Ibn Majah

Benefits and Issues:
➊
In permissible matters, one should avoid excess and deficiency, and adopt a moderate approach.

➋
Setting a very high dowry (mahr) is neither a virtuous act nor a matter of honor.

➌
The outcome of setting a dowry (mahr) beyond one’s means is not good.
The man works hard to pay it, and if he cannot fulfill it, resentment develops in his heart.
He thinks to himself that he has fallen into hardship because of this woman, whereas an appropriate dowry (mahr) can be paid easily, which increases mutual love between husband and wife, and this is what is intended by the Shari‘ah.

➍
The meaning of “carrying the rope of the water-skin” is that I had to labor and do menial work to pay that amount, even to the extent of doing jobs that are considered insignificant.

➎
The “sweat of the water-skin” also carries the same meaning: that I worked as a water carrier and sweated in this labor, only then was I able to pay my dowry (mahr).
When matters reach such reproach and taunt, married life becomes bitter. To avoid this, the dowry (mahr) should be set according to one’s means.

➏
When this is the condition of dowry (mahr), which is both commanded and Sunnah, then how can it be permissible to bear the burden of unlawful expenses to fulfill non-Shari‘ah customs and traditions?
This is the reason why there are frequent disputes in our homes, and matters even reach divorce.

➐
“Mawlid Arabi” refers to a person whose parents are not pure Arabs; similarly, a non-Arab or someone of mixed lineage is also called “mawlid.”