Bukhari

Hadith Commentary:

Qadi Iyad has transmitted consensus (ijma‘) on this matter that there is no restriction regarding the quantity of food at a walimah; the food for the walimah may be prepared according to necessity and ability, whether it is little or much.

In today’s era of severe inflation, the following hadith also provides considerable ease.

Furthermore, another hadith can also be observed ahead.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
The marriage of Sayyidah Zaynab radi Allahu anha was performed by Allah Ta’ala Himself in the heavens, and for this reason, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was extremely pleased with this marriage. He arranged the wedding feast (walimah) with great generosity. The noble Companions radi Allahu anhum ate their fill of meat and bread. Sayyidah Umm Sulaym radi Allahu anha also prepared halwa as a sweet dish and presented it to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as a gift. He also served this to the guests.

(2)
There is no restriction regarding the quantity or variety in the wedding feast (walimah). In today’s era of dangerous inflation, we should act with frugality, avoiding ostentation and extravagance, and adopt moderation.

Hadith Commentary:
In this, the specification of gold is mentioned. From this hadith, it is understood that there is no fixed limit for the increase or decrease of the dowry (mahr). However, it is better that, if one has the means, the mahr should not be less than ten dirhams nor more than five hundred dirhams, because this was the mahr of the wives and daughters of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).
(Wahidi)
Nowadays, people, for the sake of show and reputation, fix mahrs of thousands, but later do not even mention paying it, except whom Allah wills.
Such people should fix only as much mahr as they can happily pay.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
In this hadith, the mention is made of a gold dowry (mahr) equivalent to the weight of a date stone, but it is difficult to ascertain exactly how much that amount was, whether the stone was large or small, and what its weight was.

(2)
After hearing the explanation from Abdur Rahman bin Awf radi Allahu anhu, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam remained silent.
From this, it is understood that the amount of the dowry (mahr) is not fixed; whatever amount both parties agree upon and are satisfied with will be considered the mahr.
This is also the intent of Imam Bukhari rahimahullah. However, it is regrettable that nowadays, merely for the sake of name and display, thousands are set as dowry, and later, there is not even a mention of its payment.
The poor wife remains silent out of tolerance.
Such individuals should set only as much dowry as they can easily and happily pay.
In this matter, pride and false sense of honor should be set aside.

(3)
It should be clear that the dowry (mahr) is the right of the woman.
If she, without any pressure, willingly forgives all or part of it, then this is her generosity and magnanimity; otherwise, it is necessary to pay the entire dowry.
And Allah knows best.

Hadith Commentary:
After the marriage, everyone should supplicate for the groom in this manner: (Baarakallahu laka wa baaraka ‘alayka, wa jama‘a baynakuma fil khayr). This is how it is narrated in Tirmidhi.
(Baarakallahu laka wa baaraka ‘alayka, wa jama‘a baynakuma fee khayr)
In the narration of Baqi ibn Makhlad, these words are reported: ‘Abdur Rahman did not apply saffron himself; rather, the saffron from his bride must have transferred onto him.
(Wahidi)

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
In the era of ignorance (Jahiliyyah), the groom was congratulated with the words "Rafā’ wa Banīn," which mean: may there be harmony between you and may you be granted male offspring. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) taught the supplication with the words "Bārakallāhu laka..." instead of these. Since the supplication from the era of ignorance did not mention the name of Allah and carried a hint of aversion towards daughters, for this reason, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) taught the groom a supplication for goodness and blessing from Allah. It is narrated from Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) would supplicate for the groom with these words: (Bārakallāhu laka wa bāraka ‘alayka, wa jama‘a baynakumā fī khayr) (Jami‘ at-Tirmidhi, Kitab an-Nikah, Hadith: 1091).

