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Hadith 6323

عَنْ حَكِيمِ بْنِ قَيْسِ بْنِ عَاصِمٍ عَنْ أَبِيهِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ أَنَّهُ أَوْصَى وَلَدَهُ عِنْدَ مَوْتِهِ قَالَ اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَسَوِّدُوا أَكْبَرَكُمْ فَإِنَّ الْقَوْمَ إِذَا سَوَّدُوا أَكْبَرَهُمْ خَلَفُوا أَبَاهُمْ فَذَكَرَ الْحَدِيثَ وَإِذَا مُتُّ فَلَا تَنُوحُوا عَلَيَّ فَإِنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَمْ يُنَحْ عَلَيْهِ
Sayyiduna Qais bin Asim (may Allah be pleased with him) advised his sons near his death: Remain fearful of Allah, and appoint the eldest among you as your leader. Indeed, when people appoint the eldest as their leader, he becomes the successor of his father. And when I die, do not wail over me, because wailing was not done over the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).
Hadith Reference الفتح الربانی / مسائل الوصايا / 6323
Hadith Grading محدثین: صحیح
Hadith Takhrij «اسناده محتمل للتحسين۔ أخرجه النسائي: 4/ 16 ، (انظر مسند أحمد ترقيم الرسالة: 20612 ترقیم بيت الأفكار الدولية: 20888»
Brief Explanation
Benefits: … Sayyiduna Qais bin Asim radi Allahu anhu is giving instructions regarding matters related to after death. The elders of a family are certainly dignified and their words are accepted, but elders should never be heedless of the following hadith.

Hazrat Anas bin Malik radi Allahu anhu narrates that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “Indeed, among the people are those who are keys to goodness and locks against evil, and indeed, among the people are those who are keys to evil and locks against goodness. Glad tidings for the one whom Allah has made the keys of goodness at his hands, and destruction for the one whom Allah has made the keys of evil at his hands.” (Ibn Majah: 237, Sahihah: 1332)

Allah Ta’ala grants certain individuals a special status and rank within their families; the members of the family consider them the head of the tribe and, whether they wish to or not, regard themselves as bound by their decisions. Such honorable people should promote good practices within their families and put an end to matters that are contrary to the Shari‘ah. There is no excellence in a leader whose subordinates continue to act as they please while his own position is nothing more than that of a mere spectator.

In this hadith, a severe warning is given for such leaders under whose leadership, on occasions like weddings, matters contrary to the Shari‘ah are given full preference.