Bulugh al-Maram

Takhrij:
«أخرجه البخاري، النكاح، باب الوصاة بالنساء، حديث:5185، 5186، ومسلم، الرضاع، باب الوصية بالنساء، حديث:1468.»©Explanation:
In this hadith, there is a command to live with women in kindness and to treat them well, and an exhortation to overlook and forgive their minor faults and shortcomings. It emphasizes bearing with their weaknesses and inappropriate actions, because these are part of their nature.

Hadith Commentary:
➊
There is crookedness in the creation of women; therefore, benefit from them in this state and do not try to straighten them according to your own temperament, because it is possible that, due to their inherent nature, they may not agree with your opinions, and matters may escalate to disputes, which could lead to separation between you. Thus, in one hadith, this is clarified: the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If you try to straighten her, you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her.”
(Sahih Muslim, al-Rada’, Hadith: 3643(715))
From this hadith, it is also understood that the crookedness of a woman is in her upper part, that is, her tongue; she will express her crookedness through her speech.
Furthermore, a woman is not quickly inclined to accept corrective training regarding her tongue; rather, sometimes the matter becomes even more intense than before. Therefore, one should be patient with her crookedness; therein lies goodness and blessing.

➋
It should be noted that a woman’s excessive silence and sealing her tongue at the time of bearing true witness are also among the fruits and branches of this crookedness.
Most women are afflicted with such excesses and deficiencies regarding their speech.

Hadith Commentary:

Benefits and Issues:
A woman was created from a rib. This can have two meanings: ➊ There is some natural and inherent deficiency and crookedness in a woman, as is mentioned in the Noble Qur’an:
“Man was created of haste” (Al-Anbiya: 37) (Man is hasty).
The second meaning is that she was created from a rib, as is mentioned in the Noble Qur’an:
“He created you from a single soul” (i.e., Adam alayhis salam)
“And from it He created its mate” (An-Nisa: 1)
(From it He created his wife (Hawwa)).
If Hawwa was not created from the left rib of Adam alayhis salam, then the creation of mankind would be from two souls instead of one, whereas the Noble Qur’an has declared creation from a single soul.

It is narrated from Ibn Abbas radi Allahu anhu that Hawwa was created from the small left rib of Adam alayhis salam while he was asleep. The upper part of the rib is more crooked.
Therefore, the greater crookedness in a woman is in her tongue.

Three meanings have been taken from (وَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا) (“Treat women well”):
➊ Desire goodwill and sympathy for them from your own souls.
➋ Accept the advice of goodwill regarding them.
➌ Enjoin goodwill to one another regarding them.
And in this, there is also an indication that although a woman was created from the upper and more crooked part of the rib, this does not mean that one should not try to reform them or that they should not be advised or commanded towards good. Rather, the real purpose is that one should try to reform them with love, affection, gentleness, and kindness, and not adopt harshness or extremism. For this reason, Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has established:
(Bab: “Save yourselves and your families”)
That you should save yourselves and your families from the Fire.

And in the Noble Qur’an it is stated:
“Admonish them, leave them alone in their beds, and beat them” (An-Nisa)
(Admonish them, leave them alone in beds, and beat them)
But the beating should not be severe, nor should the matter reach divorce so that the entire system of the household is destroyed.