Fath al-Rabbani

Benefits: … From this hadith, it is understood that obedience to parents takes precedence over the desires of the self, when their command appears to be more in accordance with the religion, because it is apparent that the reason for the dislike of Sayyiduna Umar radi Allahu anhu was likely the woman’s deficiency in religion.

In this hadith, an example of obedience to parents has been mentioned. Imam Mubarakpuri, while explaining this hadith, wrote: This clear evidence demands that when a father orders his son to divorce (talaq) his wife, he should divorce her in compliance with his father’s command, even if he loves his wife, because this love cannot serve as an excuse in the face of the parents’ command. In this hadith, only the father is mentioned, but the same status applies to the mother’s command, because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has clarified in another hadith that the mother’s right over her son is greater than that of the father. (Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi) However, if the basis of the parents’ command is not religious or moral, then they should be explained with respect and courtesy so that they too become pleased, and so that unnecessary injustice is not done to the woman. Otherwise, the parents’ command should be given preference over the wife, and she should be let go.

But unfortunately, nowadays people have made their wives, children, and friends the standard for good or bad conduct towards their parents. Every kind of whim and fancy of the wife is fulfilled, but the expenses incurred on the parents are considered a burden, even though their amount is less.