Abu Dawud

267. Commentary:
It is very difficult for an ordinary scholar to present the issues between spouses in this manner, but since these are matters of religious purity and the limits set by Allah, the Mothers of the Believers (radi Allahu anhunna) have also explained them. Otherwise, their modesty and shyness were unparalleled and matchless (radi Allahu anhunna). One of the wisdoms behind the Prophet’s (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) multiple marriages was precisely this: that the issues between spouses could be presented before the Ummah from a Shari’ah perspective.

Issue:
Kissing and embracing during menstruation (hayd) is certainly permissible, but it must be considered to what extent such a couple can control themselves. If there is a fear that self-control will not be maintained, then utmost caution should be exercised so that they do not fall into what is forbidden. Also, see hadith: [258]

Explanation:
In all these ahadith, what is meant by lying down or sitting with a woman during her menstruation (hayd) is intimacy without intercourse. The deniers of hadith, by interpreting these ahadith as referring to intercourse (jima‘), and thereby presenting them as contradictory to the Qur’an, are engaging in sheer falsehood and fabrication.

Hadith Commentary:
➊
Imam Bukhari rahimahullah has established this chapter regarding the rulings of intimacy (mubasharah) with a menstruating woman. By this is meant sleeping with or caressing a menstruating woman, not intercourse (jima‘), because intercourse with a menstruating woman is not permissible under any circumstance.

Although in our common usage and idiom, the word "mubasharah" is used for intercourse, therefore, translating it as "mubasharah" in Urdu is incorrect.

Some short-sighted Orientalists, in view of the ahadith mentioned in this chapter, have—God forbid—tried to portray the noble personality of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as "fond of women," claiming that he did not abstain from them even during menstruation. These ahadith absolutely do not prove such a thing.

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was extremely refined and pure.

Even an ordinary person feels aversion to approaching a woman during menstruation, let alone attributing such an act to the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

﴿ سُبْحَانَكَ هَٰذَا بُهْتَانٌ عَظِيمٌ ﴾

For the information of the esteemed readers, the "dabb" (spiny-tailed lizard) has been endowed by the Creator (Allah Ta‘ala) with extremely strong sexual instincts. Reliable eyewitnesses state that it has two male organs. People eat it and use its fat as an ointment.

In the ahadith, it is mentioned that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, despite its permissibility, disliked it.

Other companions radi Allahu anhum ate it at his table, but he himself did not partake.

Most likely, the reason for this was that people would gossip that since the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had nine wives in his marriage, he used the dabb (spiny-tailed lizard).

He expressed dislike for it so that no one could find fault with his noble character from any angle.

And Allah knows best.

➋
According to Imam Thawri rahimahullah, Imam Ahmad rahimahullah, Imam Ishaq rahimahullah, and many other imams, during menstruation only intercourse (jima‘) is prohibited, and deriving pleasure from the rest of the body apart from the private area (the place of menstruation) is permissible.

From the perspective of evidence, this opinion appears to be the strongest. This is also supported by the narration in Sunan Abu Dawud, in which it is mentioned that if the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam desired intimacy with his wife while she was menstruating, he would place a cloth over her private area.

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Book of Purification, Hadith: 272)

The narration that differentiates between the initial and later days of menstruation, which Ibn Hajar rahimahullah has quoted in Fath al-Bari from Ibn Majah, is found in Mu‘jam Tabarani, but it is weak.

(al-Silsilah al-Da‘ifah: 2839)

It should be remembered that permissibility is only in the case where a person has control over himself; otherwise, during menstruation, the man should keep away from the woman.

➌
The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had complete control over his desires.

This can have two meanings:

© The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had full control over his emotions, and it was impossible that even if he wished to rest with any of his wives without an izar (lower garment), any unlawful act could occur from him. Yet, despite such control, he would first ensure the izar was worn, then rest with her.

© Even after wearing the izar, there remains a possibility of being swept away by intense emotions, so despite using the izar, caution is necessary. Therefore, regarding lying with one's wife during menstruation, the detail is that if a person has complete confidence in himself and there is no fear of wrongdoing, then it is permissible; otherwise, it should be prohibited.

➍
The hadith of Aisha radi Allahu anha (no. 302) has been narrated from Abu Ishaq Shaybani by Khalid ibn Abdullah al-Wasiti and Jarir ibn Abdul Hamid, who have corroborated Ali ibn Mushir. The corroboration of Khalid has been narrated with a connected chain by Abu al-Qasim al-Tanukhi in his Fawa’id, while the corroboration of Jarir has been narrated with a connected chain by Abu Dawud in his Sunan and Imam Hakim in his Mustadrak.

Mansur ibn Abi al-Aswad has also narrated this from Shaybani, which Abu Awanah has narrated with a connected chain in his Musnad.

(Fath al-Bari: 5261)

➎
The deniers of hadith in the present age strive to create contradictions and conflicts between the Qur’an and hadith in order to pave the way for the rejection of hadith.

In this way, when hadith has no role in understanding the Qur’an, there will be no obstacle in making arbitrary interpretations of the Noble Qur’an. Regarding this hadith as well, they have said that it mentions intimacy (mubasharah) with the wife during menstruation, whereas the Qur’an contains a prohibitive ruling about this; therefore, this hadith is unacceptable as it is contrary to the Qur’an.

We have mentioned this to warn the esteemed readers.

The hadith is clear in its meaning that mubasharah does not mean intercourse, but rather lying with one’s wife and caressing her. If there appears to be a contradiction between the Qur’an and hadith, then instead of rejecting it, it should be reconciled.

In several verses of the Noble Qur’an, there appears to be an apparent contradiction, but the commentators reconcile them; it is not the case that wherever a minor contradiction appears, it is outright rejected.

Hadith Commentary: Benefits and Issues: ➊
The original meaning of ḥayḍ (menstruation) is “flowing,” that is, to flow. It is said: ḥāḍa al-wādī — the valley overflowed. In the Shar‘i (legal) sense, ḥayḍ is the blood that leaves the womb of a woman upon reaching puberty, and it generally comes for six or seven days in known and specified days. However, due to differences in season, circumstances, diet, and temperament, some women may experience it for fewer or more days.
When a woman becomes pregnant, by Allah’s command, this very blood serves as nourishment for the child, and in this situation, the woman does not menstruate, except as Allah wills. When childbirth occurs, then by Allah’s perfect wisdom, this very blood, in the form of milk, becomes nourishment for the child.
Therefore, generally, during the days of breastfeeding, menstruation does not occur. If menstruation does begin during this period, then pregnancy usually occurs soon after.

➋
During the days of menstruation, having intercourse with a woman is impermissible according to the Qur’an and Hadith. However, apart from this, lying together or kissing and caressing is permissible.
If someone, out of ignorance or unawareness, commits this act (intercourse), there is no expiation (kaffārah) upon him; he should repent and seek forgiveness. If someone does this deliberately, but still considers the act impermissible (i.e., does not regard it as lawful), then there is a difference of opinion regarding its expiation, but there is no doubt that it is a major sin.
For this, repentance and seeking forgiveness is necessary.
In the narration of Sunan al-Nasa’i, p. 370, there is mention of giving a dinar or half a dinar in charity.
If a person fears that by lying together he will not be able to control himself and the matter may reach to the establishment of relations (intercourse), then he should avoid intimacy, i.e., lying together or kissing and caressing.

Benefits and Issues:
Since the entire life of the Prophet is a model and example for the Ummah, therefore even the conditions within his household have been described.