Ibn Majah

Fiqh al-Hadith:
Intimacy with One’s Wife While Fasting and the Hadith of Bukhari:
The deniers of hadith mislead the public greatly by using a hadith from Sahih Bukhari, and simple-minded people fall for their deception. In the hadith of Bukhari, it is stated:
“Sayyidah Aisha radi Allahu anha narrates that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would kiss his wives and have intimacy (mubasharah) with them while he was fasting.”
Taking this hadith, the deniers of hadith attack the scholars of hadith and Imam Bukhari so harshly that it is astonishing... They use such emotional language that anyone can be deceived... Without going into further detail about their actions, let us turn to the hadith itself.
Among us, “mubasharah” is commonly understood to mean sexual relations between husband and wife, and the deniers use this very notion and impression to conceal the facts.
In Arabic, mubasharah means the touching of bodies, the contact of one body with another.
Imam Shawkani says: «ان المباشره فى الاصل التقاء البشرتين . . .»
“That is, mubasharah in its essence means the meeting of two bodies.” [منقول، تفهيم اسلام]
In ‘Awn al-Ma‘bud, the commentary on Sunan Abi Dawud, it is stated:
«معني المباشرة ههنا المر باليد من التقاء البشرتين»
“That is, here mubasharah only means touching with the hand, and the meeting of two bodies.”
Is there any aspect of prohibition in this?
She is your wife, not someone untouchable, so if you, as husband and wife, even while fasting during the day, come together and rest, embrace each other, or show affection to your wife, what difference does it make to the fast?
But alas, due to prejudice and denial of hadith, the aim is no longer to understand the religion, but rather to deceive people for the sake of one’s own views, and by creating an emotional atmosphere, a hateful campaign is run against the hadith.
The next part of this hadith further clarifies it; observe:
«كان املككم لاربه» That is, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had the greatest control over his desires among you... To make it clear for understanding, if it is not burdensome, let me repeat:
He would kiss his wives, have intimacy (mubasharah) with them, and he was the one among you with the greatest control over his desires.
The question is, if mubasharah means only sexual intercourse, then where does control over desire come in? Even if you do not know Arabic, if the so-called thinker tries to deceive you, you can ask him this question:
“Sir, then what is the meaning of control over desire?”
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had such control over his desires, so the only conclusion is that his action was merely to encourage affection and love towards his wives. Tell me, what sin is there in this?
The clear meaning of this hadith is that without lust, purely out of love, you may come close to your wife. Now, let us turn to human psychology...
Your wife wakes up an hour before you, whether it is hot or cold, she stands by the stove, cooks for you, tends to your needs, and fifteen minutes before time, she gently wakes you up saying:
“My dear husband! Please have your pre-dawn meal (suhoor).”
You enjoy your suhoor, and after praying, you lie down again, while she, poor thing, washes all the dirty dishes, tidies up, and exhausted, finally comes to bed... At such a time, if you embrace her with love, what a pinnacle of affection and fulfillment of humanity it is, how good it must make her feel, if you hug her, hide her in your arms, what wrong have you done? And our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the most loving and merciful of all.
Dear brothers! Do not be disturbed or confused by the false translations and deceptions of the deniers of hadith; do your own research. These poor souls generally do not know Arabic, and their knowledge of the Qur’an is also just passable, though they make great claims. Do not, by falling into their trap, consider your wives as untouchable; they are in greater need of your love and attention during the difficult days of fasting.
Let me also present a point for your reflection... When you see these big names, who exist only because of social media, do you think they possess great knowledge?
But the question is, by concealing the meaning of this hadith, are they not committing dishonesty?
And if someone is dishonest in matters of religion, you have accepted him as your religious guide... Remember, even the worst people feel ashamed to lie in matters of religion, they feel modesty, but if someone resorts to deception even here, what level of shamelessness must he have? Therefore, to seek religious guidance from such people is just like knowingly going to a shopkeeper about whom you know:
If he sells milk, he will add chemicals
If he sells spices, he will mix in sawdust
No, brother! These are adulterators of creed; even forgers are better than them... The decision is yours: whether you want to acquire knowledge from these forgers and, by denying hadith, remove spirituality from your life, or adopt correct beliefs as your way.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
In some narrations, the background of this hadith is mentioned in these words: Alqamah and Shurayh bin Arta’ah were with Aisha radi Allahu anha. One said to the other, “Ask Aisha radi Allahu anha whether a fasting person can kiss his wife.” At that time, Aisha radi Allahu anha narrated the aforementioned hadith.
(Fath al-Bari: 1904)
Aisha bint Talhah says that once I was with Aisha radi Allahu anha when my husband (Abdullah bin Abdur Rahman bin Abu Bakr) also came there.
Aisha radi Allahu anha said:
“Why do you not kiss your wife?” He said:
“Can I kiss her while I am fasting?” She replied:
“Yes.”
(Al-Muwatta’ of Imam Malik: 1/270, Hadith: 661) (2)
If a fasting person has control over himself such that kissing his wife will not arouse desire, then it is permissible for him to embrace his wife; otherwise, it is not permissible, because it is possible that he may not be able to restrain himself and may end up having intercourse, thereby invalidating his fast.
Since the word "irb" appears in the hadith, Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has provided a linguistic explanation of the Qur’anic words in this context.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
The religion of Islam is the religion of nature (fitrah).
In it, there are instructions regarding every aspect of life.
Here, the relationship with the wife has not been neglected in any circumstance.
In this, during fasting, kissing and embracing the wife has been permitted, provided that both parties are able to control themselves in such situations. However, in one hadith it is mentioned that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was asked about a man who kisses his wife while both are fasting, so he (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
"Both of their fasts are nullified."
(Sunan Ibn Majah, Kitab al-Siyam, Hadith: 1686)
But this hadith is not authentic because among its narrators is Abu Yazid Dini, who is unknown (majhool).
Imam al-Daraqutni said:
This hadith is not established.
Imam al-Bukhari (rahimahullah) also declared it "munkar" (rejected).
('Umdat al-Qari: 86/8)
(2)
The meaning of the laughter of Aisha (radi Allahu anha) is that she herself is the one involved in the incident.
Hafiz Ibn Hajar (rahimahullah) writes that, on such occasions, to laugh is sometimes due to embarrassment, as she herself is narrating her own situation.
Some have said that the purpose was to establish her own status and position, which made her happy.
(Fath al-Bari: 195/4)
It should be noted that this statement from Sayyida Aisha (radi Allahu anha) is narrated by her nephew, Sayyiduna Urwah (rahimahullah).

