Toggle above to switch between keyword search and direct hadith lookup
Hadith 869
اُردوEn
وعن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم قال : « من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فلا يؤذ جاره ، واستوصوا بالنساء خيرا ، فإنهن خلقن من ضلع ، وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه ، فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته ، وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج ، فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا ». متفق عليه ، واللفظ للبخاري . ولمسلم : فإن استمتعت بها استمتعت وبها عوج ، وإن ذهبت تقيمها كسرتها ، وكسرها طلاقها .
Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "He who believes in Allah and the last Day should not harm his neighbor; and take my advice regarding good treatment of women, for they were created from a rib. And indeed the most crooked part of the rib is its upper part. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked. So, take my advice regarding good treatment of women." [Agreed upon; the wording is al-Bukhari's]. Muslim has: "So if you enjoy her you will do so while crookedness remains in her; but if you attempt to straighten her you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her."
Related hadith on this topic
Explanation & Benefits
Shaykh Safi ur-Rahman Mubarakpuri
Takhrij:
«أخرجه البخاري، النكاح، باب الوصاة بالنساء، حديث:5185، 5186، ومسلم، الرضاع، باب الوصية بالنساء، حديث:1468.»©Explanation:
In this hadith, there is a command to live with women in kindness and to treat them well, and an exhortation to overlook and forgive their minor faults and shortcomings. It emphasizes bearing with their weaknesses and inappropriate actions, because these are part of their nature.
«أخرجه البخاري، النكاح، باب الوصاة بالنساء، حديث:5185، 5186، ومسلم، الرضاع، باب الوصية بالنساء، حديث:1468.»©Explanation:
In this hadith, there is a command to live with women in kindness and to treat them well, and an exhortation to overlook and forgive their minor faults and shortcomings. It emphasizes bearing with their weaknesses and inappropriate actions, because these are part of their nature.
Source: Bulugh al-Maram: Commentary by Safiur Rahman Mubarakpuri, Page: 869
Shaykh Abdul Sattar al-Hammad
Hadith Commentary:
➊
There is crookedness in the creation of women; therefore, benefit from them in this state and do not try to straighten them according to your own temperament, because it is possible that, due to their inherent nature, they may not agree with your opinions, and matters may escalate to disputes, which could lead to separation between you. Thus, in one hadith, this is clarified: the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If you try to straighten her, you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her.”
(Sahih Muslim, al-Rada’, Hadith: 3643(715))
From this hadith, it is also understood that the crookedness of a woman is in her upper part, that is, her tongue; she will express her crookedness through her speech.
Furthermore, a woman is not quickly inclined to accept corrective training regarding her tongue; rather, sometimes the matter becomes even more intense than before. Therefore, one should be patient with her crookedness; therein lies goodness and blessing.
➋
It should be noted that a woman’s excessive silence and sealing her tongue at the time of bearing true witness are also among the fruits and branches of this crookedness.
Most women are afflicted with such excesses and deficiencies regarding their speech.
➊
There is crookedness in the creation of women; therefore, benefit from them in this state and do not try to straighten them according to your own temperament, because it is possible that, due to their inherent nature, they may not agree with your opinions, and matters may escalate to disputes, which could lead to separation between you. Thus, in one hadith, this is clarified: the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If you try to straighten her, you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her.”
(Sahih Muslim, al-Rada’, Hadith: 3643(715))
From this hadith, it is also understood that the crookedness of a woman is in her upper part, that is, her tongue; she will express her crookedness through her speech.
Furthermore, a woman is not quickly inclined to accept corrective training regarding her tongue; rather, sometimes the matter becomes even more intense than before. Therefore, one should be patient with her crookedness; therein lies goodness and blessing.
➋
It should be noted that a woman’s excessive silence and sealing her tongue at the time of bearing true witness are also among the fruits and branches of this crookedness.
Most women are afflicted with such excesses and deficiencies regarding their speech.
Source: Hidayat al-Qari: Commentary on Sahih Bukhari, Urdu, Page: 3331