(2)
Once, a man came to Qadi Shurayh and, upon arrival, informed him of his marriage, so he congratulated him with the words "bil-rafā’ wa al-banīn." It is possible that Qadi Shurayh was not aware of the prohibition from the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) regarding this. In any case, the supplication of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) is so comprehensive that it encompasses every kind of goodness related to this world and the Hereafter. And Allah knows best. (Fath al-Bari: 9/277)

Hadith Commentary:
The walimah is a Sunnah of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), which should be performed after consummation with the wife. However, it is regrettable that nowadays, except for whom Allah wills, Muslims in general have abandoned even this practice.

The reason for the yellowish tint was that saffron was used in women's perfume, which is why it would be colored. Accordingly, in a hadith it is mentioned that there should be no color in men's perfume, and no strong scent in women's perfume.

Thus, when Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (radi Allahu anhu) consummated his marriage after the nikah, the fresh fragrance of his wife somehow got onto his clothes. It is not that he intentionally applied saffron, which is not permissible for men, and the custom of dressing the groom in saffron-colored clothing, which exists among some idol-worshipping nations, had no trace whatsoever in Arabia.

Therefore, it was that same saffron color which had transferred from the bride's clothes to his clothes. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) instructed Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (radi Allahu anhu) to hold a walimah, from which it is understood that it is Sunnah for the groom to invite to a walimah. But it is a matter of great regret that this Sunnah too is being abandoned by most Muslims, and various forms of shirk and innovation are being practiced in weddings.

May Allah, the Most High, grant Muslims the ability to follow in the footsteps of His true Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and forgive our mistakes.

Ameen.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
This hadith shows the extent of selflessness and compassion among the Ansar! They even offered their wives to their Muhajir brothers, saying: "Whichever wife you like, I will divorce her, and after her waiting period (‘iddah) is over, you may marry her."
But the self-respect and dignity of the Muhajirun are also commendable, as they paid no attention to this offer. Instead, they chose to go to the marketplace so that, by working hard, they could stand on their own feet.

(2)
Imam al-Bukhari rahimahullah has highlighted the importance of marriage through this hadith.
It should be noted that the reason ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf radi Allahu anhu had traces of yellow on him was because women’s perfume contained saffron, and for this reason, women’s fragrances were colored.
Due to contact with his wife, the fresh fragrance had gotten onto his clothes; he had not intentionally used saffron coloring.
And Allah knows best.

Hadith Commentary:
From this hadith, the selflessness (ithar) of the Ansar and the dignity and self-reliance of the Muhajirun are as clear as daylight, showing what steadfast and accomplished Muslims they were.
This hadith also indicates encouragement towards trade.
May Allah, the Exalted, especially grant the scholars the ability to reflect upon this and to be mindful of their own future.
Allahumma ameen.

Hadith Commentary:
➊
From this hadith, the selflessness of the Ansar and the self-respect of the Muhajirun are as clear as daylight.
In one narration, it is mentioned that Sa’d (radi Allahu anhu) said:
“I have two wives.
You may see which one you prefer; I will divorce her, and after she completes her waiting period (‘iddah), you may marry her.”
From this, it is evident that the Ansar honored and respected their Muhajir brothers to an extraordinary degree and acted with immense self-sacrifice and generosity. However, the Muhajirun did not take undue advantage of their favors; rather, they only accepted as much as would help them recover from their economic hardship.
In another narration, it is mentioned that the Ansar said to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam): “Please divide our date orchards between us and our brothers.”
He replied:
“No.”
The Ansar then said to their brothers:
“You may work in the orchards, and we will share the produce with you.”
They said, “That is fine.
We accept this offer.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Manaqib al-Ansar, Hadith: 3782.)

➋
In any case, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) did not make this brotherhood (mu’akhat) a matter of empty words, but rather established it as a binding and actionable covenant, connected with blood and wealth.
This brotherhood was filled with mixed emotions of selflessness and compassion, and thus the system of brotherhood filled this new society with rare and brilliant achievements.

