Fath al-Rabbani

Benefits: … From these ahadith it is established that Muslims should prepare food for the immediate relatives of the deceased. However, at present, one of the great afflictions among us is the arrangement of food for those who participate in the funeral and condolence gatherings, for which a formal announcement is even made at the funeral place, and which the family of the deceased has come to consider, albeit unwillingly, as a matter of their honor. This is a strange kind of sympathy and goodwill: on the one hand, the family of the deceased is suffering distress and agony, and on the other hand, they are required to arrange food on a large scale. This humble servant has personally witnessed such incidents where, upon the death of a prominent member of the community, the arrangements for his ritual bath (ghusl) and shrouding (kafan) had not yet been made, but the family of the deceased had gathered and were worried about the food, even considering slaughtering one of their cows. There are also those who, in fulfilling the customs associated with death, have become destitute and, for ten years or more, have not been able to stand on their own feet, even though they previously had their own businesses. This system is neither legally (shar'an) nor ethically permissible in any way, and the reality is that the majority of people are extremely fed up with this custom, but, considering it a matter of their own honor and reputation, have become trapped in it.