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الادب المفرد
Adab al-Mufrad
كتابBook of Children’s Influence
بَابُ الْوَلَدُ مَبْخَلَةٌ مَجْبَنَةٌChapter: Children Are a Source of Stinginess and Cowardice
Hadith 84
اُردوEn
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ صَالِحٍ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنِي اللَّيْثُ قَالَ: كَتَبَ إِلَيَّ هِشَامٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ يَوْمًا: وَاللَّهِ مَا عَلَى وَجْهِ الأَرْضِ رَجُلٌ أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ مِنْ عُمَرَ، فَلَمَّا خَرَجَ رَجَعَ فَقَالَ: كَيْفَ حَلَفْتُ أَيْ بُنَيَّةُ؟ فَقُلْتُ لَهُ، فَقَالَ: أَعَزُّ عَلَيَّ، وَالْوَلَدُ أَلْوَطُ.
It is narrated from Sayyidah Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), she said that one day Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: By Allah! There is no one on the face of the earth more beloved to me than Umar. After saying this, he went out, and when he returned, he said: Daughter! How did I take the oath? I said to him: (You took the oath in this way). Then he said: (Umar) is dearest to me, however, (in being beloved) children are more deserving.
Explanation & Benefits
Shaykh Maulana Usman Muneeb
Benefits and Issues:
➊ The chapter established by Imam Bukhari is derived from a hadith of the Messenger of Allah. He (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
((Inna al-walada mankhalatun majbanatun)) (Sunan Ibn Majah, al-Adab, Hadith: 3666)
“Indeed, children are a cause of miserliness and cowardice.”
➋ To emphasize one’s statement, it is permissible to take an oath when necessary; however, it is only permissible to swear by Allah, the Exalted. Furthermore, if a person, overcome by emotion, swears an oath and later realizes that the reality is otherwise, he may retract it. Such an oath will be considered vain (laghw).
➌ Love is of two types: (1) Natural and instinctive love, (2) Love based on a quality or virtue. Natural and instinctive love includes the love for children, parents, siblings, and other relatives, and this occurs involuntarily. In this, all humans are equal. However, in the second case, the standard of love differs for each person. A person loves another to the extent that he is impressed by their virtues. Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu), after the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), was most impressed by Umar (radi Allahu anhu); therefore, he expressed this love regarding him. Because he was at the rank of Siddiq, he immediately corrected even the slightest non-factual expression made in emotion, so that there would be no contradiction between his words and his inner feelings. For it is a human weakness that a person’s heart is more attached to his children than to others.
➊ The chapter established by Imam Bukhari is derived from a hadith of the Messenger of Allah. He (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
((Inna al-walada mankhalatun majbanatun)) (Sunan Ibn Majah, al-Adab, Hadith: 3666)
“Indeed, children are a cause of miserliness and cowardice.”
➋ To emphasize one’s statement, it is permissible to take an oath when necessary; however, it is only permissible to swear by Allah, the Exalted. Furthermore, if a person, overcome by emotion, swears an oath and later realizes that the reality is otherwise, he may retract it. Such an oath will be considered vain (laghw).
➌ Love is of two types: (1) Natural and instinctive love, (2) Love based on a quality or virtue. Natural and instinctive love includes the love for children, parents, siblings, and other relatives, and this occurs involuntarily. In this, all humans are equal. However, in the second case, the standard of love differs for each person. A person loves another to the extent that he is impressed by their virtues. Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu), after the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), was most impressed by Umar (radi Allahu anhu); therefore, he expressed this love regarding him. Because he was at the rank of Siddiq, he immediately corrected even the slightest non-factual expression made in emotion, so that there would be no contradiction between his words and his inner feelings. For it is a human weakness that a person’s heart is more attached to his children than to others.
Source: Fadlullah al-Ahad: Urdu Commentary on al-Adab al-Mufrad, Page: 84