Hadith Commentary: Benefits and Issues: The reason for the laughter of Aisha radi Allahu anha is that she indicated by gesture to express that she herself was the person involved in the incident and an eyewitness, or she laughed remembering that there was once such a time and that she had received so much love and affection from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, or she laughed because, for the sake of explaining a legal issue, it became necessary to mention such matters which, under normal circumstances, are not preferred to be expressed. According to Imam Ahmad rahimahullah, Ishaq rahimahullah, and Imam Dawud az-Zahiri rahimahullah, it is permissible for a fasting person to kiss without distinction (for everyone). According to Imam Malik rahimahullah, it is disliked (makruh) for everyone. According to Imam Abu Hanifah rahimahullah and Imam Shafi'i rahimahullah, it is disliked for the young and permissible for the elderly. This is one opinion of Imam Malik rahimahullah, and another opinion is that it is permissible in a voluntary (nafl) fast but not in an obligatory (fard) fast. If ejaculation occurs, then by consensus the fast will be invalidated.

In the case of madhiy (pre-seminal fluid), according to the Hanafis and Shafi'is, the fast will remain valid, and according to Imam Malik rahimahullah, the fast must be completed and a make-up (qada) will be required. According to Imam Ahmad, one should break the fast and then make it up, but the correct view is that whether one is young or old, whether the fast is obligatory or voluntary, if one can control one's desires and emotions, then it is permissible; if there is a fear of losing control, then it is not permissible.

