Adab al-Mufrad

Benefits and Issues:
➊ Using abusive language during fights and quarrels is a sign of hypocrisy and is sinful (fisq). Abusing one’s parents is a major sin (kabirah) and among the major sins, its heinousness is extremely severe.

➋ When the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) explained that abusing one’s parents is a major sin, the attendees, out of astonishment, asked: “Can anyone actually abuse their parents?” The reason for this is that if a person is upon their natural disposition (fitrah), it is not possible for them to abuse their parents; in fact, they cannot even imagine it. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) replied that most of the time, a person does not directly abuse their parents, but becomes the cause for their parents to be abused by others, and being the cause of an action is equivalent to doing it. Therefore, every possible effort should be made not to do anything that would bring disgrace to one’s parents.

➌ In the present era, lack of interest in religion and imitation of the West have brought Muslims to such a state that people themselves abuse their parents, expel them from their homes, and do not show any regard for their respect and honor. Some incompetent individuals do not even tolerate calling their parents “mother” or “father.” This is the result of rebellion against nature and Islam. It is the responsibility of parents to adorn their children with religious education so that they may recognize the status and rank of parents.

➍ In another place, the one who abuses his parents has been declared accursed (mal‘un) (Sahih al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib, Hadith: 2516). Sometimes, the one who disobeys and abuses his parents is made a lesson for others even in this world. The well-known Tabi‘i, ‘Awwam ibn Hawshab, said:
Once I stayed as a guest with a tribe. Next to this tribe was a graveyard. After ‘Asr, one of the graves split open and a man appeared. His head was like the head of a donkey, while the rest of his body was human. He brayed like a donkey three times, then the grave closed up again. Nearby, an old woman was spinning wool or hair. A woman said: “Do you see this old woman?” I asked: “What about her?” She said: “She is the mother of the one (who appeared from the grave).” I asked: “What is his story?” She said: “He used to drink wine. When he would come home in the evening, his mother would say to him: ‘Son, fear Allah and refrain from drinking wine.’ He would say: ‘You bray like a donkey (all the time)!’” Then the woman explained that one day after ‘Asr, he died, and now every day after ‘Asr, his grave splits open, he brays like a donkey three times, and then the grave closes over him. (Sahih al-Targhib, Hadith: 2517)

➎ Shaykh al-Albani rahimahullah has transmitted from Ibn Battal, via Hafiz Ibn Hajar, that this hadith forms a fundamental principle in blocking the means (sadd al-dhara’i‘), meaning that any action which leads to the commission of a prohibited act is itself prohibited, even if the intention is not to commit the prohibited act. For example, looking at a non-mahram leads to fornication, so it is prohibited to look at a non-mahram, even if there is no intention of fornication.
Al-Mawardi rahimahullah has deduced from this that it is not permissible to sell silk (or gold) to a man when it is certain that he will wear it. Similarly, it is not permissible to sell grapes to someone when it is certain that he will make wine from them. Other items can be analogized to this as well.