the same), neither too fearful nor too sorrowful.
The fifth said: If my husband comes home, he is like a leopard, and when he goes out, he is like a lion (and so noble in temperament) that he never asks about what he has left behind.
The sixth said: My husband (is such a glutton) that if he eats, he finishes everything, and if he drinks, he gulps it all down, and when he sleeps, he lies alone; he never even reaches out his hand towards my stomach, nor does he ever inquire about my joys or sorrows.
The seventh said: My husband is misguided, weak-chested, and oppressive; every fault is present in him. (If he speaks) he may break my head or wound me, or do both.
The eighth said: My husband’s touch is like that of a rabbit (i.e., he has a delicate body), and his fragrance is like that of zar’nab (a kind of grass).
The ninth said: My husband is of high status (noble), with long soles, very generous; his house is near the assembly (a man of opinion).
The tenth said: My husband’s name is Malik (owner of property), and how can I praise Malik (he is above all the praises that come to mind)? At his house, there are many camels (for guests), and they rarely go to pasture, and when they hear the sound of the drum, they are sure they will be slaughtered (for guests).
The eleventh said: My husband is Abu Zar’ and what can I say about him! He made my ears heavy with jewelry and filled my arms with fat, and kept me so happy that I began to praise him. He fed me well and made me fat, so much so that I considered myself very beautiful and plump. He found my family to be such that they barely had a few goats (I was poor), then brought me into such a prosperous family that had horses and camels (i.e., they had both), oxen to plow and men to thresh grain (all were there). In his house, if I spoke, no one would find fault with me, and if I slept, I would sleep till morning, and if I drank water, I would drink with great satisfaction.
Abu Zar’s mother, i.e., my mother-in-law, she too was a very capable woman; her wardrobe was always full, and her house was spacious.
Abu Zar’s son, how good and delicate-bodied he was, thin and slender, he could sleep in the space of a drawn sword, and his food was so little that the foreleg of a four-month-old goat would fill his stomach.
Abu Zar’s daughter! Subhan Allah! Obedient to her parents, plump, so much so that she could fill her cloak. (Her appearance and character were such that) she was always a cause of anger and jealousy for her co-wife.
Abu Zar’s maidservant, she too was praiseworthy; she never spread our secrets, always kept the house’s secrets hidden, never stole food, never left trash in the house, always kept it clean and tidy.
One day it happened that Abu Zar went out at a time when the milk vessel was being churned. When he went out, he saw a woman with two children like leopards playing with two pomegranates under her arms. Seeing her, he divorced me and married her.
After that, I married a noble man who rode a swift horse and carried a sharp spear in his hand. He gave me many blessings and gave me a pair of every kind of livestock and said, “O Umm Zar’, eat yourself and feed your relatives as well (i.e., he allowed me to be generous).” Umm Zar’ says: Even if I gather all that he gave me, it would not equal even a small vessel of Abu Zar’.
Umm al-Mu’minin Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) says: (After hearing this whole story) the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “I am to you as Abu Zar’ was to Umm Zar’.” (Benefit: In one narration, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Abu Zar’ divorced Umm Zar’, but I will not do so.” Upon this, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) replied: “May my parents be sacrificed for you, O Messenger of Allah! You treat me with even more kindness, love, and affection than Abu Zar’ did.” (Fath al-Bari: 9/276))
The first woman said: My husband is like the meat of a lean camel placed on the top of a mountain; neither is the path easy so that one may climb to the top, nor is the meat fat enough that one would endure hardship to bring it down.
The second said: If I begin to describe my husband, where would I stop? I fear I may not be able to describe everything, but if I do, I can mention all his open and hidden faults.
The third said: My husband is very tall; if I speak, I get divorced, and if I remain silent, he leaves me hanging (neither married nor divorced).
The fourth said: My husband is like the night of Tihamah (moderate)—neither too hot nor too cold (i.e., always the same), neither too fearful nor too sorrowful.
The fifth said: If my husband comes home, he is like a leopard, and when he goes out, he is like a lion (and so noble in temperament) that he never asks about what he has left behind.
The sixth said: My husband (is such a glutton) that if he eats, he finishes everything, and if he drinks, he gulps it all down, and when he sleeps, he lies alone; he never even reaches out his hand towards my stomach, nor does he ever inquire about my joys or sorrows.
The seventh said: My husband is misguided, weak-chested, and oppressive; every fault is present in him. (If he speaks) he may break my head or wound me, or do both.
The eighth said: My husband’s touch is like that of a rabbit (i.e., he has a delicate body), and his fragrance is like that of zar’nab (a kind of grass).
The ninth said: My husband is of high status (noble), with long soles, very generous; his house is near the assembly (a man of opinion).
The tenth said: My husband’s name is Malik (owner of property), and how can I praise Malik (he is above all the praises that come to mind)? At his house, there are many camels (for guests), and they rarely go to pasture, and when they hear the sound of the drum, they are sure they will be slaughtered (for guests).
The eleventh said: My husband is Abu Zar’ and what can I say about him! He made my ears heavy with jewelry and filled my arms with fat, and kept me so happy that I began to praise him. He fed me well and made me fat, so much so that I considered myself very beautiful and plump. He found my family to be such that they barely had a few goats (I was poor), then brought me into such a prosperous family that had horses and camels (i.e., they had both), oxen to plow and men to thresh grain (all were there). In his house, if I spoke, no one would find fault with me, and if I slept, I would sleep till morning, and if I drank water, I would drink with great satisfaction.
Abu Zar’s mother, i.e., my mother-in-law, she too was a very capable woman; her wardrobe was always full, and her house was spacious.
Abu Zar’s son, how good and delicate-bodied he was, thin and slender, he could sleep in the space of a drawn sword, and his food was so little that the foreleg of a four-month-old goat would fill his stomach.
Abu Zar’s daughter! Subhan Allah! Obedient to her parents, plump, so much so that she could fill her cloak. (Her appearance and character were such that) she was always a cause of anger and jealousy for her co-wife.
Abu Zar’s maidservant, she too was praiseworthy; she never spread our secrets, always kept the house’s secrets hidden, never stole food, never left trash in the house, always kept it clean and tidy.
One day it happened that Abu Zar went out at a time when the milk vessel was being churned. When he went out, he saw a woman with two children like leopards playing with two pomegranates under her arms. Seeing her, he divorced me and married her.
After that, I married a noble man who rode a swift horse and carried a sharp spear in his hand. He gave me many blessings and gave me a pair of every kind of livestock and said, “O Umm Zar’, eat yourself and feed your relatives as well (i.e., he allowed me to be generous).” Umm Zar’ says: Even if I gather all that he gave me, it would not equal even a small vessel of Abu Zar’.
Umm al-Mu’minin Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) says: (After hearing this whole story) the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “I am to you as Abu Zar’ was to Umm Zar’.” (Benefit: In one narration, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Abu Zar’ divorced Umm Zar’, but I will not do so.” Upon this, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) replied: “May my parents be sacrificed for you, O Messenger of Allah! You treat me with even more kindness, love, and affection than Abu Zar’ did.” (Fath al-Bari: 9/276))