Hadith Commentary:
As a result of the brotherhood established by the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), the sympathy and selflessness demonstrated by the Ansar is unparalleled among the nations of the world. For example, Sa'd ibn Rabi' (radi Allahu anhu) offered to give half of his property to Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (radi Allahu anhu). In fact, he had two wives, and he further said: "You may choose whichever of my wives you like; I will divorce her and, after her waiting period, you may marry her." However, Abdur Rahman ibn Awf did not avail himself of this offer; rather, he asked Sa'd for the way to the market, and through hard work and labor, he provided for himself and his family. Eventually, he married an Ansari woman, upon which the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "Hold a wedding feast (walimah), even if it is with only one goat." Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) has established the institution of brotherhood (mu'akhah) through this hadith.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has established the permissibility of yellow color for the groom.
In fact, he has reconciled between two different types of hadiths on this subject:
In one hadith, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has prohibited saffron color for men.
He has reconciled between them in such a way that the prohibition does not apply to the groom.
For him, there appears to be a concession in using this color.
And Allah knows best. (Fath al-Bari: 9/276)
(2)
Furthermore, the noble statement of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is:
“The fragrance for men is that whose color is hidden and scent is apparent, and the fragrance for women is that whose scent is hidden and color is apparent.”
(Sunan al-Nasa’i, al-Zinah, Hadith: 5120)
For one who is newly married, permission is given to use colored fragrance so that the marriage may be announced, which is the objective of the Shari‘ah.
An indication of this is also found in another hadith, that when the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam saw ‘Ali bin Umayyah radi Allahu anhu wearing colored fragrance, he said:
“Do you have a wife?” He replied:
“No,” so he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Wash it off and do not do so again.”
He says that I washed it off and resolved not to use it again.
(Sunan al-Nasa’i, al-Zinah, Hadith: 5121)

Hadith Commentary:
It is this fortunate Zaynab radi Allahu anha for whom glad tidings came from the heavens with the words "We have married her to you" (zawwajnākahā), and Allah said: "O Prophet! We have married Zaynab to you ourselves."
Through this, the erroneous custom regarding adopted sons (mutabanna) was abolished.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
The secret behind the greater wedding feast (walimah) in the marriage of Zaynab radi Allahu anha was that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam expressed gratitude for this tremendous blessing of Allah Ta’ala, that He, through revelation, arranged the marriage of Zaynab radi Allahu anha to him.
The statement of Allah Ta’ala is:
“O Prophet! We have married her (Zaynab radi Allahu anha) to you.” (: al-Ahzab: 37)

(2)
When the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam married Maymunah radi Allahu anha on the occasion of ‘Umrat al-Qada, he slaughtered several goats for her wedding feast (walimah).
Perhaps Anas radi Allahu anhu was not present at the walimah of Maymunah radi Allahu anha.
Therefore, he stated according to his knowledge that the walimah of Zaynab radi Allahu anha was the greatest.
It should be noted that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam married Maymunah radi Allahu anha after the conquest of Khaybar, and at that time, due to the victory at Khaybar, there was greater abundance, and for this reason, this walimah was greater than the others.
(Fath al-Bari: 9/296)

Hadith Commentary:

In the supplication for blessing at the time of marriage, there is an indication that marriage is a source of blessing for both parties.
Blessing is intended in all matters: sustenance, provision, offspring, religion, and faith.

Hadith Commentary:
Having a goat at the walimah is not a condition.
If there is no meat, then whatever lentils or porridge is available can be used for the walimah.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
The most virtuous way to hold a wedding feast (walimah) is to arrange for meat, and preferably from a small animal, such as a goat, etc. However, this is not a condition for the walimah. A person should act according to his means.

(2)
The following matters should be kept in mind in this regard:
➊ The wedding feast (walimah) should be arranged according to one’s ability; one should avoid taking loans for this purpose.
➋ One should stay away from ostentation and show, because good deeds done for show turn into sins.
➌ One should also refrain from extravagance and wastefulness, as this habit is not liked by Allah Ta’ala.
➍ The poor and needy should not be neglected in the invitation to the walimah; otherwise, it will be considered the worst kind of food.
➎ It is also necessary to avoid arranging immoral or prohibited acts (fawahish wa munkarat) at the walimah.

