Mu'jam al-Saghir

Explanation:
1:
A mother has to go through three difficult situations:
The first stage is when she carries the child in her womb for nine months, enduring hardship and pain.
The second stage is when the time of childbirth arrives;
Only the mother knows what difficulties she faces at the time of delivery.
The third stage is that of breastfeeding.
This is the reason why, among relatives, the mother has been declared the most virtuous and the most deserving of kindness and maintaining ties of kinship.

Benefits and Issues:
➊ Two types of rights are obligatory upon a person: financial and physical. In both types of rights, the rank of the parents comes first, and among the parents, the mother is most deserving of good treatment. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), upon being asked repeatedly, stated three times that the mother is the most deserving of good treatment in this world, and on the fourth time, he mentioned the father. The reason for this is that the mother is naturally weak and soft-hearted, due to which most people end up disobeying their mothers.

➋ The reason for mentioning the mother three times and the father once is that there are three types of hardships which the mother alone endures: the hardship of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. Later, in upbringing, the father also participates, which is why he is mentioned the fourth time.

➌ Another reason for emphasizing good treatment towards the mother could be that the mother’s affairs are confined within the four walls (of the home), whereas people are aware of the father’s affairs. A person, to avoid people’s criticism, often treats the father well, but the mother is deprived of this.

➍ Since the mother is of weak constitution, it is possible that she may not be able to bear disobedience and bad treatment, and a supplication (du‘a) against the child may escape her lips, causing the person to be destroyed due to that supplication.

➎ From the last part of the hadith, it is understood that the closer someone is (in relation), the greater their right. Therefore, it is necessary to observe the proper order of precedence. Most people treat friends and strangers well, but their behavior towards relatives and parents is not correct. Such an action is also questionable.

➏ In our society, if there is discord between husband and wife and the matter reaches divorce, the children often become spoiled. The mother instructs the children to disobey the father, and the father speaks ill of the mother. In such a situation, what should the children do? This is a very important question, and its answer is found in the teachings of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam): in such a situation, a person should continue to give both mother and father their rights, give precedence to good treatment towards the mother, and give the father precedence in honor and respect. One should never mistreat the father because of the mother, nor mistreat the mother because of the father.