الفتح الربانی
Fath al-Rabbani
بيان موانع النكاحExplanation of Impediments to Marriage
باب فضل إحسان العِشْرَةِ وَحُسْنِ الْخُلُقِ مَعَ الزوجة
Chapter: The Virtue of Good Companionship and Good Character with the Wife
Hadith 7125
عَنِ الْعِرْبَاضِ بْنِ سَارِيَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ إِذَا سَقَى امْرَأَتَهُ مِنَ الْمَاءِ أُجِرَ قَالَ فَأَتَيْتُهَا فَسَقَيْتُهَا وَحَدَّثْتُهَا بِمَا سَمِعْتُ مِنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Irbadh bin Sariyah (may Allah be pleased with him), he says: When I heard the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saying that indeed there is reward for a man in giving water to his wife, I went to my wife and gave her water, and then I related to her the hadith I had heard from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).
Hadith 7126
عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ فِي حَدِيثٍ طَوِيلٍ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ وَلَكَ فِي جِمَاعِ زَوْجَتِكَ أَجْرٌ فَقَالَ أَبُو ذَرٍّ وَكَيْفَ يَكُونُ لِي أَجْرٌ فِي شَهْوَتِي فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَرَأَيْتَ لَوْ كَانَ لَكَ وَلَدٌ فَأَدْرَكَ وَرَجَوْتَ خَيْرَهُ فَمَاتَ أَكُنْتَ تَحْتَسِبُ بِهِ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ قَالَ فَأَنْتَ خَلَقْتَهُ قَالَ بَلِ اللَّهُ خَلَقَهُ قَالَ فَأَنْتَ هَدَيْتَهُ قَالَ بَلِ اللَّهُ هَدَاهُ قَالَ فَأَنْتَ تَرْزُقُهُ قَالَ بَلِ اللَّهُ كَانَ يَرْزُقُهُ قَالَ كَذَلِكَ فَضَعْهُ فِي حَلَالِهِ وَجَنِّبْهُ حَرَامَهُ فَإِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ أَحْيَاهُ وَإِنْ شَاءَ أَمَاتَهُ وَلَكَ أَجْرٌ
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him), this is a long hadith, in it: The Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: O Abu Dharr! For you, there is reward in having intercourse with your wife. He said: I have fulfilled my desire, how can there be reward in that? The Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Tell me, if you had a son, then he reached maturity and you had hope for good from him, but then he passed away, would you be patient with the intention of reward? He said: Yes. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Well, tell me, did you create him? He said: No, Allah Almighty created him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Did you guide him? He said: No, rather Allah Almighty guided him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Did you provide for him? He said: No, rather Allah Almighty provided for him. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: In the same way, seek the lawful through intercourse and avoid the unlawful, so if Allah Almighty wills, He will keep him alive, and if He wills, He will cause him to die, and in that there will be reward for you.
Hadith 7127
عَنِ النُّعْمَانِ بْنِ بَشِيرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ جَاءَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ يَسْتَأْذِنُ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَسَمِعَ عَائِشَةَ وَهِيَ رَافِعَةٌ صَوْتَهَا عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَأَذِنَ لَهُ فَدَخَلَ فَقَالَ يَا ابْنَةَ أُمِّ رُومَانَ وَتَنَاوَلَهَا أَتَرْفَعِينَ صَوْتَكِ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ فَحَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا قَالَ فَلَمَّا خَرَجَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ جَعَلَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ لَهَا يَتَرَضَّاهَا أَنْ تَرَيْنَ أَنِّي قَدْ حُلْتُ بَيْنَ الرَّجُلِ وَبَيْنَكِ قَالَ ثُمَّ جَاءَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَاسْتَأْذَنَ عَلَيْهِ فَوَجَدَهُ يُضَاحِكُهَا قَالَ فَأَذِنَ لَهُ فَدَخَلَ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو بَكْرٍ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَشْرِكَانِي فِي سِلْمِكُمَا كَمَا أَشْرَكْتُمَانِي فِي حَرْبِكُمَا
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Nu’man bin Bashir (may Allah be pleased with him) that Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) came and sought permission to enter the house of the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). At the same time, he heard that Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was speaking in a loud voice with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). So he said to his daughter: O daughter of Umm Ruman! Are you raising your voice over the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)? Then the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) intervened between Sayyiduna Abu Bakr and Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with them both). When Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) went out, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) began to say to her to please her: Do you not see that I intervened between you and your father to save you? Later, when Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) came, he found the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in such a state that he was laughing with Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). So he sought permission and said: O Messenger of Allah! Admit me into your environment of reconciliation just as you admitted me into your environment of dispute.
