Fath al-Rabbani

Benefits: … In this blessed hadith, a general invitation is mentioned, from which it is understood that one should not participate in an invitation without permission, and if, upon seeking permission, the host refuses, then no one should feel anything about it. See how the Noble Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself is seeking permission from the host for one person. A Muslim can be invited at any time; this is an act that brings reward and merit. However, nowadays, among Muslims, a routine of invitations has developed for various occasions, such as circumcision, engagement, henna, ubtan, wedding procession, and preparing elaborate meals on the occasion of some worldly success. Women come with heavy makeup to display themselves, and then the environment influences people to such an extent that everyone considers it necessary to bring some gift or cash on such occasions. Then the hosts keep a record of these gifts and cash, and after the program is over, they review who gave what. If someone gave a less expensive item or did not give anything at all, they think, “We treated him in such and such a way on his happy occasion, but he did not care for anything.” In such gatherings, the person who brings the most expensive gift or gives the most cash is considered the most esteemed.

If one studies deeply the temperament of Islam and the objectives of invitations, it becomes clear that these programs are not free from affectation, dislike, and hardship. These ceremonies have made life extremely difficult for the poor and even for people of average income. People can be heard telling religious leaders to, for Allah’s sake, put an end to these customs—someone is falling into debt, someone’s household budget is being ruined, someone is begging, and yet no one has the religious courage to refrain from organizing such programs or to abstain from participating in them. Islam is a religion of simplicity; it calls for staying away from affectation, but it encourages heartfelt love and urges sincere invitations, provided there is no affectation in them.

Elaborate and extravagant wedding feasts (walimah) and arranging meals on the occasion of a death are also highly questionable.

It is appropriate to mention here that the elders who laid the foundation for such gatherings did so with the intention of promoting mutual love and ending resentments, and they practiced this in reality, while maintaining simplicity in invitations. The poor would participate according to their means, and if someone could not afford it, he would quietly fulfill his obligation. But what is the situation now? It is an expression of wealth and affluence, a means of pride and boasting. Merely to display grandeur, hundreds of thousands of rupees are given as contracts to tent service providers, and expensive and beautiful marriage halls are rented. Now it is a competition: if he organizes such a program for his son’s wedding, why can’t we? On the other hand, through women’s adornment and beautification, shamelessness is displayed. In the ladies’ hall, waiters, movie makers, and mischievous boys are allowed to roam as if they are innocent and underage children. Families known for their honor have their daughters made up in beauty parlors and seated before immoral gazes, and the movie maker can even be heard saying, “Madam, please sit like this, look this way, turn your neck a little, everyone move away from in front of the bride,” while in the other hall, the same girl’s father and brother are seen acting as upholders of the Shariah. This is the result of outward show and hearts devoid of love.

It is astonishing that when those who spend extravagantly on such ceremonies are told that a certain person is your needy relative and is struggling to make ends meet, their hands are tied, and they begin to make excuses with eloquent words. In fact, efforts are made to sever ties with poor relatives. What kind of contradiction is this? Brother! Yesterday, arranging an elaborate meal for twelve hundred people at the wedding procession was easy for you, but today supporting a single household is proving difficult—why? Is your state of faith changing, or have your inclinations changed? We can show readers hundreds of such practical examples: close relatives of millionaires are seen requesting mosque imams and preachers to arrange some assistance from people for them, but not to mention their names.

Our great leader and guide is Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would serve ghee and date halwa at a walimah, or serve two mudd of barley at a wife’s walimah. The greatest walimah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was when he slaughtered a goat for the Muslims. A companion, at his own walimah, served the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam nabidh (water of dates soaked overnight). But when it came to charity, this very Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, is seen distributing gold and giving each Qurayshi one hundred camels. The examples of the charity of the noble Companions radi Allahu anhum are even more evident than the sun: the needy were given so much that their needs were fulfilled. But these are the qualities of that era, whose people had heartfelt and sincere love, who stayed away from show and pride, whose gatherings aimed to please Allah Ta’ala, and who had a deep connection with Allah Ta’ala and His Messenger.

Dear readers! Believe me, when people receive such invitations, they become anxious about how to arrange the expenses to participate in the program. For many invitations, they have to travel long distances; for every invitation, some gift or cash must be given, and special attire must be worn. These are matters of personal observation.

Our view is that simplicity should be preferred, the spirit of Islam should be understood, and one should refrain from any ceremony that was not observed in the Prophetic era. If someone is wealthy, he should consider his wealth a trust from Allah Ta’ala and spend it according to the teachings of Islam. Sayyiduna Uthman Ghani radi Allahu anhu was also wealthy.