Hadith Footnote:
Vocabulary of the Hadith:
Arb:
Need, necessity, and desire of the self.
Irab:
Need, necessity, or a specific organ.

1:
From this hadith, the permissibility of kissing while fasting is established.
It is also proven from this that making a distinction between obligatory and voluntary fasts in this matter is not correct.
Even while observing the fasts of Ramadan, kissing is permissible.
However, this is for the person who can control himself; for one who cannot restrain his desires, this concession does not apply.

Benefits and Issues:
This hadith is weak, therefore the matter mentioned in it (sucking the tongue) is not correct.
However, kissing while fasting is established.
If a fasting person sucks and swallows the saliva of someone else, the fast is broken.

Benefits and Issues:
➊ This statement of Aisha radi Allahu anha has also been mentioned in authentic hadiths; for this reason, Shaykh al-Albani rahimahullah has declared it authentic. It is permissible for a husband and wife to kiss and embrace each other while fasting, but it is essential that they are able to control their desires. If there is a fear of exceeding the limits, then it is necessary to abstain from this act.

➋ The mentioning of these private matters by Aisha radi Allahu anha is due to a Shari‘ah necessity. One of the wisdoms behind the Prophet’s sallallahu alayhi wa sallam numerous marriages was that the Shari‘ah aspects of spousal and domestic life would become apparent to the Ummah and serve as guidance and an example for them. If these realities had not been conveyed, a large portion of the religion would have remained hidden from us and it would have been a great trial.

1653. Commentary:

➊ From here onwards, Imam al-Nasa'i rahimahullah is mentioning the differences among the students of Abu Ishaq in several narrations. According to Umar ibn Abi Zaydah, this narration is from Aisha radi Allahu anha, whereas according to Yunus, this narration is from Umm Salamah radi Allahu anha.

➋ Voluntary (nafl) prayers can also be performed while sitting; if done without an excuse, the reward will be half. And if there is an excuse (such as illness, old age, etc.), then the full reward will be given, provided that the person used to perform them standing during health and youth. However, obligatory (fard) prayers cannot be performed sitting without an excuse. With an excuse, it is permissible to sit, and the reward will also be complete.

➌ Sexual intercourse is prohibited while fasting. Absolute desire and acts such as kissing, etc. (without intercourse or ejaculation) do not invalidate the fast. There is also no difference in reward unless there is a risk of intercourse or ejaculation, in which case they are prohibited. For this reason, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not permit a young man to kiss, but permitted an old man, because there was no risk of intercourse in his case, unlike the young man.

Benefits and Issues:

➊
If a man asks a respectable woman, or women ask a respectable man, about matters related to modesty and shyness while maintaining proper etiquette and respect, there is no harm in it.

➋
When asking or explaining such matters, one should be careful in the choice of words so that the issue is clarified without any obscene speech.

➌
By "intimacy" (mubasharat) is meant matters such as kissing, embracing, etc.

➍
This permissibility is for the person who has confidence in himself that he will not exceed the lawful limits.

Lexical Explanation 539:
يُقَبَّلُ is derived from تَقبِيل, meaning to kiss.
يُبَاشِرُ refers to a husband and wife touching each other's bodies, embracing one another. It does not mean intercourse (jima‘).
لِإِربَه: Both the "hamzah" and the "ra" have been recited with a fatḥah, meaning need or carnal desire (the sexual relationship between husband and wife). According to another opinion, the "hamzah" is read with a kasrah underneath and the "ra" is sakin (silent). In this case, there are two possibilities: it either means need, or it refers to the private part, i.e., he had strong self-control over his desires or over his private part.
According to this hadith, kissing and physical intimacy (mubasharah) are permissible for a person who has the courage and ability to control himself. This concession is not for someone who does not have full control over his own self. This opinion is the most appropriate and just among all the views and statements regarding this issue.