Hadith Commentary:
This hadith contains many benefits.
The purpose of Imam Bukhari rahimahullah in bringing this hadith here is to show that during the Prophetic era, the people of Islam in Madinah Munawwarah used to engage in trade.
And their best occupation was indeed trade.
Thus, when Abdur Rahman ibn Awf radi Allahu anhu, who was a Qurayshi, migrated and came to Madinah, after reflection, he adopted his old profession of trade here as well. Expressing gratitude to his Islamic brother Sa’d ibn Rabi’ radi Allahu anhu, who had offered him half of his movable and immovable property, he took the path to the marketplace.
After assessing the situation there, he started a business in oil and ghee, and Allah granted him such abundance in a short time that he even married an Ansari woman.
Abdur Rahman ibn Awf radi Allahu anhu is among the ‘Asharah Mubasharah (the ten given glad tidings of Paradise).
He entered Islam in the early period through the companionship of Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radi Allahu anhu and migrated twice to Abyssinia.
He participated in all the battles alongside the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
He was tall and fair-skinned.
In the Battle of Uhud, he received more than twenty wounds on his body, due to which he developed a limp in his legs.
He was a very wealthy Muslim in Madinah and held the status of chief of the traders.
Many incidents of his generosity are also mentioned.
He passed away at the age of 72 in 32 AH and was buried in Jannat al-Baqi’.
He gave his wife in mahr (dower) a “nawat min adh-dhahab,” that is, a lump of gold, whose weight may have been more than five dirhams.
From this hadith, the emphasis on holding a walimah (wedding feast) is also established, and it is also known that slaughtering a goat or sheep for the walimah is preferable.
The yellow color may have been from some perfume or from some mixed substance in which something yellow was included, and he may have performed ritual bath (ghusl) with it, etc.

Hadith Commentary:
(1)
From this hadith, it is understood that during the blessed era of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), some of the noble Companions (radi Allahu anhum) were engaged in the profession of trade. This establishes the legitimacy of buying and selling, trade, and similar activities. Furthermore, there is no objection for a respectable person to adopt the profession of trade. This leads to the purification of character, provided it is pursued within the boundaries set by the Shariah. Allah, the Exalted, has placed much goodness and blessing in this profession, as is evident from the incident of Abdur Rahman ibn Awf (radi Allahu anhu).
(2)
This hadith also shows that acquiring wealth through gifts and the like was not the objective of the noble Companions (radi Allahu anhum); rather, they disregarded such means and made trade their means of livelihood. Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) has established this point.

Hadith Commentary:
Benefits and Issues:
➊ According to Imam Malik rahimahullah, it is permissible to sprinkle saffron on clothes. According to Imam Abu Hanifah rahimahullah and Imam Shafi’i rahimahullah, it is not permissible. Some scholars hold that it is permissible for a man to use colored fragrance at the time of marriage, but generally, it is considered that this color was transferred from a woman’s fragrance. This is because women’s fragrance should be colored and without scent, and a gold piece the size of a date stone is equivalent to five dirhams.
➋ To hold a wedding feast (walimah) after the marriage is Sunnah, although the Zahiris and some Shafi’is have declared it obligatory. It is better that it be held after the wedding night, but according to some Malikis, it is better immediately after the marriage contract. There is no fixed amount for the walimah; it should be done according to one’s means and capacity.

Explanation:
1: In (أولم ولو بشاة), the word "even" (لو) is used for minimization, meaning at least slaughter a goat. However, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sufficed with only sawiq (a type of porridge) and dates for the walimah of Safiyyah. Therefore, it is recommended (mustahabb) that the walimah be according to the husband's financial means. Considering the financial situation of Abdur Rahman ibn Awf radi Allahu anhu, a single goat for the walimah was little, which is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, "Hold a walimah, even if with a single goat."