Hadith 7128
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْمَرْأَةُ كَالضِّلَعِ فَإِنْ تَحْرِصْ عَلَى إِقَامَتِهِ تَكْسِرْهُ وَإِنْ تَتْرُكْهُ تَسْتَمْتِعْ بِهِ وَفِيهِ عِوَجٌ
Narrated by Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, you will break her, and if you leave her, you will benefit from her while crookedness remains in her.
Hadith 7129
(وَعَنْهُ مِنْ طَرِيقٍ ثَانٍ) قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَا تَسْتَقِيمُ لَكَ الْمَرْأَةُ عَلَى خَلِيقَةٍ وَاحِدَةٍ إِنَّمَا هِيَ كَالضِّلَعِ إِنْ تُقِمْهَا تَكْسِرْهَا وَإِنْ تَتْرُكْهَا تَسْتَمْتِعْ بِهَا وَفِيهَا عِوَجٌ
(Second chain) The Noble Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: A woman cannot remain straight for you on one habit and disposition; she is like a rib. If you try to straighten this rib, you will break it, and if you leave it as it is, you will continue to benefit from it, and its crookedness will remain.
Hadith 7130
عَنْ سَمُرَةَ بْنِ جُنْدُبٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ وَإِنَّكَ إِنْ تُرِدْ إِقَامَةَ الضِّلَعِ تَكْسِرْهَا فَدَارِهَا تَعِشْ بِهَا
Narrated by Sayyiduna Samurah bin Jundub (may Allah be pleased with him), the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: Woman was created from a rib; if you try to straighten her, you will break her, so treat her with kindness and gentleness, so that you may continue to live with her.
Hadith 7131
عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ الْمَرْأَةُ كَالضِّلَعِ إِنْ أَقَمْتَهَا كَسَرْتَهَا وَهِيَ يُسْتَمْتَعُ بِهَا عَلَى عِوَجٍ فِيهَا
Narrated by Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her completely, you will break her, but benefit can be taken from her despite this crookedness.
Hadith 7132
عَنْ نُعَيْمِ بْنِ قَعْنَبِ الرِّيَاحِيِّ قَالَ أَتَيْتُ أَبَا ذَرٍّ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ فَلَمْ أَجِدْهُ وَرَأَيْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ فَسَأَلْتُهَا فَقَالَتْ هُوَ ذَاكَ فِي ضَيْعَةٍ لَهُ فَجَاءَ يَقُودُ أَوْ يَسُوقُ بَعِيرَيْنِ قَاطِرًا أَحَدَهُمَا فِي عَجُزِ صَاحِبِهِ فِي عُنُقِ كُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا قِرْبَةٌ فَوَضَعَ الْقِرْبَتَيْنِ قُلْتُ يَا أَبَا ذَرٍّ مَا كَانَ مِنَ النَّاسِ أَحَدٌ أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ أَنْ أَلْقَاهُ مِنْكَ وَلَا أَبْغَضَ أَنْ أَلْقَاهُ مِنْكَ قَالَ لِلَّهِ أَبُوكَ وَمَا يَجْمَعُ هَذَا قَالَ قُلْتُ إِنِّي كُنْتُ وَأَدْتُ فِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ وَكُنْتُ أَرْجُو فِي لِقَائِكَ أَنْ تُخْبِرَنِي أَنَّ لِي تَوْبَةً وَمَخْرَجًا وَكُنْتُ أَخْشَى فِي لِقَائِكَ أَنْ تُخْبِرَنِي إِنَّهُ لَا تَوْبَةَ لِي فَقَالَ أَفِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ قَالَ عَفَا اللَّهُ عَمَّا سَلَفَ ثُمَّ عَاجَ بِرَأْسِهِ إِلَى الْمَرْأَةِ فَأَمَرَ لِي بِطَعَامٍ فَالْتَوَتْ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ أَمَرَهَا فَالْتَوَتْ عَلَيْهِ حَتَّى ارْتَفَعَتْ أَصْوَاتُهُمَا قَالَ إِيهَا دَعِينَا عَنْكِ فَإِنَّكُنَّ لَنْ تَعْدُونَ مَا قَالَ لَنَا فِيكُنَّ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ قُلْتُ وَمَا قَالَ لَكُمْ فِيهِنَّ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ الْمَرْأَةُ ضِلَعٌ فَإِنْ تَذْهَبْ تُقَوِّمْهَا تَكْسِرْهَا وَإِنْ تَدَعْهَا فَفِيهَا أَوَدٌ وَبُلْغَةٌ فَوَلَّتْ فَجَاءَتْ بِثَرِيدَةٍ كَأَنَّهَا قَطَاةٌ فَقَالَ كُلْ وَلَا أَهُولَنَّكَ إِنِّي صَائِمٌ ثُمَّ قَامَ يُصَلِّي فَجَعَلَ يُهَذِّبُ الرُّكُوعَ وَيُخَفِّفُهُ وَرَأَيْتُهُ يَتَحَرَّى أَنْ أَشْبَعَ أَوْ أُقَارِبَ ثُمَّ جَاءَ فَوَضَعَ يَدَهُ مَعِيَ فَقُلْتُ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ فَقَالَ مَا لَكَ فَقُلْتُ مَنْ كُنْتُ أَخْشَى مِنَ النَّاسِ أَنْ يَكْذِبَنِي فَمَا كُنْتُ أَخْشَى أَنْ تَكْذِبَنِي قَالَ لِلَّهِ أَبُوكَ إِنْ كَذَبْتُكَ كِذْبَةً مُنْذُ لَقِيتَنِي فَقَالَ أَلَمْ تُخْبِرْنِي أَنَّكَ صَائِمٌ ثُمَّ أَرَاكَ تَأْكُلُ قَالَ بَلَى إِنِّي صُمْتُ ثَلَاثَةَ أَيَّامٍ مِنْ هَذَا الشَّهْرِ فَوَجَبَ أَجْرُهُ وَحَلَّ لِيَ الطَّعَامُ مَعَكَ