2:
The food served on the occasion of marriage is called walimah. It is derived from "walam" (with a fatha on the waw and sukun on the lam), which means to gather and assemble. Since the husband and wife come together, it is called walimah. The correct time for walimah is after consummation (khalwah sahihah). According to the majority, walimah is a sunnah, and some have said it is obligatory (wajib).

Benefits and Issues:
➊ A person should set the dowry (mahr) according to his ability, so that giving and taking it is easy.

➋ It is not permissible for men to use saffron or other colored substances (powders).

➌ Even on occasions of marriage or mourning, gathering close or distant relatives without any important purpose is not a Sunnah. When Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf's radi Allahu anhu marriage took place while living in a small settlement, the Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was not informed.

➍ The real Sunnah is the wedding feast (walimah), according to one's means, whatever is available—whether it is a goat or more or less something else. For example, the Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam served only barley meal (sattu) at the walimah of Lady Safiyyah radi Allahu anha.

➎ In this regard, if we look at our weddings, they are entirely against Islamic teachings. For example, large wedding processions (baraat) and then their elaborate feasts. Similarly, the abundance of various types of food at the walimah and other customs—there is no room in Islam for such extravagance, wastefulness, and frivolities.

(For details, see "Masnoon Nikah aur Shadi Byan ki Rasoomat," published by Darussalam, authored by Hafiz Salahuddin Yusuf sahib.)

Benefits and Issues:
Benefit: This marriage took place on the basis of revelation (wahy).
In it, there was no arrangement for a guardian (wali), dower (mahr), or witnesses.
It is mentioned in Surah Al-Ahzab:
(“So when Zayd had accomplished his desire from her, We married her to you so that there would not be any difficulty for the believers concerning the wives of their adopted sons when they have accomplished their desire from them.”) ( Al-Ahzab: 37)
Thus, when Zayd had fulfilled his need from that woman, We gave her to you in marriage so that there would not remain any constraint upon the Muslims regarding the wives of their adopted sons when they have fulfilled their desire from them.

(1) The extensive system of brotherhood (mu’akhah) established between the Muhajirun and the Ansar is a magnificent and unparalleled achievement in human history. No other religion, ideology, or movement has been able to present an example like this, which united unrelated people with bonds even stronger than those of blood brothers—especially in an era when people would become enemies of one another without reason. Is there anyone who could offer his brother what Sa’d ibn Rabi’ radi Allahu anhu offered to Abdur Rahman ibn Awf radi Allahu anhu? Radi Allahu anhum wa ardaahum.

(2) The “Ansari woman” is referred to as Umm Aws bint Anas.

From the approach of Imam Nasa’i rahimahullah, it appears that he considers the use of colored fragrance by the groom at the time of marriage to be permissible. Perhaps on the basis of this very hadith, some jurists have declared it permissible for a person getting married to apply henna. However, deriving this evidence from this hadith is questionable, because he did not apply this fragrance intentionally; rather, it was transferred to him due to sitting and interacting with his wife. Otherwise, he knew that the use of colored fragrance is not permissible for men. That is why the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam forbade him; otherwise, he would have clarified it. And Allah knows best.

For details, see Hadith number 3353.

(1) "Sufrah" was a colored perfume that women used. Colored perfume is not permissible for men, which is why the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had to inquire about it.

(2) "Get married"—this was inferred by him from the colored perfume; this perfume is not permissible for men. He had acquired this scent due to sitting with his wife; he had not applied it intentionally. That is why not much attention was given to it.

(3) "Nawah" was a gold coin whose value was three, or according to some, five dirhams. Thus, even such an amount can be a dowry (mahr). According to the Hanafis, the minimum dowry is ten dirhams. Their evidence is a weak hadith from Dar Qutni. Whereas in the Noble Qur'an, there is mention of unrestricted wealth, and in authentic ahadith, even an iron ring has been deemed sufficient as dowry. In case of contradiction, one should act upon the authentic ahadith. Imam Malik rahimahullah considers a quarter dinar (approximately three dirhams) as the minimum dowry. The correct view is that there is no fixed minimum. As for the wedding feast (walimah), the Arabs used to hold walimah with several camels, but that was a time of hardship, so even less was sufficient. The majority of scholars consider walimah to be recommended (mustahabb), but the Zahiris, adhering to the apparent wording, have declared it obligatory (wajib). It is Sunnah to hold the walimah on the day after the marriage, but due to some legitimate (shar‘i) necessity, it can be delayed. There is no evidence for holding the walimah before the marriage. This is an invitation from the groom on the occasion of the happiness of marriage.

(4) The dowry (mahr) is necessary.

Benefits and Issues:

➊
The Prophetic instruction is:
“The fragrance for men is that whose scent is apparent and whose color is not obvious.
And the fragrance for women is that whose color is apparent and whose scent is not obvious.” (Jami‘ al-Tirmidhi, al-Adab, Chapter: What Has Been Related About the Perfume of Men and Women, Hadith: 2787)

➋
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) noticed the trace of women’s perfume on a companion’s clothing, so he inquired as to why he had applied women’s perfume. In this, there is a subtle manner of admonition, indicating that its use is not appropriate for you.
And there is also an indication that if there is a reasonable excuse, then it should be stated.

➌
Upon seeing a mistake in someone, it is not correct to immediately be harsh; rather, one should inquire from the one who erred about the reason, so that only as much admonition is given as is necessary.

➍
By “pit” is meant the date pit.
This was a well-known measure of weight in that era.
Its quantity has been mentioned as five dirhams (approximately one and a half tolah). (Mirqat Sharh Mishkat, al-Nikah, Chapter: al-Walimah, Hadith: 3210)

➎
The Prophetic instruction, “Even if it is only one goat,”
indicates that they had the means for more. From this, it is understood that one should not be extravagant in the walimah (wedding feast); rather, whatever arrangement can be made easily and without undue burden, according to one’s capacity, is sufficient.

Hadith Authentication:
[وأخرجه البخاري 5153، من حديث مالك به، ورواه مسلم 81/1427، من حديث حميد الطّويل به وصرّح حميد بالسماع عند البخاري 5072]

Jurisprudential Points:
➊ Holding a wedding feast (walimah) according to one’s means is Sunnah.
➋ It is preferable that the dower (mahr) be paid at the time of the marriage contract or wedding itself.
➌ It is permissible to marry outside one’s own tribe or community. See: [تفقه نمبر : 5]
➍ The dower (mahr) can be large or small; there is no fixed amount established for it. However, one should not be extravagant or excessive in this matter, as was instructed by Sayyiduna Umar radi Allahu anhu. See: [سنن ابي داؤد 2106، ومسند امام أحمد 1/48 ح340 وهو حسن]
❀ The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: «خير النكاح أيسره» The best marriage is that which is the easiest. [صحيح ابن حبان، الاحسان : 4060 دوسرا نسخه 4072 وسنده صحيح، سنن ابي داؤد : 2117، وصححه الحاكم 2/181، 182، عليٰ شرط الشيخين ووافقه الذهبي]
➎ Marrying within one’s own tribe or outside of it—both are completely correct and permissible.
➏ The Knower of the unseen (Alim al-Ghayb) is only Allah, exalted is He.
➐ This hadith also shows that there is no concept of the customary wedding procession (baraat) in Islam; otherwise, how could it be possible that the Companions would not have taken their most beloved personality, Sayyiduna Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, along with their wedding procession?

Benefit:
From this hadith, it is understood that the noble Companions (radi Allahu anhum ajma'in) used to give preference to others over themselves, and the noble Companions (radi Allahu anhum ajma'in) preferred to work hard themselves and did not like to be a burden on anyone.
A man may send a marriage proposal to a woman, and giving the dowry (mahr) is obligatory. And the wedding feast (walimah) is also obligatory. Drawing lots is permissible.