Naeem bin Qanab Riyahi says: I came to Sayyiduna Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him), but I did not find him and asked his wife. She said: He is over there at his property. Meanwhile, he arrived, driving two camels, one tied to the back of the other, and each had a water skin on its neck. He unloaded the water skins, and I said: O Abu Dharr! Among the people, I most desired to meet you, and at the same time, meeting you was most disliked by me. He said: What is the reason for this? May your father’s life be prolonged. He said: In the days of ignorance, I used to bury daughters alive. I desired to meet you in the hope that you would tell me whether there is any repentance or way out for me or not, and I feared meeting you lest you say that there is no repentance for me. Sayyiduna Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: Was this burying alive done in the days of ignorance? I said: Yes. He said: What has passed before, Allah Almighty has forgiven. Then he gestured with his head to his wife to bring food for me, but she did not pay attention. Then he ordered her, but again she did not pay attention, until their voices arguing grew loud. He said to his wife: Be quiet and go away from here. You can never exceed what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has said about you. Naeem says: I asked: What did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) say about these women? Sayyiduna Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, you will break her, and if you leave her crookedness as it is, you will continue to benefit from her. Then Sayyiduna Abu Dharr’s wife left and after a while brought tharid (a dish of bread and meat). Its taste was like that of the meat of a qata (a bird the size of a pigeon or quail). Sayyiduna Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said to me: Eat, and do not be upset by my not eating with you, for I am fasting. Then he himself stood up and began to pray, making his bowing and other movements very light. I think when he realized that I was about to be full, he came and sat with me and started eating. I expressed regret by saying “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.” Sayyiduna Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: What happened? I said: If an ordinary person had lied, I would not have regretted it, but I never imagined that a lie could come from you. He said: You have spoken well. Since you and I have met, have I ever told a lie? I said: Just a little while ago you said you were fasting, and now I see you have started eating. He said: Certainly, certainly, the reason is that I have already fasted three days of this month. One good deed is equal to ten, so the reward of a month has been established, and eating with you was permissible for me.
Hadith 7133
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْمَلِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنَهُمْ خُلُقًا وَخِيَارُهُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ
Narrated by Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: Among the believers, the one with the most perfect faith is he who has the best character, and the best among them are those who are best to their wives.
Hadith 7134
عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْمَلِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنَهُمْ خُلُقًا وَأَلْطَفَهُمْ بِأَهْلِهِ
It is narrated from Sayyidah Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Among the people, the most complete in faith are those who have the best character and are kind and gracious to their wives.
Hadith 7135
وَعَنْهَا أَيْضًا قَالَتْ لَقَدْ رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَلَى بَابِ حُجْرَتِي وَالْحَبَشَةُ يَلْعَبُونَ بِحِرَابِهِمْ يَسْتُرُنِي بِرِدَائِهِ لِكَيْ أَنْظُرَ إِلَى لَعِبِهِمْ ثُمَّ يَقُومُ حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَنَا الَّتِي أَنْصَرِفُ
Narrated by Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), she says: I saw the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) at the door of my chamber, while the Abyssinians were playing with their war weapons, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was screening me with his cloak so that I could watch their play. Then he would stand there until I myself would turn away.
Hadith 7136
وَعَنْهَا رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ كُنْتُ أَلْعَبُ بِالْبَنَاتِ وَيَجِيءُ صَوَاحِبِي فَيَلْعَبْنَ مَعِي فَإِذَا رَأَيْنَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ انْقَمَعْنَ وَكَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُدْخِلُهُنَّ عَلَيَّ فَيَلْعَبْنَ مَعِي
Narrated by Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), she said: I used to play with my dolls and my friends would also come and play with me. When they saw the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), they would leave, but then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) himself would send them back to me, so they would come and play with me.
